Friday, August 31, 2012

12 Ways To Keep A Positive Attitude.

Do you have a positive attitude? More importantly, do other people think you do? Staying upbeat can be challenging when things aren’t going well at work or with the family. Our society understands that and has responded to the problem with a bevy of positive attitude books and power of positive thinking messages. But then we struggle to understand how to have a positive attitude when you lose a job, a marriage fails, or a child is struggling with health problems. While it is possible to exude self-confidence that is reinforced by positive affirmations, it takes consistent effort. Below are 12 reliable tips for improving your state of mind to cultivate a positive attitude.

1. Give thanks for each day.
Whether you say it to yourself or pray about it, express gratitude for all the things you take for granted, including your place to live, family, employment, clothes, neighbors, transportation, education, sunshine, food choices, health, and freedom. Even if you have just some of these things, or small amounts of them—like a high school diploma instead of a college degree—be thankful that you have even that much. Americans enjoy the top 10% of the world’s wealth; now, that’s something to be glad about.

2. Count your personal blessings.
In addition to general gratitude, look for personal benefits in your life. These could include things like a clear mind, a fit body, nice furniture, a social life, leisure time, trustworthy friends, health care insurance, entertainment opportunities, and a host of other things that you wouldn’t notice unless they were taken from you. You can even make a list and add to it as more things come to mind. Then when you are feeling down, read your list to be reminded of all the good things in your life.

3. Do a good deed without telling anyone.
Isn’t it exciting to help people without their knowing it? Imagine the surprise on a single mom’s face when she receives an anonymous delivery of groceries or a gift card for a free oil change. How about a child’s delighted grin when he finds a bicycle with his name on it on the back porch or receives a gift certificate for the athletic equipment store? An elderly neighbor might gasp in shock to find her flower beds weeded one morning. There are plenty of good deeds waiting to be done by caring people like you. The surprising backlash is you will feel better about yourself and the world at large, too.

4. Forgive an old hurt.
Holding a grudge for weeks, months, or years can keep a sour expression on anyone’s face. Contact the person who has wronged you, using email, telephone, or a note card, and express your forgiveness in kind, not controlling words. You will feel empowered by your ability to demonstrate strength of character in humility and forgiveness, which can open the door to restored relations and help you feel better about your magnanimous actions.

5. Ask to be forgiven.
If you have wronged someone but stubbornly refuse to admit it, now is the time to seek forgiveness. Call or write to say you’re sorry. If the recipient of your apology gives you a hard time, thank him for listening and mention you have to get going. By remaining polite and respectful, your apology will let you get the old burden off your chest, no matter how the other person reacts. You’ll feel better, stronger, and freer automatically.

6. Appreciate your belongings.
Have you ever noticed the quality of your hand-sewn leather shoes? How about the unbeatable taste of Grandma’s award-winning apple pie recipe? Do you enjoy the feel of leather in your late-model car? Isn’t it great crashing on your sofa after a trying day at work?

All of these material comforts may seem small when compared to other things, but they are priceless in their own way, providing emotional and physical comfort as well as ownership pride and satisfaction. Be happy that you can afford leather shoes, and that you have a grandmother who bakes, and that you can relax in the privacy of your home. Many people do not have these things.

7. Compliment someone.
When you feel truly lousy and just don’t want to be bothered, say something nice to the next person you see, assuming it isn’t someone to avoid. Making a positive statement about a person’s appearance, attitude, health, or job performance can help him or her feel better, and you will feel good, too, for improving that person’s day.

8. Admire the view.
Find a comfortable seat outdoors and admire the scenery around you. This could be at a small urban park near your workplace during your lunch break, a cluster of trees in your neighborhood, or a country drive in the evening or over the weekend. Pastoral scenes help to rid your mind of stressful images and are conducive for helping you to relax and feel good about nature and life.

9. Donate something.
If you have something in your home that you’re not using, give it to someone who can use it. People in need of these things may appreciate an extra television, a second crock-pot, or a computer printer that you’ve replaced. If you don’t know someone who needs a spare, give it to a donation store and collect the tax receipt. Both outcomes should put a smile on your face.

10. Volunteer to help the needy.
If you have a busy schedule, perhaps helping once a year will be enough. Otherwise, try to donate a few extra hours each month to aid those in need. This might take the form of registering runners in a charitable marathon, delivering meals to shut-ins, or driving elderly persons to doctor appointments. There are numerous ways to offer assistance, which will make you feel needed and appreciated.

11. Sing a song.
Admit it—it’s hard to sing and stay in a bad mood! When you start to feel down and need to get back a positive attitude, hum or sing to yourself a childhood favorite or a contemporary pop hit. Either way, your spirits are bound to be lifted, boosting your self-confidence.

12. Smile!
Whenever you get a case of the grumps, look in the mirror and smile! You will truly smile at seeing your image in an artificial posture of gaiety. Practice your smile in front of the mirror until you find one you like—then share it frequently with those around you to demonstrate the power of positive thinking, as they probably will smile back, thus reinforcing your friendly efforts. Even when you’re sick, angry, or sad, remember to smile as you catch others’ glances at work, in the supermarket, and especially at home among your loved ones. A smile is contagious and promotes good will as well as a favorable impression of the one wearing it.

By Rose Alexander

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Free Yourself By “Letting Go” of What You Can’t Control.

We all want to feel like we’re in control of our life and are masters of our destiny.
Think of a time when things started to feel out of control in your life. How did you feel? What did you do?
Did you do everything in your power to regain control, and cling to the little bit of direction you had left?
Many people become consumed with what they can’t control and obsessed with making things different.
If we ever want true emotional well-being and spiritual freedom we have to learn to “let go” of what we can’t control.
When we dwell on what is out of our control, whether something that happened to us in the past, or something we’re awaiting in the future, it prevents us from experiencing the beauty in the moment and having peace of mind.

