Wednesday, December 19, 2012

12 Rules for Being a Human Being.

"Don’t try to be perfect.  Just be an excellent example of being human." ~ Tony Robbins
Here are a few things to keep in mind:
  1. Growth requires pain. – Be patient and tough, someday this pain will be useful to you.  Those with the strength to succeed in the long run are the ones who lay a firm foundation of growth with the bricks that life has thrown at them.  So don’t be afraid to fall apart for a little while.  Because when it happens, the situation will open an opportunity for you to grow and rebuild yourself into the brilliant person you are capable of being.
  2. You will learn as long as you live. – There is no stage of life that does not contain new lessons.  As long as you live there will be something more to learn.  And as long as you follow your heart and never stop learning, you’ll turn not older, but newer every day.  Read The Last Lecture.
  3. There is a positive lesson in every life experience. – Don’t forget to acknowledge the lesson, especially when things don’t go your way.  If you make a mistake that sets you back a little, or a business deal or a relationship doesn’t work, it only means a new opportunity is out there waiting.  And the lesson you just learned is the first step towards it.
  4. True beauty lives under the skin. – When you start to really know someone, most of their physical characteristics vanish in your mind.  You begin to dwell in their energy, recognize their scent, and appreciate their wit.  You see only the essence of the person, not the shell.  That’s why you can’t fall in love with physical beauty.  You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, or want to own it.  You can love it with your eyes and your body for a little while, but not your heart in the long-term.  And that’s why, when you really connect with a person’s inner self, most physical imperfections become irrelevant.
  5. Only you know what you’re capable of. – Unless someone can look into the core of your heart, and see the degree of your passion, or look into the depths of your soul and see the extent of your will, then they have no business telling you what you can or cannot achieve.  Because while they may know the odds, they do not know YOU, and what you’re capable of.  That’s something only you know.
  6. Your love creates your happiness. – The happiness you feel is in direct proportion to the love you give.  When you love, you subconsciously strive to become better than you are.  When you strive to become better than you are, everything around you becomes better too.  During your youth, love will be your teacher; in your middle age, love will be your foundation; and in your old age, love will be your fondest memories and your greatest delight.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
  7. You earn respect by being respectful. – Respect isn’t something you can demand or manipulate by saying what you think people want to hear.  You earn respect by listening, acknowledging feelings and treating others with the same respect you hope to get in return.  Treat everyone with kindness and respect, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are.
  8. Negativity poisons the soul. – Don’t let needless drama and negativity stop you from being the best you can be.  Avoid the drama, and focus on what truly matters.  Life is insanely short and your time is precious, so don’t waste your time on trivial matters.  Let go of the things that are weighing you down.  As you unclutter your life, you will slowly free yourself to answer the callings of your inner spirit.
  9. Your health is your life. – Regardless of the size and shape of your body, it is the greatest tool you will ever own.  Without it, you wouldn’t be alive.  How you take care of it or fail to take care of it can make an enormous difference in the quality of your life.  Exercise to be fit, not skinny.  Eat to nourish your body.  To truly be your best, you must give your body the fuel it needs.  Toss the junk and fill your kitchen with fresh, whole foods.  Run, swim, bike, walk – sweat!  Good health is essential for having the energy, stamina and outlook to tackle your goals and dreams.
  10. Letting go is part of moving on to something better. – You will not get what you truly deserve if you’re too attached to the things you’re supposed to let go of.  Sometimes you love, and you struggle, and you learn, and you move on.  And that’s okay.  You must be willing to let go of the life you planned for so you can enjoy the life that is waiting for you.
  11. This moment is a gift. – The truth is, your whole life has been leading up to this moment.  Think about that for a second.  Every single thing you’ve gone through in life, every high, every low, and everything in between, has led you to this moment right now.  This moment is priceless, and it’s the only moment guaranteed to you.  This moment is your ‘life.’  Don’t miss it.  Read Tuesdays with Morrie.
  12. Your choices design your life. – You have a choice each and every single day.  Choose to appreciate what you have.  Choose to make time for yourself.  Choose to do something that makes you smile.  Choose to be excited.  Choose to laugh at your own silliness.  Choose to spend time with positive people.  Choose to be persistent with your goals.  Choose to try again and again.  Within your choices lie all the tools and resources you need to design the life of your dreams, it’s just a matter of choosing wisely.
by. Marc

