28 Ways to Stop Complicating Your Life.

"Life is not complicated.  We are complicated.  When we stop doing the wrong things and start doing the right things, life is simple."

So starting today…

Stop berating yourself for being a work in progress. – Start embracing it!  Because being a work in progress doesn’t mean you’re not good enough today.  It means you want a better tomorrow, and you wish to love yourself completely, so you can live your life fully.  It means you’re determined to heal your heart, expand your mind and cultivate the gifts you know you’re meant to share. May we all be works in progress forever, and celebrate the fact that we are!

Stop doing immoral things simply because you can. – Start being honest with yourself and everyone else.  Don’t cheat.  Be faithful.  Be kind.  Do the right thing!  It is a less complicated way to live.  Integrity is the essence of everything successful.  When you break the rules of integrity you invite serious complications into your life.  Keep life simple and enjoyable by doing what you know in your heart is right.

Stop meaning what you don’t say. – Start communicating clearly.  Don’t try to read other people’s minds, and don’t make other people try to read yours.  Most problems, big and small, within a family, friendship, or business relationship, start with bad communication.  Someone isn’t being clear.

Stop wasting time and money trying to acquire more of everything. – Start focusing on quality.  High quality is worth more than any quantity, in possessions, friends and experiences.  Truly ‘rich’ people need less to be happy.  Live a comfortable life, not a wasteful one.  Too many people buy things they don’t need with money they don’t have to impress people they don’t know.  Do not spend to impress others.  Do not live life trying to fool yourself into thinking wealth is measured in material objects.  Manage your money wisely so your money does not manage you.

Stop spending time with negative people. – Start spending time with nice people who are smart, driven and like-minded.  Relationships should help you, not hurt you.  Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be.  Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you – people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it.  Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  When you free yourself of negative people, you free yourself to be YOU – and being YOU is the simplest way to live.

Stop trying to change people. – Start accepting people just the way they are.  In most cases it’s impossible to change them anyway, and it’s rude to try.  So save yourself from needless stress.  Instead of trying to change others, give them your support and lead by example.

Stop being lazy and cutting corners. – Start avoiding future headaches by doing things right the first time.  Always put your best foot forward.  Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.  Why give less than 100%?  Life is too short to waste it by living below your full potential.  If something is worth doing, then it’s worth doing well.

Stop procrastinating. – Start taking action and making changes.  Action and change are often resisted when they’re needed most.  Get a hold of yourself and have discipline.  Discipline is choosing what you really want over what you want right now.  Putting something off makes it instantly harder and scarier.  What we don’t start today won’t be finished by tomorrow.  And there’s nothing more stressful than the perpetual lingering of an unfinished task.

Stop worrying and complaining. – Start focusing on the things you can control and do something about them.  Those who complain the most accomplish the least.  And when you spend time worrying, you’re simply using your imagination to create things you don’t want.  It’s usually only as good or bad as you think it is.

Stop being dramatic. – Start spending less time gossiping about problems and more time helping yourself and others solve them.  Stay out of people’s needless drama and don’t create your own.
Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Start focusing on being everything to someone.  Helping or pleasing everyone is impossible.  But making one person smile can change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus and be yourself.

Stop making promises you can’t keep. – Starting under-promising and over-delivering on everything you do.  Period.

Stop blaming others. – Start accepting responsibility for everything in your life.  Blaming others accomplishes nothing and prolongs the complications you’re facing.  Either you own your problems, or they will own you.  Your choice.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give up your power over that part of your life.

Stop reacting without a plan. – Start planning and working toward specific goals.  Make a list of your top 3 - 5 goals.  What’s most important to you?  What do you value most?  What 3 - 5 things do you most want to do in your life?  Simplifying your life starts with these priorities, as you are trying to make room in your life so you have more time for these things.  Having a plan, even a flawed one at first, is better than no plan at all.  There is good reason why you should wake each morning and mindfully consider what and who you will give your day to: Because unlike other things in life – love, money, respect, good health, hope, opportunities, etc. – time is the one thing you can never get back once it’s gone.

Stop confusing ‘being busy’ with ‘being productive.’ – Start tracking and measuring your progress.  Being busy and being productive are two very different things.  Results are more important than the time it takes to achieve them.

Stop over-committing and trying to do too much at once. – Start saying “no” more often.  If you never say “no,” you will take on too much and get nothing accomplished.  In the beginning, you need to say “yes” to a lot of things to discover and establish your goals.  Later on, you need to say “no” to a lot of things and concentrate on your goals.  Once your goals are established, focus on doing one thing at a time and doing it well.  Also, leave space around commitments in your day.  Whether you have appointments, or things you need to do, don’t stack them back-to-back.  Leave a little space between things you need to do, so you will have room for contingencies, and you’ll go through your day much more relaxed.