The paradox of control

The more we try to control things the less control we will experience. Things will inevitably be different than we expect and can change in an instant. When we can embrace that things are ever changing we begin to loosen our grip on the many areas of life we try to hold sway over.
When we desire control and don’t have it, it leads to worrying and agitation. We become irrational and start thinking about all the negative things that could happen. The more control we crave the more we begin to live from fear and desperation.
Here are a few ideas to help you “let go”.
Is it that you can’t or you won’t?
This is an important question to ask yourself to help you “let go” of the emotional burden that comes with a desire for control. Ask yourself, “Is this a situation where I can’t change or I won’t change.”
Sometimes we feel like we can’t make a change, “I can’t quite my job.” “I can’t give up this salary.” “I can’t get into college.” “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t…” Statement such as these set us up to feel out of control.
Usually it’s not that we can’t, but that we won’t.
When we can accept we won’t change it makes it much easier to let go and move forward. From this perspective, we have a choice in the matter.
Accentuate the positive
When we don’t feel in control it’s easy to focus on what’s going wrong and how terrible things are. We start to feel disempowered and lose perspective on our capabilities.
We may start catastrophizing about all the horrible things that could happen and have trouble looking beyond the immediate situation.
By learning to focus on what’s going right and not letting our situation consume our thoughts, we not only experience less distress but will be able to think more clearly and problem solve more effectively.
Stay mindful and breath
Mindfulness is an approach to experiencing life moment by moment. When we are mindful we can deal with our situation without being judgmental or critical of ourselves or the circumstances.
When we feel unpleasant we don’t have to get caught up in this. We can relax and step back, instead of brooding in this negative state.
Work to be mindful of your breath. Just pay attention to your natural breathing. You can also be mindful of your senses, or your thoughts. The goal is to remain present and nonjudgmental of what is taking place.
Being aware can help simplify a situation and make if easier to deal with it.
Visualize your desired outcome
Visualization is one of the most powerful ways to overcome fears and push past uneasiness. All successful musicians, athletes, and performers visualize themselves completing the task that awaits them.
Visualization is different than simply day dreaming or fantasizing about an outcome we desire. We must take action and put in the work necessary to make a change.
Despite what is taking place at the time we can visualize a successful outcome. This will give us psychological and emotional support to stay motivated and able to persevere, and it will keep our thinking focused on what we desire and prevent us from feeling overwhelmed or panicked.
Keep a sense of humor
Have you ever noticed that when things aren’t going the way we planned, even the smallest things can start to cause stress? When under stress we become overly serious and neglect the many moments of pleasure and gratification that surround us.
Humor can really cut tension and lighten-up a difficult situation.
When things seem bleak looking at things from a humorous perspective can help lighten the load. Look for humor in serious situations and use this as a tool to release your grip on control.
Focus on what you can control
When life seems completely out of control, there is always something amidst the chaos that can help us regain a sense of control.
It may be something very small, and if nothing else we can always learn to control our attitude.
We can’t control everything that takes place, but we can learn to focus on what we can do personally and how we can make a change. This helps us move beyond a victim mentality and to feel empowered to take action.
By. Joe Wilner

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

How To Attract Anything You Want In Life.

Is it really possible to "attract anything" into your life? You bet! It's possible and you can do it anytime you want. The process of attracting things you want into your life might look odd at first, but will work like magic, if you have faith in the process.

This process is called The Law of Attraction. Though there is no concrete scientific evidence that this law works, there are millions of people who have used the law and achieved everything they wanted including money, wealth, relationships, new business ventures etc.

The easiest way to understand this law is to compare yourself to a magnet. Just like a magnet has the power to attract certain things towards it and cling to it, you too can attract whatever you want. In case of the magnet, its core is already built up of stuff that makes things attract to it. But, in your case, you have to "build your own magnet". This is very simple provided you follow some simple steps.

1. Make a list of all the things you want in your life. Don't be afraid that you might not be able to achieve some of those goals. If you are afraid, you are working against the law and there is no point of going forward in this exercise.

2. An easy way of achieving step 1 is to think what all you would want in life if you can already afford them. Imagine you are already a millionaire (or a billionaire). What would you want in your life? Where would you live? What type of house would you live in? What kind of "toys" you would own? Who would be living with you? Write it as clearly as possible.

3. Now point out the single most important goal. Let's say it is about owning your dream house.

4. Set a deadline for achievement of your goal.

5. Write this goal on:
1 small card which can fit into your wallet
1 poster

6. Everyday spend some time early in the morning to visualize your goal. Imagine as if you are already living in your dream house. You might want to put on some music to help you relax and visualize better. 

7. The more times you do the above exercise, the better it is. You start believing it is real and very soon it will.

8. In the coming days, you will be surprised to meet new people who can help you in achieving your goal. You will get exposed to new knowledge about your goal. This is when you will start experiencing the Law of Attraction. The more clearly you can visualize and feel the achievement of your goal, the sooner you will start experiencing the power of this law.

9. Never ever doubt your capabilities. Do not indulge in negative thinking. Think positive always.

Repeat the steps 3 to 9 for all major goals of your life. If you follow the above 9 steps, you can attract anything you want in your life! 

By. Nishant Kasibhatla

If you are interested in learning more about the "Laws of Attraction" I recommend you purchase the book "The Secret" By. Rhonda Byrne

Monday, August 27, 2012

How to Stop Obsessive Thoughts?