Friday, December 14, 2012

Three Ways to Embrace Mistakes as Life's Lessons

There are no mistakes in life; only lessons. What this means is that whenever something happens, there is a gem for you to learn from. If you can learn to accept mistakes, shortcomings, and unwanted events as opportunities for learning and personal growth, then you'll feel less stressed and fearful, you'll be more confident and self-assured, and your life experience will be more rewarding and fun.

If you do something incorrectly or wrong, or you do something that makes you feel bad, you may get angry with yourself. Most of us have a habit of beating ourselves up mentally over and over again.
The fact is that when you make a mistake, there is a lesson for you to learn. Mistakes are gifts. They offer you the opportunity to explore an area where perhaps you are deficient, need additional knowledge or training, or need to reevaluate your approach. Perhaps you were rushing. Whatever the reason, if you take the time to explore what happened, you can learn what you need to know to correct the situation and to put systems in place so that this same mistake does not recur.

Some people refuse to accept that they did anything wrong. It was someone else or it was the system. This is known as a victim mentality. They rationalize, deny, make excuses, justify, and blame. These people have not yet learned to accept responsibility for themselves and for their actions.

When you do something wrong or something doesn't quite work out the way you want, there are ways of managing it so that you learn the lesson, move on from it, and grow stronger in the process. By adopting these three approaches to life, you can learn to handle yourself gracefully and deepen your relationships with yourself and with others.

1) Be open to making mistakes

Accept that you're human and that each of us will do things we regret. Each of us will take a wrong turn, hurt someone's feelings, or make bad choices. Be open to making mistakes and embrace them as an opportunity to learn valuable life lessons. They hurt sometimes - a lot of the time. But if you open to learning from your mistakes, you will be able to move on rather than wallowing in regret or disappointment. If you don't learn the lesson, it will repeat itself again and again in different situations until you get it. Experience is a hard teacher.

2) Be aware

In other words, look for areas of improvement. Be on the lookout for "mistakes" or ways to strengthen your character. Be aware of what you are doing, why you are doing it, how you feel, and how you make others feel. This way of thinking is about being proactive and seeking betterment to avoid unnecessary blunders. If you are aware of how your behaviors impact others, then you can determine whether that is enhancing or hurting your relationships.

You are responsible for how you are received by others. This is a matter of emotional intelligence. You must be aware of the impact your words and actions have on others. Sometimes, your words just don't land right or you say something but it is not what you meant to say. People have difficulty expressing what they really mean. By being fully aware of how you impact others, you maintain an open state of learning which allows you to constantly practice being a better person - a better you.

3) Accept full responsibility for yourself and your life

Whatever happens, whenever you make a mistake or you are involved in a misunderstanding, take responsibility. There is always something to be learned or improved even if the other person was wrong too.
Accepting responsibility is liberating. Yes, it's hard to admit you were wrong. But it demonstrates strength, courage, and a commitment to personal excellence. It's respectful. By doing so, you demonstrate that you care about yourself and the other person.

When you accept full responsibility for yourself, you also accept responsibility for making things right. If something was done poorly, then you can fix it. If something was misunderstood, then focus on building greater understanding in your relationships. When you accept responsibility, you demonstrate the highest level of respect for yourself and others. And you learn to make better choices to avoid problems, mistakes, and misunderstandings in the future.