Stop being inefficient simply because you have always done it that way. – Start opening your mind to making positive changes.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Many times we live with unplanned, complex systems in our lives simply because we haven’t given them much thought.  Instead, streamline your life by finding better ways of handling common tasks.  Focus on one system at a time (your cleaning system, your errands system, your paperwork system, your email system, etc.) and try to make it simplified, efficient, and logical.  Then, once you have it perfected, stick to it.  Read Getting Things Done and The Power of Less.

Stop cluttering your space. – Start clearing clutter.  Get rid of stuff you don’t use and then organize what’s left.  If you have a cluttered living or working space, it can be distracting and stressful.  A clear space is like a blank canvas, available to be used to create something great.  Getting truly organized and clutter-free can vastly improve anyone’s life.

Stop overloading your mind by consuming useless information. – Start unsubscribing from useless e-lists and news feeds, and keep the TV off.  Limit your time on Facebook, Twitter, CNN.com and your other favorite websites, etc.

Stop obsessing over the past and future. – Start being present. Paying more attention to the current moment can make a huge difference in simplifying your life.  It keeps you aware of life, of what’s going on around you and within you.  It does wonders for your sanity and stress levels.

Stop waiting for things to be perfect. – Start thinking of how many things don’t get done in this world simply because people are waiting for the perfect time, place and circumstance.  If you’re waiting for the perfect conditions, ideas or plans to get started, you’ll never achieve anything.  A good idea without action is nothing at all.  Keep it simple and just start.  Focus on the next positive step forward.
Stop focusing so much energy on trying to avoid mistakes. – Start learning from your mistakes, then smile and move on.  No matter how smart you are, you will make mistakes.  Trying to avoid them will only waste time and complicate your life.  There is a lesson in every mistake you make, and learning the lesson is how you move forward.

Stop making emotional decisions. – Start taking a few steps back so you can think things through.  When you’re caught up in the moment and your emotions are soaring, you’re bound to make poor decisions that will lead to needless complications.  The best advice here is simple:  Don’t let your emotions trump your intelligence.  Slow down and think things through before you make any big decisions.

Stop being unhealthy. – Start taking care of your body.  Start sleeping eight hours every night.  A tired, malnourished mind is over-stressed and rarely productive.  Your health is your life, don’t let it go.  Eat right, exercise and get an annual physical check-up.  The The 4-Hour Body is an insightful and entertaining read on this topic.

Stop holding on to intimate relationships that make you unhappy. – Start looking out for yourself when it comes to intimate relationships.  It’s better to WAIT, and give your hand to someone who will never let go, rather than holding on to the outside of a hand that has never fully opened for you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  Remember, anyone can come into your life and say how much they love you.  But it takes someone really special to stay in your life and show you how much they love you.  So slow it down.  True love is worth the wait.

Stop holding on to hate. – Start letting hate go!  Keep your sights set on the future.  Holding on to hate and anger is like grasping hot coals with the intent of throwing them at someone else – you are the one who gets burned.  If you want to forget someone, and move on, you must give up hating them.  It’s hard to forget someone you hate, because hate takes pieces of your heart – thereby keeping this person within your heart.  If you want to forget them, let go of the hate, and create peace in your heart instead.  Also, remember that whenever you hate something, it usually hates you back: people, situations, and inanimate objects alike; which will only further complicate your life.

Stop pretending like you know everything. – Start accepting the fact that there’s a lot you don’t know.  Nobody has it all figured out.  Nobody knows more than a minuscule fraction of what’s going on in the world.  Why?  Because the world is simply way too vast for any one person to know everything well.  And most of what we see is only what we think about what we see.  The sooner you accept this, the sooner you will stop making the same unnecessary mistakes, and the sooner new doors of opportunity will open in your life.

Stop giving what you don’t want to receive. – Start practicing the golden rule.  If you want love, give love.  If you want friends, be friendly.  If you want money, provide value.  It works.  It really is this simple.

By. Marc

Negative Energy - How To Avoid It!

Where does negative energy come from? Some of it is from the other people we spend time with. Don't we all know people who just suck away our energy? However, it also comes from our own thinking habits. Here are some examples of both sources of negativity and what you can do about them.

Negative Energy People

Perhaps you have a friend who needs to challenge everything you say. Some people you know may point out the negative aspects of everything. Then there are those who are just plain depressed and who seem to want the world to join them.

What can you do about these "negative energy people"? First recognize that it isn't always just that person. It is often the way you interact with that person. For example, a critical person can be a useful person if critical analysis is what you need at that moment. However, such a person may drain your energy if you waste your time defending yourself from their petty and unnecessary comments. Ignore them or ask the person to stop!

There are other ways to change the negative energy between you and another. One way is to talk about something you both have a common interest in. This can dissolve the negativity, unless it is a very depressing topic. Another simple technique is to ask negative people for some good news. Get them to tell you about anything that is going well in their lives. It's hard to maintain negative feelings when talking about something good. This one really does work most of the time.