If you have reached a point in your life where you want to be rid of the continuous torture of the “thought generating” mind then it’s your good fortune. Obsessive or negative thoughts can make living miserable when you are plagued by them, but this very situation can become the invitation to transcend mind and be free of suffering forever.
Can you stop obsessive thoughts? – If you could it would be great, but the truth is that it’s slightly more complicated than just suppressing your thoughts which at-most you can do for a few seconds. Plus suppressing thoughts is even worse than enduring thoughts. It builds up a lot of negative energy inside.
So how to stop thinking horrible thoughts? The secret to stopping obsessive or negative thoughts is to detach from the mind. You cannot fight mind with the mind. That’s what this article is about. Let’s look at this in more detail.

If you believe that you are your mind, that’s a false notion again. If you are your mind then how can you observe the thoughts? So you must be separate from the mind to see what the mind is doing.
So the mind generates thoughts, which are mostly just energy forms. These thoughts pass through like clouds. We identify with some of these thoughts and obsess about them. So in truth all thoughts are just neutral energy forms, it’s “your” interest or association with the thoughts that makes them obsessive. If you can understand this truth, you have taken the first step towards getting rid of obsessive thoughts.

How to Stop Obsessive Negative Thoughts?

If you are asking this question, ask yourself another question – “is this question not another thought? It’s a thought about killing thoughts”. All your attempts at suppressing and stopping thoughts will fail because you will be using the mind to stop the mind. The police man and thief are both the mind, so how can the police man catch the thief?
So you cannot kill the mind by force. The mind dies its own death by the poison of disassociation.
What gives power to a thought? – Your interest. If you have no interest in a particular thought then it loses its hold over you. You can try this out now. Let the thoughts flow through your mind but don’t take interest in them. Just stay as a bystander or a watcher and let the thoughts float.
Initially you might have a hard time watching thoughts because of your inherent habit of associating with each thought that arises. It helps to know that you are not your thoughts, that thoughts are just energy forms created in the mind. Why does the mind create thoughts? No one knows – it’s just something it does, why bother. Do you ever ask why does the heart beat?
With a little practice you will get really good at watching thoughts and not involving yourself with them. You will stop giving power to thoughts by not giving them your interest. Thoughts die immediately when they are deprived of this fuel of interest. If you don’t associate with the thought or give power to the thought, it will wither away quickly.

What Are Thoughts?

Past events get stored as memories. Your mind conditioning and beliefs are also stored as memories. All this is unconscious storage; the mind does all this in auto mode. Perceptions and interpretations are created in the mind based on its past “external” conditioning and also its natural conditioning (genetics). These interpretations, perceptions and judgments come up as thoughts in the mind, and they can positive or negative depending on the mind’s conditioning. Thoughts are generated based on the past incidents/memories, future projections and interpretations on the present life situation. It’s like a computer trying to predict or conjure up projection based on the data it has collected so far.
When thoughts are negative in nature (thoughts of worry, anxiety, stress, lack, resentment, guilt etc) they produce resistance to the movement of your life, and this resistance is felt as suffering. Negative thoughts will always stand in resistance to the movement of your life, like blocks of stone in the midst of a swift current of water. Life is a stream of pure positive energy and hence any negative thought will stand in opposition to it, causing friction which is felt as suffering in the body.
The thoughts in your mind gain power from your attention and interest. Your attention is the fuel for your mind. So when you give attention to negative thoughts in the mind, you are unconsciously fueling it and thus attracting more momentum for these negative thoughts. The momentum of negative thoughts in your mind will slow down, and ebb away, automatically when you stop feeding your attention to it. Stay as an open space of awareness without contracting your attention on the negative thoughts of the mind, and soon they will lose their momentum.
You can focus on the positive thoughts generated in the mind, and thus develop a positive momentum in your mind. Every time your mind produces some positive thoughts, e.g thoughts of love, joy, excitement, abundance, beauty, appreciation, passion, peace etc, focus on it, milk it, and give attention to it. This will cause your mind to attract more positive thoughts and thus build a positive momentum. Whenever it thinks negatively, don’t give it attention or interest, this will cause the ebbing away of the momentum of negative thinking. It’s really that simple. Once you understand the mechanics of how thoughts gain momentum in the mind, you will be in total control of your state of being.

The Practice of Watching the Mind

All you need to do to get rid of obsessive thoughts is to watch the mind without getting involved. You will get really good at this with just a little practice. This practice, or “sadhana” as called in Hindu scriptures, is the root of awakening from the illusion of mind.
Without trying to understand this practice just implement it. The more you try to understand the more mind gets involved. Just watch the mind and you will soon see that you are not the mind at all. That the mind is like a machine in your head that generates thoughts based on your attention/interest. Be free of your mind by depriving it of your interest. This is the only direct path of becoming free of the mind.
Written by: Sen -

Feel Less Frustrated When Stressed.