By being open to learning life's lessons from every event, situation, and encounter; by maintaining an awareness of how you are received in relationships with others; and by accepting complete responsibility for yourself; you empower yourself to create richer, more meaningful relationships with others. You also will also develop more self-respect and learn to stop beating yourself up over your mistakes; instead taking responsibility, making things right where necessary, and committing yourself to developing greater integrity and a more mature character.

By Julie Fuimano, Personal & Career Coach

28 Ways to Stop Complicating Your Life.

"Life is not complicated.  We are complicated.  When we stop doing the wrong things and start doing the right things, life is simple."

So starting today…

Stop berating yourself for being a work in progress. – Start embracing it!  Because being a work in progress doesn’t mean you’re not good enough today.  It means you want a better tomorrow, and you wish to love yourself completely, so you can live your life fully.  It means you’re determined to heal your heart, expand your mind and cultivate the gifts you know you’re meant to share. May we all be works in progress forever, and celebrate the fact that we are!

Stop doing immoral things simply because you can. – Start being honest with yourself and everyone else.  Don’t cheat.  Be faithful.  Be kind.  Do the right thing!  It is a less complicated way to live.  Integrity is the essence of everything successful.  When you break the rules of integrity you invite serious complications into your life.  Keep life simple and enjoyable by doing what you know in your heart is right.

Stop meaning what you don’t say. – Start communicating clearly.  Don’t try to read other people’s minds, and don’t make other people try to read yours.  Most problems, big and small, within a family, friendship, or business relationship, start with bad communication.  Someone isn’t being clear.

Stop wasting time and money trying to acquire more of everything. – Start focusing on quality.  High quality is worth more than any quantity, in possessions, friends and experiences.  Truly ‘rich’ people need less to be happy.  Live a comfortable life, not a wasteful one.  Too many people buy things they don’t need with money they don’t have to impress people they don’t know.  Do not spend to impress others.  Do not live life trying to fool yourself into thinking wealth is measured in material objects.  Manage your money wisely so your money does not manage you.

Stop spending time with negative people. – Start spending time with nice people who are smart, driven and like-minded.  Relationships should help you, not hurt you.  Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be.  Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you – people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it.  Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  When you free yourself of negative people, you free yourself to be YOU – and being YOU is the simplest way to live.

Stop trying to change people. – Start accepting people just the way they are.  In most cases it’s impossible to change them anyway, and it’s rude to try.  So save yourself from needless stress.  Instead of trying to change others, give them your support and lead by example.

Stop being lazy and cutting corners. – Start avoiding future headaches by doing things right the first time.  Always put your best foot forward.  Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.  Why give less than 100%?  Life is too short to waste it by living below your full potential.  If something is worth doing, then it’s worth doing well.

Stop procrastinating. – Start taking action and making changes.  Action and change are often resisted when they’re needed most.  Get a hold of yourself and have discipline.  Discipline is choosing what you really want over what you want right now.  Putting something off makes it instantly harder and scarier.  What we don’t start today won’t be finished by tomorrow.  And there’s nothing more stressful than the perpetual lingering of an unfinished task.

Stop worrying and complaining. – Start focusing on the things you can control and do something about them.  Those who complain the most accomplish the least.  And when you spend time worrying, you’re simply using your imagination to create things you don’t want.  It’s usually only as good or bad as you think it is.

Stop being dramatic. – Start spending less time gossiping about problems and more time helping yourself and others solve them.  Stay out of people’s needless drama and don’t create your own.
Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Start focusing on being everything to someone.  Helping or pleasing everyone is impossible.  But making one person smile can change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus and be yourself.

Stop making promises you can’t keep. – Starting under-promising and over-delivering on everything you do.  Period.

Stop blaming others. – Start accepting responsibility for everything in your life.  Blaming others accomplishes nothing and prolongs the complications you’re facing.  Either you own your problems, or they will own you.  Your choice.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give up your power over that part of your life.