If the above ways don't work, or if the person is just always depressing, the solution is simple, but not necessarily easy - spend less time with that person. You have to spend some time with unpleasant people, of course. They could even be people you love. However, you have no obligation to take part in their negative thinking, and you can reduce your exposure.

Negative Energy From Our Thinking

At times, don't we all produce our own share of negative energy? It comes from primarily one place - our thoughts. You may have heard the saying, "change your thinking, change your life." Don't believe it? Start to imagine all the things you need to do and all the things that could go wrong in your future, and see if you aren't feeling more stressed. The lesson here is obvious: Drop your negative thinking.

It is a simple, but not always an easy solution. Start by watching your mind. When does it indulge in negativity, and what triggers it? What can you change to trigger it less or discourage it? You don't want to ignore problems that you need to pay attention to, but how often do you do the same five minutes of thinking about a problem fifty times over? Just do what you need to do and drop it!

The flip side of negative thoughts is positive ones. This doesn't mean you need to be overly optimistic. You can change your state of mind by simply recognizing of all the good things you already have in your life. Continually thinking about the advantages you have, the good things about your character, and the wonderful things you have seen and are seeing, makes it difficult to feel very negative.

Start doing what you have to. For example, if it's difficult for you to remember to think positively, write a list of the things you are grateful for. Then put it in your pocket and pull it out and read it from time to time. Maybe you can experiment with affirmations. Start watching for things that are going right in your life and pay attention to those. Positive and negative energy come from where you aim your mind. Why not choose better places?

By Steven Gillman

10 Feel Good Thoughts for a Bad Day.

Sometimes I catch myself staring at the people around me – studying their mannerisms and expressions.  I wonder, “What is their story?  What are they searching for?  What makes their heart beat with happiness, with sorrow, with fear, with longing?”  And then I ask myself, “What words might I post on this blog to inspire them, and to remind them that, even on the toughest of days, our hearts all beat for these same things?”

Today I figured I’d share some of these words with you…

1. We are all in this together. – Nobody has it easy, we all have issues.  When you look at a person, any person, remember that everyone has a story.  Everyone has gone through something that has changed them, and forced them to grow.  Every passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours.  You will never know exactly what they are going through, and they will never know exactly what you are going through.  We are all fighting our own unique war.  But we are fighting through it simultaneously, together.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
2. You aren’t supposed to be perfect. – Live life.  Experience everything.  Take care of yourself and those closest to you.  Have fun – be a little crazy and weird.  Go out and make mistakes – you’re going to anyway.  Enjoy yourself, and exploit the countless opportunities to learn something along the way.  Figure out what works and what doesn’t.  Don’t try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human and being YOU.
3. There are reasons to smile all around you. – A teenage girl blushed when I caught her playfully tickling her boyfriend as he looked for a book in the library – I smiled.  A middle aged man got down on his knees and lovingly scratched his dog behind the ears as they waited to cross the street – I smiled.  A little girl skipped in bright white shoes that were obviously new, happily kicking her feet far out in front of her to admire them – I smiled.  On days when you don’t have much in your life to smile about, watch those who do and you’ll smile too.
4. Tough times help us grow. – We work hard to disown the parts of our lives that were painful, difficult, or sad.  But just as we can’t rip chapters out of a book and expect the story to still make sense, so we cannot rip past chapters out of our lives and expect our lives to still make sense.  Keep every chapter of your life intact, and keep on turning the pages.  Sooner or later you’ll get to a page that brings it all together and you’ll suddenly understand why every page and chapter before it was needed.
5. Repetition is not failure. – In those frustrating moments when you find yourself standing face to face with an issue you battled before – one bearing a lesson you were sure you’d already learned – remember, repetition is not failure.  Ask the waves, ask the leaves, ask the wind. Repetition is sometimes required to evolve and grow.
6. No matter what, you have a purpose. – Having a bad day?  It’s okay.  Put your hand on your heart.  Feel that?  That’s called ‘purpose.’  You’re alive for a reason.  Don’t give up.  You may lose the people you love.  You may lose the things you have.  But no matter happens, never lose yourself.  Read A New Earth.
7. Being true to yourself is always the best option. – Being true to yourself is way better than being a liar just to impress everyone else.  Don’t change so people will like you.  You may not live up to everyone’s standards, but there are people out there who will love you just the way you are.  And besides, people will judge you regardless, so you might as well be yourself when they do.
8. You don’t always have to be happy and cheerful. – Sometimes you have to deal with issues and show others your uncomfortable side.  It’s perfectly okay – it’s a natural part of being human.  And the good news is that these tough moments will often show you who will accept you at your worst and who won’t.
9. Right now is a fresh start. – Talk about your blessings more than you talk about your problems.  It’s a bright new day – a new beginning.  Your future is too bright to waste it fighting needless battles with old issues from the past.  Read The Power of Now.
10. It’s okay to let some things go. – You need to understand that none of us are playing with marked cards; sometimes we win and sometimes we lose – life always finds its balance.  Don’t expect to get back everything you give, don’t expect recognition for all your efforts, and don’t expect your genius to be instantly discovered or your love to be understood by everyone.  As you live and experience things, you must recognize what works and what doesn’t, what belongs and what doesn’t, and then let things go when you know you should.  Not out of pride, inability, or arrogance, but simply because not everything is supposed to fit into your life.  Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get rid of the dust.  Stop being who you were so you can become who you are.