Often when people are stressed they feel more frustrated and emotionally reactive to events that would normally affect them less. In fact, increased frustration, irritability and sensitivity can be signs of burnout as well. If you find yourself feeling less patient, more frustrated, more emotional, and less able to handle the stresses of your life, there are several things you can do to feel better:

Here's How:

  1. Find Quick Stress Relief
    Stopping your stress response relatively early on can help you to respond more calmly rather than reacting to stress in a way that you might regret. Quick stress relievers such as breathing exercises or Progressive Muscle Relaxation, for example, can calm you down and help you feel less frustrated and more able to handle what comes. Then you can take the next steps with a clearer head. Learn more about quick stress relievers so you can be prepared for what comes.
  2. Change Your Attitude
    Much of whether or not we see something as stressful depends on our habitual thought patterns and how we process the world around us. For example, those who see things as under their control tend to be less stressed about what happens to them, as they see that they always have options for change. Studies have shown health benefits to optimistic ways of thinking as well. Learn more about how to develop a resilient state of mind, and you’ll feel less stressed.
  3. Change Your Lifestyle
    If you feel yourself to be continually on edge, it’s possible that something needs to change in your life. If you cut down on commitments, take good care of your body, and make other healthy lifestyle changes, you’ll be dealing with less overall stress so you’ll be more effective at managing the stress that you do encounter. Read more about the most effective changes you can make to lead a healthy lifestyle.
  4. Draw on Social Support
    Often people are helped by having the release and support of sharing their troubles with close friends, family or loved ones. While it’s not healthy to constantly complain about an endless list of woes, talking to a trusted friend about frustrations now and then (and returning the favor by being a good listener) can help you process what’s going on with your life, and enable you to brainstorm solutions. If you don’t have someone you’re comfortable sharing your situation with, seeing a therapist or starting a regular journaling practice have both been shown to have benefits as well.
  5. Have Some Regular Stress Relief Activities
    To maintain a less stressed lifestyle, it’s important to have some regular stress relieving activities in your life. Those who regularly walk, meditate, or enjoy other stress relief activities in their lives tend to feel less stressed in general and less reactive to specific stressors that arise through the day.
       Elizabeth Scott, M.S.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

After a While.

After a while you learn
The subtle difference between
Holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't always mean security.

And you begin to learn
That kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes ahead
With the grace of a woman
Not the grief of a child

And you learn
To build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is
Too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way
Of falling down in mid flight

After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden
And decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers

And you learn
That you really can endure
That you are really strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn and you learn
With every good bye you learn.

Veronica A. Shoffstall

How To Love Yourself In 17 Ways.

"When you don’t love yourself, you are basically telling the Universe that you are unworthy or undeserving of any love or positive outcomes that have the same vibrational match as love."
Learning to love yourself starts with making a conscious decision, an intention to become happy and lead a fulfilled life. When you do not love yourself and suffer from low self esteem, it is almost impossible to ever reach the potential that you suspect you have.
When you make a decision to love yourself, you are really saying that you want to come alive. You accept that you are responsible for the outcomes that you experience in your life and would like yourself to shine from living a fulfilling life.
So if you’ve decided on loving yourself but are as equally stumped on how to love yourself, as I was back then, here are 17 ways which I believe can be helpful:
1. Fall in love with yourself. Think about what makes you You. Just like a flower that needs watering to grow, learn to nurture yourself in every way. Love yourself for all the good that you see and accept your flaws and the fact that you are imperfect. This does not mean that you do not learn to change from your shortcomings; instead, you are being gentle and kind to yourself despite all your “flaws”. Look in the mirror and fall in love with the reflection that is You.
2. Eliminate Self Criticism. Do you often berate yourself over the tiniest thing? Is there a little voice inside your head that often tells you that you are no good because you are stupid or make mistakes. If you find that you criticize yourself often, make an effort to stop the self criticism.
3. Be Kind And Positive. When you start to think kindly and positively about yourself, the love you have for yourself just grows. Make it a habit to praise yourself everyday, while in the front of the mirror. Because of such thoughts, you naturally undertake empowering actions that support your development.
4. Acknowledge Your Effort. It is not always about winning or coming up tops in everything that you do. Many times, it is the effort that counts! Acknowledge that you have done your best, even if you have failed to produce tangible results.
5. Let Go Of Worry. Loving yourself requires you to let go of your worry. It is a horrible way to live a life filled with constant worrying. I can attest to that! Worry does not help in any way. It cannot, on its own, make things happen. Only wise actions can! So instead of worrying, spend time thinking about what you can do to help in the situation. If the situation is beyond your control, then make a request to the Universe/God about what you want. Next, surrender your outcome.
6. Trust Yourself. Have confidence in your abilities. Know that you have the ability to make important changes for yourself, for as long as you put your heart to it. You can also support yourself by visualizing desired outcomes.
7. Forgive Yourself. If you have made mistakes in the past that had caused you to feel less worthy, then you need to forgive yourself. All of us make mistakes; so there really is no need to beat yourself up over them. Also, if you have been carrying around a baggage of emotional hurt because of a childhood trauma, learn to forgive yourself.
8. Be Truthful To Yourself. Loving yourself requires you to be truthful about your own feelings. If you are happy, acknowledge the joy. If you are sad, acknowledge the sorrow. When you are truthful about your feelings, you do not try to lie to yourself or seek to bury your negative emotions. Instead, acknowledging what you feel provides a good guide to what your thoughts are. And as we all know, thoughts can be changed, so that healing and self growth can take place.
9. Grow Spiritually. When you spend time growing spiritually, loving yourself becomes automatic. You become more peaceful, connected, kind, loving and compassionate. You nurture a mind that grows more beautiful by the day. You naturally love yourself in the process.
10. Make Positive Affirmations Everyday. Reframe your mind with positive affirmations. For instance, say this to yourself “I love and accept myself completely and unconditionally.” Read your affirmations out loud several times a day.
11. Express Gratitude. Express gratitude for the person that you are. For instance, cultivate an appreciation for your strengths and gifts. Also, feel a sense of gratitude that you are alive and well, and fully capable of making a difference in your life.
12. Nurture Your Dreams. Why deny yourself your dreams? When you nurture your dreams, you would love the life that you are leading. Every moment that you live is a joy because you are expressing yourself fully.
13. Boost Your Self Confidence. Make a deliberate attempt to look for opportunities that can help improve your confidence. For instance, if you are particularly good at doing something, set aside more time to indulge and improve your skills on it. Knowing that you have particular gifts can boost your self esteem.
14. Relax. Give yourself space to take breaks every now and then. If you spend your time working, without paying attention to your health, it also means that you do not love yourself well enough to take care of your own body. Fill your time with silence, soothing music and visions of beauty; anything that nourishes your Soul.
15. Have Fun. Inject some fun into your life. Life is meant to be an enjoyable. Don’t take life or yourself too seriously. If you can think of life in this manner, you automatically relax and quit worrying over things that do not matter.
16. Look After Your Body. It is important that you strengthen yourself with proper nutrition and regular exercise. Your body is a temple and you should treat it with respect, love and care. It has been found that the lack of self love is often the root causes of conditions like eating disorders, obesity or even terminal diseases.
17. Learn To See Beauty. When you learn to see beauty in every thing, you will also see beauty in yourself. Hence, stop to smell the flowers. Notice everything. Feel everything. The pink blush of the flowers in your garden, the greenness of the plains, the whisper of the gentle wind, or the myriad hues of an evening sky.
By. Evelyn Lim