Stop reacting without a plan. – Start planning and working toward specific goals.  Make a list of your top 3 - 5 goals.  What’s most important to you?  What do you value most?  What 3 - 5 things do you most want to do in your life?  Simplifying your life starts with these priorities, as you are trying to make room in your life so you have more time for these things.  Having a plan, even a flawed one at first, is better than no plan at all.  There is good reason why you should wake each morning and mindfully consider what and who you will give your day to: Because unlike other things in life – love, money, respect, good health, hope, opportunities, etc. – time is the one thing you can never get back once it’s gone.

Stop confusing ‘being busy’ with ‘being productive.’ – Start tracking and measuring your progress.  Being busy and being productive are two very different things.  Results are more important than the time it takes to achieve them.

Stop over-committing and trying to do too much at once. – Start saying “no” more often.  If you never say “no,” you will take on too much and get nothing accomplished.  In the beginning, you need to say “yes” to a lot of things to discover and establish your goals.  Later on, you need to say “no” to a lot of things and concentrate on your goals.  Once your goals are established, focus on doing one thing at a time and doing it well.  Also, leave space around commitments in your day.  Whether you have appointments, or things you need to do, don’t stack them back-to-back.  Leave a little space between things you need to do, so you will have room for contingencies, and you’ll go through your day much more relaxed.

Stop being inefficient simply because you have always done it that way. – Start opening your mind to making positive changes.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Many times we live with unplanned, complex systems in our lives simply because we haven’t given them much thought.  Instead, streamline your life by finding better ways of handling common tasks.  Focus on one system at a time (your cleaning system, your errands system, your paperwork system, your email system, etc.) and try to make it simplified, efficient, and logical.  Then, once you have it perfected, stick to it.  Read Getting Things Done and The Power of Less.

Stop cluttering your space. – Start clearing clutter.  Get rid of stuff you don’t use and then organize what’s left.  If you have a cluttered living or working space, it can be distracting and stressful.  A clear space is like a blank canvas, available to be used to create something great.  Getting truly organized and clutter-free can vastly improve anyone’s life.

Stop overloading your mind by consuming useless information. – Start unsubscribing from useless e-lists and news feeds, and keep the TV off.  Limit your time on Facebook, Twitter, and your other favorite websites, etc.

Stop obsessing over the past and future. – Start being present. Paying more attention to the current moment can make a huge difference in simplifying your life.  It keeps you aware of life, of what’s going on around you and within you.  It does wonders for your sanity and stress levels.

Stop waiting for things to be perfect. – Start thinking of how many things don’t get done in this world simply because people are waiting for the perfect time, place and circumstance.  If you’re waiting for the perfect conditions, ideas or plans to get started, you’ll never achieve anything.  A good idea without action is nothing at all.  Keep it simple and just start.  Focus on the next positive step forward.
Stop focusing so much energy on trying to avoid mistakes. – Start learning from your mistakes, then smile and move on.  No matter how smart you are, you will make mistakes.  Trying to avoid them will only waste time and complicate your life.  There is a lesson in every mistake you make, and learning the lesson is how you move forward.

Stop making emotional decisions.Start taking a few steps back so you can think things through.  When you’re caught up in the moment and your emotions are soaring, you’re bound to make poor decisions that will lead to needless complications.  The best advice here is simple:  Don’t let your emotions trump your intelligence.  Slow down and think things through before you make any big decisions.

Stop being unhealthy. – Start taking care of your body.  Start sleeping eight hours every night.  A tired, malnourished mind is over-stressed and rarely productive.  Your health is your life, don’t let it go.  Eat right, exercise and get an annual physical check-up.  The The 4-Hour Body is an insightful and entertaining read on this topic.

Stop holding on to intimate relationships that make you unhappy. – Start looking out for yourself when it comes to intimate relationships.  It’s better to WAIT, and give your hand to someone who will never let go, rather than holding on to the outside of a hand that has never fully opened for you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  Remember, anyone can come into your life and say how much they love you.  But it takes someone really special to stay in your life and show you how much they love you.  So slow it down.  True love is worth the wait.