By. Marc 

Positive Affirmations and Their Benefits.

Often, most people are unaware of their own strengths and weaknesses, even when prompted. When coupled with negative phrases that you often use, e.g. "I can be such an idiot!", which whilst meant to have a positive effect can actually result in negative consequences. The extent of the message and resultant programming into your subconscious can be extremely harmful! What separates people are their attitudes about themselves, and this is where positive affirmations come into play.

Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations are statements that assert the existence or truth of something positive. This can be done as your subconscious is told that the truth exists, and the realization of this truth is favorable to your personal wellness. Positive affirmations are also known as a form of auto-suggestion, or self hypnosis.

Positive affirmations are a very powerful tool used to change how each individual thinks and feels about themselves, which translates into his attitude and actions when facing others. Positive affirmations work for everyone, as its very nature merely amplifies what already is in our minds. This can be our attitudes, our thought processes, and everything else that runs across your mind. With constant use of positive affirmations, you will be able to reprogram your internal subconscious mind, changing the negatives into the positives.

A good way to remain positive is by constantly conditioning the thoughts that are in your mind. The effectiveness of positive affirmations lies in that it needs to be transformed into action. What makes it work is your confidence in it working. Similar to a self-fulfilling prophecy, if you continually repeat it to yourself, the subconscious mind will make it become the truth. The best way to go about doing so is by continuously sowing positive thoughts and nurturing them.

Benefits of Positive Affirmations

The main benefit of positive affirmations is that it can be applied to any and every aspect of your life that you wish to improve. This can be with regards to your career, health, relationships or finances.

There are other benefits to utilizing positive affirmations for the subconscious mind. People who constantly affirm their minds with positive words and thoughts have stronger and more active muscles. On the other hand, if you give free reign to negative thoughts you will find yourself often feeling tired.

Positive affirmation also has an impact on your energy level, and a cheerful individual is usually one with many positive thoughts and programming. Hence, experts have advised that it is beneficial to start every day with positive thoughts and words, which will act as a multiplier on the other aspects of your life.

Lastly, positive affirmation allows you to fulfill your capabilities, strengths and talents. By constant repetition, you will eliminate the feelings of doubt and insecurity that bother you, making it easier to achieve a positive end result!

By. Greg Frost

Mastering The Art of a Worry-Free Life.

Here are 6 ways to embrace the Art of a Worry-Free Life:

• Step 1: Accept That Worry Doesn't Help
  
  

  “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.” - Mark Twain

  
  I wouldn’t object to worrying if it was more practical in improving our lives. But, the fact is, worrying won’t pay the rent or stop an aneurism from exploding in our brain. And I’ve never seen a hurricane that could be stopped by a few hours of nail biting.
  
  Worrying does nothing to help us deal with what we’re anxious about. It doesn’t make us more creative, smarter, engaging, or productive. Go ahead, worry 24 hours a day, 52 weeks a year…and see for yourself if one second of that worrying does anything to make your life better. And while seeing through this illusion of worry won’t immediately put you into a Zen-like state of bliss, it will hopefully give you more energy, while freeing up your mind long enough to see practical solutions to your problems. It will hopefully lead you to action.
• 
  
• Step 2: Stay In The Moment
  
  

  “Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.” - Author Unknown

  
  The problem with worry is that it exists almost entirely in the past and the future.
  We spend so much time and energy worrying about what has already happened, or what we think might happen in the future, that we have no time for today. This not only keeps our worries spinning alive, but weakens us, kills our spirit, and robs us of joy.
  
  Staying in the moment —living in the now— is at the heart of any worry free program. Volumes have been written on the subject and, to be honest, you could spend a lifetime mastering it. Here is what you can do right now to get started:
• Engage in activities that keep you in the moment. Deep breathing exercises work, as will yoga, meditation, gardening, reading, running, swimming; a walk in the woods, a bike ride at the beach. Nature helps, so does humor, volunteering, and doing virtually anything you’re passionate about.
• 
  
• Surround yourself with people who live in present moment awareness. Children are good for this, so are older people, outdoor types, athletes and creatives. With a little effort, you’ll find your own role models. Spend enough time with them and it’ll rub off. Note to your new self: At first these people might get on your nerves. That’s your worried, uncomfortable self cringing at the idea of letting go. Stay with it.
• 
  
Catch yourself living in the past or the future as often as you can. Notice regret as it pops up, or guilt, or longing. Recognize when you start thinking about what might or might not happen tomorrow. Catch all these “past and future” moments, then bring yourself back to the moment you’re living in.                                