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Positive Attitude Tips.

Are you looking for positive attitude tips? Do you need help maintaining a sunny disposition and a glass half-full attitude? You can change your overall attitude much in the same way you can change your fitness level. It may feel challenging at first, but after a little attitude training you might actually find yourself feeling downright optimistic.
Surround Yourself With Positive People
If you find your friends and family are getting you down, schedule yourself such that you are too busy for the naysayers and only have time for those who help you see the sunnier side of life.
Meditate on Your Blessings
A mere 15 minutes a day of quiet meditation can help you feel centered and positive. Sit in a comfortable spot, focus on your breathing and repeat in your mind a list of your blessings. If your mind drifts to negative thoughts, simply replace that thought with a new positive thought. Don't indulge in worrying, venting or fuming during this exercise. Instead, focus on repeating words that make you feel good about your life.
Write Out a Gratitude List
Take the time to quick jot down a list of the positive things in your life. Write them out as fast as you can, without allowing yourself to think too long about any particular thing. After you're done, tuck the list in your pocket so you keep those positive thoughts with you for the rest of the day.
Stop Yourself When You Start to Complain
Police yourself when you find yourself saying negative things. Instead correct yourself by either amending any negative statements or changing the topic.
Listen to Someone Who Has It Worse Than You
If you're feeling down, have coffee with a friend or relative that needs a helping hand. By listening to their woes, you may see the positive things in your life more clearly.
Crack a Joke
Even gallows humor has its rightful place. Making a joke-and the very act of laughing-will help you feel better. Laughter therapy is formally practiced in some circles, with very positive reviews.
Practice Random Acts of Kindness
Become known for your generosity. Open doors for strangers, compliment your coworkers, bring in a platter of treats for your coworkers or share the bounty from your garden.
Eat Properly
Eat a healthy diet of fruit, vegetables, whole grains and lean meats; take vitamins, especially the B vitamins. Drink plenty of water, tea and juice. Indulge in a piece of dark chocolate once in a while. If you take care of yourself physically, you'll feel better emotionally.
Go For a Walk
Or a run. Or play a game of tennis. If you're physically active for 30 minutes, your body will release endorphins, which affect mood positively. Physical activity relieves tension and makes you feel better about yourself.
Give a Hug
It doesn't matter if you're comforting someone or just greeting someone, a hug will help you feel better about things. It will also probably help someone else feel more positive, too.
By: Rachel Mork

Friday, August 24, 2012

3 Simple Ways Gratitude Can Change Your Life – It Works!

What is the single biggest roadblock to your dreams?
Is fear of the unknown, fear of losing control, or fear of making the wrong decision keeping you from the life you’ve been longing to live? Is your confidence being sucked dry by your fears?

I have the perfect antidote – gratitude.

The power of gratitude is unrivaled by any other emotion, even love. In gratitude there can be no fear. If you don’t believe me, the next time you are afraid or worrying about the future, stop and be grateful for anything, then notice what happens.
Just by thinking the words “I’m grateful for…” can change your entire outlook on life in that moment.

Do you allow your fears to overcome you, forcing you into the fetal position, distracting you from the power of truth that lies deep within your soul? Of course, if you were being attacked by a band of murderous thieves, gratitude most likely won’t save your life. But the real question is much more simple…are the fears holding you back the “save my life” kinds of fears?
Then why do you continue to allow them to rape your confidence, and steal your hopes, dreams and aspirations of who you want to be?

#1: The Power of Gratitude Doesn’t Equal The Value Of The Subject
The little things really do matter and they can be your building blocks to unwavering confidence. You can be grateful for big things like your health or a roof over your head. But you can also be grateful for a new episode of your favorite TV show or even ice cream in the refrigerator.
It doesn’t matter what you are grateful for, the effect is the same – you feel lighter, are more present and usually gain perspective on the fear that is trying to gain control of you. It’s the frequency level of gratitude itself, not the perceived importance of the object that makes the power shifts in your heart, mind, body and soul.  Sometimes just being aware how blessed you are to have the sight to see a bird fly can inspire a moment of gratitude.

#2: The Power of Gratitude Is Your Key To Success
John A Walsh, Senior EVP of ESPN recently told me, “The key to success is fearlessness combined with a commitment to being open to learning new things.”
While fear can be the catalyst for anger, it can also be a mechanism for massive transformation, as long as you are aware of it and learn to control it. One of the ways to be fearless is to be in a constant state of gratitude for everything that comes your way. See every roadblock as your friend – as if they are the universe’s way of helping you stop, regroup, get focused and centered.
Gratitude is the key to making this happen effortlessly. By managing your fears, you can move into a state of fearlessness and confidence to be open to new ideas and opportunities that come your way. Wait until you get really good at this and start taunting life to “bring it on”, because you are confident there is nothing you can’t handle and know on the other side of every great challenge is a huge space for celebrating.