Stop holding on to hate. – Start letting hate go!  Keep your sights set on the future.  Holding on to hate and anger is like grasping hot coals with the intent of throwing them at someone else – you are the one who gets burned.  If you want to forget someone, and move on, you must give up hating them.  It’s hard to forget someone you hate, because hate takes pieces of your heart – thereby keeping this person within your heart.  If you want to forget them, let go of the hate, and create peace in your heart instead.  Also, remember that whenever you hate something, it usually hates you back: people, situations, and inanimate objects alike; which will only further complicate your life.

Stop pretending like you know everything. – Start accepting the fact that there’s a lot you don’t know.  Nobody has it all figured out.  Nobody knows more than a minuscule fraction of what’s going on in the world.  Why?  Because the world is simply way too vast for any one person to know everything well.  And most of what we see is only what we think about what we see.  The sooner you accept this, the sooner you will stop making the same unnecessary mistakes, and the sooner new doors of opportunity will open in your life.

Stop giving what you don’t want to receive. – Start practicing the golden rule.  If you want love, give love.  If you want friends, be friendly.  If you want money, provide value.  It works.  It really is this simple.

By. Marc

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Negative Energy - How To Avoid It!

Where does negative energy come from? Some of it is from the other people we spend time with. Don't we all know people who just suck away our energy? However, it also comes from our own thinking habits. Here are some examples of both sources of negativity and what you can do about them.
Negative Energy People
Perhaps you have a friend who needs to challenge everything you say. Some people you know may point out the negative aspects of everything. Then there are those who are just plain depressed and who seem to want the world to join them.
What can you do about these "negative energy people"? First recognize that it isn't always just that person. It is often the way you interact with that person. For example, a critical person can be a useful person if critical analysis is what you need at that moment. However, such a person may drain your energy if you waste your time defending yourself from their petty and unnecessary comments. Ignore them or ask the person to stop!
There are other ways to change the negative energy between you and another. One way is to talk about something you both have a common interest in. This can dissolve the negativity, unless it is a very depressing topic. Another simple technique is to ask negative people for some good news. Get them to tell you about anything that is going well in their lives. It's hard to maintain negative feelings when talking about something good. This one really does work most of the time.
If the above ways don't work, or if the person is just always depressing, the solution is simple, but not necessarily easy - spend less time with that person. You have to spend some time with unpleasant people, of course. They could even be people you love. However, you have no obligation to take part in their negative thinking, and you can reduce your exposure.
Negative Energy From Our Thinking
At times, don't we all produce our own share of negative energy? It comes from primarily one place - our thoughts. You may have heard the saying, "change your thinking, change your life." Don't believe it? Start to imagine all the things you need to do and all the things that could go wrong in your future, and see if you aren't feeling more stressed. The lesson here is obvious: Drop your negative thinking.
It is a simple, but not always an easy solution. Start by watching your mind. When does it indulge in negativity, and what triggers it? What can you change to trigger it less or discourage it? You don't want to ignore problems that you need to pay attention to, but how often do you do the same five minutes of thinking about a problem fifty times over? Just do what you need to do and drop it!
The flip side of negative thoughts is positive ones. This doesn't mean you need to be overly optimistic. You can change your state of mind by simply recognizing of all the good things you already have in your life. Continually thinking about the advantages you have, the good things about your character, and the wonderful things you have seen and are seeing, makes it difficult to feel very negative.
Start doing what you have to. For example, if it's difficult for you to remember to think positively, write a list of the things you are grateful for. Then put it in your pocket and pull it out and read it from time to time. Maybe you can experiment with affirmations. Start watching for things that are going right in your life and pay attention to those. Positive and negative energy come from where you aim your mind. Why not choose better places?
By Steven Gillman