Step 3: Stop Looking For Bad Things To Worry About

• “He that seeks trouble always finds it.” - English Proverb

  
  Turn off the news, switch off talk radio, stop reading newspapers, and avoid all conversations with people who only want to talk about how screwed up the world is. You know who they are.
  
  The more you think, talk, or obsess about something, the faster you’ll bring more of it into your life. After all, it’s hard enough to stop worrying about your own problems, let alone have to take on those of the world. Don’t pile on more.
• 
  
• Step 4: Start Looking For Good Things to Be Happy About
  
  

  “He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, 
  but rejoices for those which he has." - Epictetus

  
  It’s a law of the universe that two objects can’t occupy the same place at the same time. This applies to our thoughts as well. It’s not enough to want to rid ourselves of worried thoughts, we need to replace those worries with something positive to think about. In other words, stop focusing on the approaching hurricane and start thinking about the family you’re huddled around with in the basement.
  
  Worry isn’t going to go away easily. We have to fight it with everything we have. And what we have are our children, our spouses and loved ones, sunsets and stars, oceans and mountains; our beating hearts and strong minds; our endless capacity to love, laugh and find joy. It’s called gratitude…and it works.
• 
  
• Step 5: Be Prepared, Then Let Go
  
  

  “Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.” - Herman Hesse

  
  Living a worry-free life doesn’t mean we should pretend our world isn’t filled with challenges. We need to be ready for what comes. And nothing combats worry more than action.
  
  So, wear sunscreen, pay off credit cards, eat more greens, learn fractions, and when that hurricane approaches, board up the windows, stock up on supplies and head to the basement. What we can’t do is tell the hurricane to make a u-turn when it comes to our street. That’s the point we need to let go. It’s called surrender, trust, or the simple knowing that there is something larger than ourselves and the problems we face. All of which leads to our 6th and most important step.
• 
  
• Step 6: Use Worry To Find Meaning In Life
  
  

  “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” - Khalil Gibran

  
  While the previous five steps will take us far in alleviating worry, to achieve lasting relief, we need a shift in perception. We need to re-interpret our worries in light of what they have to teach us. Granted, not everyone will want to do this.
  
  It isn’t easy asking someone to look beyond his or her struggles in search of a greater truth. It’s like asking someone to see the rainbow when they’re stuck in the middle of a storm —easy advice to give, not so easy to take.
  
  Yet, it is the exact step that will bring us peace.
  
  The key is to cultivate this spirit of living before the storm hits. It’s no secret that we all have our stories, our own scars. You have yours. I have mine. They may take different shapes, or arrive at different times in our lives, but nobody is immune from pain, sorrow and challenge. It is only how we write the endings to our stories that are different — how we will each work through, and then learn from our experiences.
  
  And, of course, the best stories —the ones we all remember— are the ones where we come out of a crisis as a different person. The stories where we not only endure, but emerge stronger, happier, and wiser.
  
  It is the hero’s journey. Your journey…and mine.
  
  It is a journey where worry evolves into action, insight, then reinvention; where worry transforms into hope and promise. But, this journey takes choice. A decision has to be made.
  
  What will we do with worry as it creeps into our lives each day? Will we cry foul, play victim, and point fingers? Will we give in and let worry continue to rule our lives? Or will we take action and engage life? Will we reject negativity, seek stillness and embrace gratitude, searching out people who will nourish and make us stronger? Will we choose to meet our worries head on, with the knowingness that our challenges, however difficult they may be, contain the seeds to bring more purpose and meaning into our lives than we could have ever imagined?
  
  Make the right choice —the heroic choice.

By. Bill Apablasa     

6 WAYS TO ELIMINATE FEAR.

#1:  GET OVER THE PAST

Over 99% of the fear you will experience in this lifetime is not from any real imminent danger. The mind loves to re-think about the past you lived and then project them into the present. Train your mind to focus on the present and forget about your past. Stop beating yourself up over something that happened one year ago!

Usually, no real drama lies in the present moment.  Your fear only exists in your thoughts about the future, such as your fear of losing your loved one after he or she had one stroke. That moment is in the past, so now you have the duty to think positive.  Life in your head is conceptualized, analyzed, thought-created reality that leaves you susceptible to all sorts of imagined future fears.

The present moment should be all that exists. In doing so, you are setting youself free from your fear.

#2:  LOOK DEEP INTO YOUR FEAR

Okay, you should look deep into your fear, and by this I mean you should determine what exactly is causing it. Be honest with yourself and let your defence barriers down. What are you most afraid of and why? Chances are, the direct “fear” is not what you’re afraid of at all. You are afraid of the relevant issues surrounding it. If you’re afraid of doing public speaches, you may just be afraid of saying the wrong thing and being laughed at. This, however, does not make you any less of a human being. Examine what makes you afraid and remind yourself that you’re going to be okay.