#3: Gratitude Is Contagious
Just one dose of gratitude and your dance partners, “Ms. Worry Wart” and “Mr. What If”, fade into wimpy wall flowers. (Good riddance – they are the worst dance partners you could pick on the planet to ask to polka.)

Start tapping your toes to the tune of the three G’s: Gratitude, Grace and Giving.
Start each day and end each night with three affirmations of gratitude. Show grace to the people you love by being grateful for them, especially in moments when all you really want is for them to grovel for your forgiveness. Be grateful people in your life care enough about your opinion to argue with you by remembering the opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.
It’s in your most stressful moments you should find ways to tap into gratitude not griping.
Believe every situation, person, and perceived slap in the face is there to serve YOU
Being grateful in times of duress isn’t always easy, until you see “it works.” Trust me, there are very few “push buttons” in life, but in this case, if you do nothing else today, find gratitude.
Try giving gift of gratitude to others and watch as it comes back tenfold. The light inside of you is dying to shine so glow with gratitude – gifting you and those around you into magical moments of greatness.

By. Lori Taylor

How to Find Inner Peace and Balance.

Inner peace and balance are of great importance in everyone's life. They are highly valued by most people, though really few possess them. However, everyone can develop them, some more, and some less.
What do you gain by having inner peace and inner balance? You gain self-control, more discipline, and the ability not to let outside events influence your emotions, actions, reactions and decisions. Their presence in your life mean that you possess common sense and good judgment, and that the outside world cannot shake your inner world.
  • How many times have you been overwhelmed by emotions, lost your temper, and got angry or impatient?
  • How many times have you regretted about your reactions or attitude?
  • Do you shout at your children, spouse, co-workers or employees?
    Do you get angry with them?
    Are you happy with this situation?
  • Do you let your work, the weather, noises, other people's behavior and attitude, movies, TV, or the newspapers influence the way you feel and think?
  • Do outside events distract your mind and make you think about them, instead of what you choose to think about?
All this means lack of inner peace and inner balance.
Their lack causes fluctuations of the emotions, lack of decisiveness, and wasting time on unnecessary thoughts, emotions and actions. So what is the remedy?

Tips for Inner Peace and Balance

1. The moments immediately after awakening are important, as they often influence the mood of the day. These moments have to be used correctly.
After waking up in the morning, instead of thinking about the difficulties or tasks that are awaiting you, smile, and tell yourself what a wonderful day you are going to have. Think about the pleasant things you are going to do or experience, not the about the difficulties. Repeat to yourself several times that today you are going to maintain inner balance, common sense and peace of mind.

2. From the moment you wake up in the morning, until you go to sleep at night, try to maintain some degree of emotional detachment. This does not mean being indifferent or uncaring. It means not reacting immediately to situations, words, emotions or thoughts. It might not be so easy, but if you persevere, you will win. Take a few deep breaths or count to 10 before acting. This will, to some extent, calm you down.

3. If someone tells you something that you don't like, instead of getting insulted or retorting in anger, hold and delay your reaction. I do not mean that you fret and boil inside you, and just remain calm on the outside. This is not healthy. What I mean is that you look at the incident in a broader perspective. Is what the other person saying really important? Why do his or her words mean so much to you? Maybe he or she are right, and it would be wise to heed their words and opinion, instead of reacting in anger?

4. When encountering a problem or a failure, this could be sometimes devastating. At these times, always remember that if you descend into a valley, but keep walking on, sooner or later, you will arrive to a point, where you will start climbing up again. No matter what happens, remember that there is always a way out. After every fall, there is rising up again. This understanding will help you restore your inner peace and balance in these situations.

5. Developing inner strength, and the ability to make the mind quiet, through concentration exercises, meditation and detachment, will take you a long way toward attaining and maintaining a state of inner peace and balance.

    By Remez Sasson

Thursday, August 23, 2012

How to Avoid Negative Thinking.

Unpleasant situations, problems and difficulties arise in everyone’s lives, and these events cause negative thinking. Quite often, you might not be aware of the thoughts you are thinking, and can get easily immersed with negative thoughts and negative moods.
It would be a good strategy to avoid negative thinking. There are various techniques you may use to avoid negative thinking.
Here are a few techniques for avoiding negative thinking:
1. Try to be aware of your thoughts. It is usual to think in an automatic way, hardly aware of what you are thinking. If you strive to become watchful of your thoughts, you will know when you are thinking negatively, and then, the next step, of avoiding them, will become easier.
2. When catching yourself thinking negatively, consciously, try to think of something else, something positive and uplifting.
3. Choose to watch happy and funny movies, instead of movies about disasters and unhappiness.
4. Think often about the goods things you have in your life, and less about the bad things. Look at the filled part of the glass, not at the empty part, even if the empty is greater than the full.
5. Align your thinking with your actions. When doing something, focus on it. When eating, think of eating, when dressing, focus on dressing, and exercising focus on the exercise on your body. In this way, you will not make a place for negative thinking.
6. Sometimes, during the day, visualize yourself doing something you love doing, like being on the beach, being in a beautiful place, or being in the company of people you love. You may think about happy events or success you had recently. All of these thoughts are positive ways to avoid negative thinking.
7. Be aware that sometimes, problems and difficulties are blown out of proportions. Often, they are minor problems and difficulties not worth your time and energy. Having this point of view can help you avoid negative thinking when facing problems or difficulties.
8. If negative thoughts persist, write them down, and analyze them to see if there is any truth in them.
9. Don’t fight your thoughts. If you fight them, they become stronger. A better approach would be detachment.
10. Surround yourself with positive people.
By. Remez Sasson

20 Bad Habits Holding Good People Back.

A change in bad habits leads to a good change in life…
Here are twenty bad habits many of us repeatedly struggle with:
  1. Expecting life to be easy. – Nothing starts easy; everything begins at some level of difficulty.  Even waking up in the morning sometimes requires notable effort.  But one beautiful thing about life is the fact that the most difficult challenges are often the most rewarding and satisfying.
  2. Overlooking your true path and purpose. – What really matters in life is not what we buy, but what we build; not what we have, but what we share with the world; not our capability but our character; and not our success but our true significance.  Live a life that makes you proud – one that matters and makes a difference.  Live a life filled with passion and love.  Read A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose.
  3. Chasing after those who don’t want to be caught. – Do not chase people.  Be you, do your own thing and work hard on your passions.  The right people who belong in your life will eventually come to you, and stay.
  4. Not asking for help when you know you need it. – No matter how far you’ve gone down the wrong road, you can always turn back.  Be STRONG enough to stand alone, SMART enough to know when you need help, and BRAVE enough to ask for it.
  5. Letting one dark cloud cover the entire sky. – Take a deep breath.  It’s just a bad moment, or a bad day, not a bad life.  Everyone has troubles.  Everyone makes mistakes.  The secret of happiness is to count your blessings while others are adding up their troubles.
  6. Holding on to things you need to let go of. – Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things in life that should not be.  Sometimes letting go is what makes us stronger, happier and more successful in the long run.
  7. Spending time with people who make you unhappy. – People can be cruel, and sometimes they will be.  People can hurt you and break your heart, and sometimes they will.  But only YOU can allow them to continuously hurt you.  Value yourself enough to choose to spend time with people who treat you the way you treat them.  Know your worth.  Know when you have had enough.  And move on from the people who keep chipping away at your happiness.
  8. Not making time for those who matter most. – When we take things for granted, these things eventually get taken away.  Too often we don’t realize what we have until it’s gone.  Too often we are too stubborn to say, “I’m sorry, I was wrong.”  Too often it seems we hurt the ones closest to us by letting insignificant issues tear us apart.  Appreciate what you have, who loves you and who cares for you.  You’ll never know how much they mean to you until the day they are no longer beside you.
  9. Denying personal responsibility. – You’re getting almost everything you’re getting right now based on the decisions you have made; and you will continue to receive the same things until you choose differently.  You always have some element of control.  There are always other options.  The choices might not be easy, but they are available.  You will not get a different result until you exercise a choice that forces you to grow by habit, by action, and by change.
  10. Letting everyone else make decisions for you. – Never allow someone or something that adds very little to your life, control so much of it.  You’ve got to stop caring about what everyone else wants for you, and start actually living for yourself.  Let go of the people and things that continuously hold you back and no longer serve you, because you only get one shot at life.
  11. Giving up who YOU are. – Remove yourself from any situation that requires you to give up any one of these three things:  1) Who you are.  2)  What you stand for.  3)  The goals you aspire to achieve.  Read Quitter.
  12. Quitting as soon as things get slightly difficult. – An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward; and such is life.  When life is pulling you back with difficulties, it means it’s going to eventually launch you forward in a positive direction.  So keep focusing, and keep aiming!
  13. Doing too much and pushing too hard, without pausing. – Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never find it, but because they never stop long enough to enjoy it.  Sometimes we are so focused on what we want that we miss the things we need most.
  14. Discrediting yourself for everything you aren’t. – STOP discrediting yourself for everything you aren’t.  START giving yourself credit for everything that you are.
  15. Running from current problems and fears. – Trust me, if everyone threw their problems in a pile for you to see, you would grab yours back.  Tackle your problems and fears swiftly, don’t run away from them.  The best solution is to face them head on no matter how powerful they may seem.  Either you own your problems and fears, or they will ultimately own you.
  16. Constantly mulling over past hardships. – You’ll never see the great things ahead of you if you keep looking at the bad things behind you.  To reach up for the new, you must let go of the old.  You are exactly where you need to be to reach your goals.  Everything you’ve been through was preparation for where you are right now and where you can be tomorrow.
  17. Denying your mistakes. – Remember that most honorable people of all are not those who never make mistakes, but those who admit to them when they do.  And then go on to do their best to make the wrong things right.
  18. Expecting your significant other to be perfect. – Remember that you will never find a PERFECT partner to love you in the exact way you had envisioned, only a person who is willing to love you with all that they are.  Someone who will accept you for who you can and cannot be.  And although they will never be PERFECT, finding a partner like this is even BETTER.  Read The Mastery of Love.
  19. Focusing on the negative. – Positive thinking isn’t about expecting the best thing to happen every time, it’s about accepting that whatever happens is good for this moment, and then making the best of it.  So stay positive, and hold on to what’s truly important.  Let your worries go.  No matter how you look at it, some outcomes just don’t make sense right away.  Choosing to carry on with your goals through this uncertainty is what matters.
  20. Never allowing things to be good enough. – We are human.  We are not perfect.  We are alive.  We try things.  We make mistakes.  We stumble.  We fall.  We get hurt.  We rise again.  We try again.  We keep learning.  We keep growing.  And we are thankful for this priceless opportunity called life.      
               By. Marc Hack