#3:  GO WITH YOUR FEAR

With fear, you can can either resist it or you can flow with it.  By resisting fear, you’re just strengthening it. By flowing with fear, you’re weakening it and eventually you can ignore it. This is the outcome you want, so remember to “Go with the flow”.

#4:  TRUST YOURSELF

Trusting yourself when you live in fear is very important because it gives you the significance on your life. Some may believe that love erases fear. This is not always the case. Some fears, such as childhood trauma, need to be assisted with through clinical counselling. It allows you to get insight on what is really bothering you and how to go about addressing it.  Trust is the antidote to fear and this trust is simply a trust in life.  You should trust that life is what you need for your highest growth and evolution to occur.  Everything has a reason, as my mother told me. We may not understand it right away, but it’s there. We just need to trust ourselves.

#5: ACT ON YOUR FEAR

Most often, this can be a very dreadful thing. You may not be ready to face your fear. Perhaps, you need to face your fear with someone you trust and is close to you. For example, if you fear of taking the elevator, go with a friend to the elevator and bush the button to open the door. Now, keep the door open and walk out of the elevator. You will have a feeling of complete relief. Next, you and your trusted companion can go to the next stage and take the elevator one floor up. After that, you can try taking the elevator alone. Remember that overcoming a fear takes patience and trust on your part.

#6:  SHIFTING YOUR FOCUS

When you focus on negativity and on your fear, you are attracting more negative energy into your life. Ever notice how positive, confident people attract more people of the like? Fear can’t survive in the high vibration.  Always focus on positive energies and outcomes.  Don’t let fear take your energy away.

Also, you’re disconnecting yourself from what really is the reality when you focus on your fear and what it may do to you. Fear perpetuates the illusion of separation so it makes a situation appear more dramatic than it really is. Re-connect with yourself and surround yourself around positive people. You will see a change and you will approve of it.

Stacy Zahn

The Secret to Not Caring What People Think.

Whether it is becoming plugged into our identity, quitting alcohol or even becoming more confident, our worry of what people think can really affect us. From the jobs we choose, to the people we date and the risks we take, we often limit our actions through fear of criticism or judgment from others.

This is a serious issue, and a problem many people experience, therefore I’ve taken my personal experience and the advice of others to reveal the secrets to not caring what people think.

Why we Care what people Think

First of all, I want to say that sometimes caring what people think is not a bad idea; the part of our mind that produces this fear is often in place to protect us. For example, if we didn’t care what anybody thought then we might go out and kill somebody or run through shopping centers completely naked. These are extreme examples but should help you understand why the mindset is in place.

I’ve spent months trying to understand why we care what people think, and as (surprisingly) usual, the answer is relatively simple and the heart of what this website is about. The reason we care what people think is because we base our identity on their judgments of us, positive or negative. Because we think that part of our identity is how people view us (funny, cool, confident, shy) then we must protect that so that our identity is not affected. "What people say about you is none of your business." - Sean Stephensen

Of course, your identity is not what people think of you, it is just…you. If you are doing something that makes you feel guilty within, then this is something you will have to deal with beforehand.

How to (partially) not Care what People Think

Personally, I don’t think it is possible to completely stop caring what people think of us, and I don’t think that is such a bad thing. We are social creatures and that is how we learn, if we are acting like an idiot and someone notices then informs us, we may realise that we could have been acting more appropriately.

I realise that this is a very important topic to a lot of people – myself included – and therefore I have gone into detail with the following information to ensure that there is enough content to answer most questions and concerns. 

Imagine how different the world would be if we could all push to do the things we want to do, be the people we want to be and live how we want to live. Imagine how different the world would be if we were all plugged in…that is the aim of this business.

1. Stop Over-thinking

Although this is a website about empowering the readers, you are not the most important person in the world, at least not to others. It is probably in the majority of occasions that you think you are being judged where people don’t actually care for the thing you are worrying about. Do you judge every single person that you meet, probably not.

If you do, you might want to sort out that side of your life first as there’s no wonder you care what people think of you. The best way to test it is to push your limits a little, do something that is a bit out of the ordinary for you and see how people react. Chances are that only your “friends” might notice the change and make comments, but a random stranger really won’t care.

2. Put things into perspective

To people that aren’t naturally concerned what others think about them, having an issue with it seems quite strange or even silly. The reason is that when you put ‘issues’ like this under the microscope you can see they are really not worth having. 

You only get ONE chance at life in the physical world and you are going to allow other people’s thoughts make it less enjoyable?

Sounds silly now doesn’t it.