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

40 Ways to let go and feel less pain.

There will never be a time when life is simple. There will always be time to practice accepting that. Every moment is a chance to let go and feel peaceful. Here are 40 ideas to get started:
Let Go Of Frustration with Yourself/Your Life
1. Learn a new skill instead of dwelling on the skills you never mastered.
2. Change your perception—see the root cause as a blessing in disguise.
3. Cry it out. According to Dr. William Frey II, PH.D., biochemist at the Ramset Medical Center in Minneapolis crying away your negative feelings releases harmful chemicals that build up in your body due to stress.
4. Channel your discontent into an immediate positive action—make some calls about new job opportunities, or walk to the community center to volunteer.
5. Use meditation or yoga to bring you into the present moment (instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.)
6. Make a list of your accomplishments—even the small ones— and add to it daily.You’ll have to let go of a little discontentment to make space for this self satisfaction.
7. Visualize a box in your head labeled “Expectations.” Whenever you start dwelling on how things should be or should have been, mentally shelve the thoughts in this box.
8. Engage in a physical activity. Exercise decreases stress hormones and increases endorphins, chemicals that improve your state of mind.
9. Focus all your energy on something you can actually control, instead of dwelling on things you can’t.
10. Express your feelings through a creative outlet, like blogging or painting. Add this to your to-do list and cross it off when you’re done. This will be a visual reminder that you have actively chosen to release these feelings.
Let go of Anger and Bitterness
11. Feel it fully. If you stifle your feelings, they may leak out and affect everyone around you—not just the person who inspired your anger. Before you can let go of any emotion you have to feel it fully.
12. Give yourself a rant window. Let yourself vent for a day before confronting the person who troubled you. This may diffuse the hostility and give you time to plan a rational confrontation.
13. Remind yourself that anger hurts you more than the person who upset you, and visualize it melting away as an act of kindness to yourself.
14. If possible, express your anger to the person who offended youCommunicating how you feel may help you move on. Keep in mind that you can’t control how to offender responds; you can only control how clearly and kindly you express yourself.
15. Take responsibility. Many times when you’re angry, you focus on what someone else did that was wrong—which essentially gives away your power. When you focus on what you could have done better, you often feel empowered and less bitter.
16. Put yourself in the offender’s shoes. We all make mistakes; and odds are you could have easily slipped up just like your husband, father, or friend did. Compassion dissolves anger.
17. Metaphorically throw it away; i.e., jog with a backpack full of tennis balls. After you’ve built up a bit of rush, toss the balls one by one, labeling each as a part of your anger. (You’ll need to retrieve these—litter angers the earth!)
18. Use a stress ball, and express your anger physically and vocally when you use it.Make a scrunched up face or grunt. You may feel silly, but this allows you to actually express what you’re feeling inside.
19. Wear a rubber band on your wrist, and gently flick it when you start obsessing on angry thoughts. This trains your mind to associate that type of persistent negativity with something unpleasant.
20. Remind yourself these are your only three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it. These acts create happiness; holding onto bitterness never does.
Let Go Of Past Relationships
21. Identify what the experience taught you to help develop a sense of closure.
22. Write everything you want to express in a letter. Even if you choose not to send it, clarifying your feelings will help you come to terms with reality as it is now.
23. Remember both the good and the bad. Even if appears this way now, the past was not perfect. Acknowledging this may minimize your sense of loss. As Laura Oliver says, “It’s easier to let go of a human than a hero.”
24. Un-romanticize the way you view love. Of course you’ll feel devastated if you believe you lost your soul mate. If you think you can find a love that amazing or better again it will be easier to move on.
25. Visualize an empowered single you—the person you were before meeting your last love. That person was pretty awesome, and now you have the chance to be him or her again.
26. Create a space that reflects your present reality. Take down his pictures; delete her emails from your saved folder.
27. Reward yourself for small acts of acceptance. Get a facial after you delete his number from your phone, or head out with friends after putting all her things in a box.
28. Hang this statement somewhere you can see it. “Loving myself means letting go.”
29. Replace your emotional thoughts with facts. When you think, “I’ll never feel loved again!” don’t resist that feeling. Instead, move on to another thought, like “I learned a new song for karaoke tonight.”
30. Use the silly voice technique. According to Russ Harris, author of The Happiness Trap, swapping the voice in your head with a cartoon voice will help take back power from the troubling thought.
Let Go Of Stress
31. Use a deep breathing technique, like ujayii, to soothe yourself and seep into the present moment.
32. Immerse yourself in a group activity. Enjoying the people in your life may help put your problems in perspective.
33. Consider this quotation by Eckhart Tolle: “Worry pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose.” Questioning how your stress serves you may help you let it go.
34. Metaphorically release it. Write down all your stresses and toss the paper into your fireplace.
35. Replace your thoughts. Notice when you begin thinking about something that stresses you so you can shift your thought process to something more pleasant—like your passion for your hobby.
36. Take a sauna break. Studies reveal that people who go to sauna at least twice a week for 10-30 minutes are less stressed after work than others with similar jobs who don’t.
37. Imagine your life 10 years from now. Then look 20 years into the future, and then 30. Realize that many of the things you’re worrying about don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.
38. Organize your desk. According to Georgia Witkin, assistant director of psychiatry at Mount Sinai School of Medicine, completing a small task increases your sense of control and decreases your stress level.
39. Use it up. Make two lists: one with the root causes of your stress, and one with actions to address them. As you complete these tasks, visualize yourself utilizing and depleting your “stress supply.”
40. Laugh it out. Research shows that laughter soothes tension, improves your immune system, and even eases pain. If you can’t relax for long, start with just ten minutes watching a funny video on YouTube.
By. Lori Deschene