Apart from the fact that life really is too short to worry about things like this, the other aspect is that people’s feelings change. For example, say one moment people insult you for wearing yellow trainers, therefore you think they shouldn’t be worn and that is the last time you wear them. What if this persons opinions change, and they start wearing yellow shoes themselves; is that the only time you’ll put your trainers back on?

I used to know a boy who was bullied for growing his hair long, yet within 6 months, more than half the boys in my year (including those who insulted him) grew theirs as well. People change their minds, so what they judge you on now might not matter in the future. Are you going to wait until something is deemed cool or acceptable to be the person you want to be? Hopefully questions like this help you put things into perspective.

3. Be confident in your actions

Seeing as it’s likely we’ll always have some thought towards the feelings of others, what if we could really eliminate the amount of times it happens? Well, you can. The trick, if you want to call it that, is to simply be more confident in the decisions and actions you are taking.

Have you never seen someone that might be wearing something out of the ordinary or acting different to the surrounding crowd but things just seem normal and they aren’t being judged?

If you are wearing yellow shoes and are clearly uncomfortable in your choice then people are going to target you because they can see that and they probably want to feel good about themselves. However, if you can wear the shoes with pride and confidence, whilst clearly not caring what other people think then you’ll notice the negative reactions to be very small if any.

4. Learn to control your emotions

When you start to try things like pushing your limits or simply being more confident, you will undoubtedly have mixed emotions in your head. From stress, worry and fear, to relief and happiness, it can be a bit of a mind roller coaster; that is where controlling your emotions comes in.

The simple practice I learned from Eckhart Tolle goes a bit like this:

• Be conscious of an emotion inside you i.e. fear or worry
• Observe it within your mind
• Notice that if you are observing it, it can’t be a part of you
• Watch the emotion disappear

As soon as you observe an emotion, you are separating yourself from it and thus it can no longer exist.

5. Accept yourself for who you are

If you are constantly judging yourself then there will be no doubt to the fact that you’ll judge what other people think of you. The main cause for this is often self-limiting beliefs or society has made you think there is something wrong with you. Understandably, accepting yourself is not the easiest thing to do but there are things that help.

First of all, think of all the things that you don’t like about yourself and write them down. Now, look at them more closely and see if there is a possibility to change them. For example, if you are thin and don’t like that, then look at ways in which you can gain weight and bulk up. However, If you wish you were taller, it’s not exactly something you can change. For this, look at what could be worse, for example if you are 5″ 7′ and really don’t like that, just think that at least you are not 8″ 7′ or even 5″. You might not be at your perfectly desired height but there are people “worse off”.

These things are more of a temporary solution, as if you constantly look towards helping yourself by seeing people who are worse off or looking to change yourself, you can never accept you. As time goes by and you realise how unimportant the things you thought were, actually aren't and things get easier and your level of caring will plummet rapidly.

Glen Allsop

The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People.

Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand?  If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!
The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places!  Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.
1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.
Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go of negative forces in their lives.  Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe to The Relationship Prayer which goes:

 I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life … 

To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones … 

And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!

 2.  Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.

Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.

Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.

The most positive people are the most grateful people.  They do not focus on the potholes of their lives.  They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences.  They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized by their possibilities.

Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do.  They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities.  They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time.  They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!

6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere with their lives!

Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

7. Positive people smile a lot!

When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

8. People who are positive are great communicators.

They realize that assertive, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life.  They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact and finesse.  They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.

One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time.  Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.  

10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.

Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe.They limit interactions with those who are toxic in any manner, even if it comes to legal action and physical estrangement such as in the case of abuse. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.

How about you?  How many habits of positive people do you personally find in yourself?  If you lack even a few of these 10 essential habits, you might find that the expected treasure at the end of the rainbow was not all that it was cracked up to be. How could it — if you keep on bringing a negative attitude around?

I wish you well in keeping positive, because as we all know, there is certainly nothing positive about being negative!

By.  Judy Belmont

 

Dissolving Past Pain and Moving Forward In Your Life.

Have you ever been hurt so badly that you thought you’d never come out on the other side? Perhaps you’re still holding onto that grief. If you are, then it’s time to learn how to let go of past pain. You deserve to let it go and learn how to move forward with your life.

Holding onto past pain and anguish is a kind of self-inflicted torture that can cause serious health risks as well as emotional scarring. The truth is, when you cling to the past, you’re internally changing your present.

How can something you’ve kept inside for so long just be let go? It’s not an easy task, but it can be done with a little effort and self-reflection.

Here are some ways you can let go of past pain and disappointment, so you can move forward with your head held high:

1. Know what’s holding you back. What are you holding onto and why? Identify the things you’re keeping inside that you shouldn’t be.

• For example, maybe your best friend betrayed you in a way that broke your trust. Recognize this and figure out a way to finally deal with it. Get in touch with them again, then explain the pain they’ve caused.

• They may not even be aware they did anything to upset you. Whether or not they apologize isn’t important. While it may be nice, you can’t control others or force them to say sorry. However, by simply voicing your feelings, you are finding closure from the hurtful situation.

• Getting closure on something that was left open-ended can make a huge difference in letting things go.

2. Talk it out. If the person who caused the hurt is still in your life, talk to them about the way they made you feel. If that person isn’t available, try to talk to a close friend or professional therapist about the situation.

• Getting your emotions out in the open can help you get over any resentment or anger you may be feeling. Bottling up your emotions is never a good thing. Let it all out in a constructive way and you’ll be amazed at how much better you’ll feel.

3. Forgive and forget. It may sound easier said than done, but forgiving someone who has hurt you can be extremely therapeutic. Strive to let things stay in the past and don’t allow them to affect your present.

• Once you learn to forgive the people who’ve caused your pain, you will find it far easier to heal and move on with your life.

4. Make the first move. You’re in charge of your pain. You’re the one who carries it around with you and you’re the only one who can change its intensity. It’s up to you to take control of the pain and take the first step towards making yourself feel better.

• Acknowledge that your pain is real and that a positive solution exists.
• Confront the cause of the pain and do everything in your power to get rid of it.

The best way to move forward is to forgive the past. If you can’t change the past, you might as well learn to accept it and move on. You’ll be glad you did once you see just how bright your future can be when you regain control of your life.

Make the conscious decision, today, to live your life free from pain and resentment.

By.  http://www.mindreality.net

9 Helpful Tips To Deal With Negative People.

1) Don’t get into an argument.

One of the most important things I learned is not to debate with a negative person. A negative person likely has very staunch views and isn’t going to change that just because of what you said. Whatever you say, he/she can find 10 different reasons to back up his/her viewpoint. The discussion will just swirl into more negativity, and you pull yourself down in the process. You can give constructive comments, and if the person rebutts with no signs of backing down, don’t engage further.

2) Empathize with them.

Have you ever been annoyed by something before, then have someone tell you to “relax”? How did you feel? Did you relax as the person suggested or did you feel even more worked up?

From my experience, people who are negative (or upset for that matter) benefit more from an empathetic ear than suggestions/solutions on what he/she should do. By helping them to address their emotions, the solutions will automatically come to them (it’s always been inside them anyway).

3) Lend a helping hand.

Some people complain as a way of crying for help. They may not be conscious of it though, so their comments come across as complaints rather than requests. Take the onus to lend a helping hand. Just a simple “Are you okay?” or “Is there anything I can do to help you?” can do wonders.

4) Stick to light topics.

Some negative people are triggered by certain topics. Take for example: One of my friends sinks into a self-victimizing mode whenever we talk about his work. No matter what I say (or don’t say), he’ll keep complaining once we talk about work.

Our 1st instinct with negative people should be to help bring them to a more positive place (i.e. steps #2 and #3). But if it’s apparent the person is stuck in his/her negativity, the unhappiness may be too deeply rooted to address in a one-off conversation, or for you to help him/her unravel it. Bring in a new topic to lighten the mood. Simple things like new movies, daily occurrences, common friends, make for light conversation. Keep it to areas the person feels positive towards.

5) Ignore the negative comments.

One way to help the negative person “get it” is to ignore the negative comments. If he/she goes into a negative swirl, ignore or give a simple “I see” or “Ok” reply. On the other hand, when he/she is being positive, reply in affirmation and enthusiasm. Do this often and soon he/she will know positivity pays off. He/she will adjust to be more positive accordingly.

6) Praise the person for the positive things.

Negative people aren’t just negative to others. They’re also negative to themselves. If you already feel negative around them, imagine how they must feel all the time. What are the things the person is good at? What do you like about the person? Recognize the positive things and praise him/her for it. He/she will be surprised at first and might reject the compliment, but on the inside he/she will feel positive about it. That’s the first seed of positivity you’re planting in him/her and it’ll bloom in the long-term.

7) Hang out in 3′s or more people.

Having someone else in the conversation works wonders in easing the load. In a 1-1 communication, all the negativity will be directed towards you. With someone else in the conversation, you don’t have to bear the full brunt of the negativity. This way you can focus more on doing steps #1 (Empathizing) and #2 (Helping the person).

8) Be responsible for your reaction.

Whether the person is negative or not, ultimately you’re the one who is perceiving the person is negative. When you recognize that, actually the negativity is the product of your lens. Take responsibility for your perceptions. For every trait, you can interpret it in a positive and a negative manner. Learn to see the goodness of the person than the negative. It may be tough initially, but once you cultivate the skill, it becomes second nature.

9) Reduce contact with them / Avoid them.

If all else fails, reduce contact with them or avoid them altogether. If it’s a good friend, let him/her know of the severity of the issue and work it out where possible. It’s not healthy to spend too much time with people who drain you. Your time is precious, so spend it with people who have positive effects on you.

By. Celestine Chua