Negative Energy - How To Avoid It!

Where does negative energy come from? Some of it is from the other people we spend time with. Don't we all know people who just suck away our energy? However, it also comes from our own thinking habits. Here are some examples of both sources of negativity and what you can do about them.

Negative Energy People

Perhaps you have a friend who needs to challenge everything you say. Some people you know may point out the negative aspects of everything. Then there are those who are just plain depressed and who seem to want the world to join them.

What can you do about these "negative energy people"? First recognize that it isn't always just that person. It is often the way you interact with that person. For example, a critical person can be a useful person if critical analysis is what you need at that moment. However, such a person may drain your energy if you waste your time defending yourself from their petty and unnecessary comments. Ignore them or ask the person to stop!

There are other ways to change the negative energy between you and another. One way is to talk about something you both have a common interest in. This can dissolve the negativity, unless it is a very depressing topic. Another simple technique is to ask negative people for some good news. Get them to tell you about anything that is going well in their lives. It's hard to maintain negative feelings when talking about something good. This one really does work most of the time.

If the above ways don't work, or if the person is just always depressing, the solution is simple, but not necessarily easy - spend less time with that person. You have to spend some time with unpleasant people, of course. They could even be people you love. However, you have no obligation to take part in their negative thinking, and you can reduce your exposure.

Negative Energy From Our Thinking

At times, don't we all produce our own share of negative energy? It comes from primarily one place - our thoughts. You may have heard the saying, "change your thinking, change your life." Don't believe it? Start to imagine all the things you need to do and all the things that could go wrong in your future, and see if you aren't feeling more stressed. The lesson here is obvious: Drop your negative thinking.

It is a simple, but not always an easy solution. Start by watching your mind. When does it indulge in negativity, and what triggers it? What can you change to trigger it less or discourage it? You don't want to ignore problems that you need to pay attention to, but how often do you do the same five minutes of thinking about a problem fifty times over? Just do what you need to do and drop it!

The flip side of negative thoughts is positive ones. This doesn't mean you need to be overly optimistic. You can change your state of mind by simply recognizing of all the good things you already have in your life. Continually thinking about the advantages you have, the good things about your character, and the wonderful things you have seen and are seeing, makes it difficult to feel very negative.

Start doing what you have to. For example, if it's difficult for you to remember to think positively, write a list of the things you are grateful for. Then put it in your pocket and pull it out and read it from time to time. Maybe you can experiment with affirmations. Start watching for things that are going right in your life and pay attention to those. Positive and negative energy come from where you aim your mind. Why not choose better places?

By Steven Gillman

10 Feel Good Thoughts for a Bad Day.

Sometimes I catch myself staring at the people around me – studying their mannerisms and expressions.  I wonder, “What is their story?  What are they searching for?  What makes their heart beat with happiness, with sorrow, with fear, with longing?”  And then I ask myself, “What words might I post on this blog to inspire them, and to remind them that, even on the toughest of days, our hearts all beat for these same things?”

Today I figured I’d share some of these words with you…

1. We are all in this together. – Nobody has it easy, we all have issues.  When you look at a person, any person, remember that everyone has a story.  Everyone has gone through something that has changed them, and forced them to grow.  Every passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours.  You will never know exactly what they are going through, and they will never know exactly what you are going through.  We are all fighting our own unique war.  But we are fighting through it simultaneously, together.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
2. You aren’t supposed to be perfect. – Live life.  Experience everything.  Take care of yourself and those closest to you.  Have fun – be a little crazy and weird.  Go out and make mistakes – you’re going to anyway.  Enjoy yourself, and exploit the countless opportunities to learn something along the way.  Figure out what works and what doesn’t.  Don’t try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human and being YOU.
3. There are reasons to smile all around you. – A teenage girl blushed when I caught her playfully tickling her boyfriend as he looked for a book in the library – I smiled.  A middle aged man got down on his knees and lovingly scratched his dog behind the ears as they waited to cross the street – I smiled.  A little girl skipped in bright white shoes that were obviously new, happily kicking her feet far out in front of her to admire them – I smiled.  On days when you don’t have much in your life to smile about, watch those who do and you’ll smile too.
4. Tough times help us grow. – We work hard to disown the parts of our lives that were painful, difficult, or sad.  But just as we can’t rip chapters out of a book and expect the story to still make sense, so we cannot rip past chapters out of our lives and expect our lives to still make sense.  Keep every chapter of your life intact, and keep on turning the pages.  Sooner or later you’ll get to a page that brings it all together and you’ll suddenly understand why every page and chapter before it was needed.
5. Repetition is not failure. – In those frustrating moments when you find yourself standing face to face with an issue you battled before – one bearing a lesson you were sure you’d already learned – remember, repetition is not failure.  Ask the waves, ask the leaves, ask the wind. Repetition is sometimes required to evolve and grow.
6. No matter what, you have a purpose. – Having a bad day?  It’s okay.  Put your hand on your heart.  Feel that?  That’s called ‘purpose.’  You’re alive for a reason.  Don’t give up.  You may lose the people you love.  You may lose the things you have.  But no matter happens, never lose yourself.  Read A New Earth.
7. Being true to yourself is always the best option. – Being true to yourself is way better than being a liar just to impress everyone else.  Don’t change so people will like you.  You may not live up to everyone’s standards, but there are people out there who will love you just the way you are.  And besides, people will judge you regardless, so you might as well be yourself when they do.
8. You don’t always have to be happy and cheerful. – Sometimes you have to deal with issues and show others your uncomfortable side.  It’s perfectly okay – it’s a natural part of being human.  And the good news is that these tough moments will often show you who will accept you at your worst and who won’t.
9. Right now is a fresh start. – Talk about your blessings more than you talk about your problems.  It’s a bright new day – a new beginning.  Your future is too bright to waste it fighting needless battles with old issues from the past.  Read The Power of Now.
10. It’s okay to let some things go. – You need to understand that none of us are playing with marked cards; sometimes we win and sometimes we lose – life always finds its balance.  Don’t expect to get back everything you give, don’t expect recognition for all your efforts, and don’t expect your genius to be instantly discovered or your love to be understood by everyone.  As you live and experience things, you must recognize what works and what doesn’t, what belongs and what doesn’t, and then let things go when you know you should.  Not out of pride, inability, or arrogance, but simply because not everything is supposed to fit into your life.  Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get rid of the dust.  Stop being who you were so you can become who you are.

By. Marc 

Getting Out of Your Own Way.

Getting in your own way is all about how you relate to yourself. In addition to not managing your time effectively, there are many ways you can stop yourself from getting the most out of life—not enjoying what you have or have accomplished; not being able to get motivated, or finish what you begin; and having a negative focus, which leads to discouragement, anxiety, despair and even depression. 

Paralysis
When you aren’t able to get yourself motivated, to complete what you start, or to follow through when you need to, it’s called emotional paralysis. The main factors that lead to paralysis are Lack of Self-Trust, Being Outer-directed, Overwhelm, Perfectionism and Negative Thinking. Let’s look at each of these roadblocks, and what you can do about them:

Lack of self-trust:
When you don’t trust yourself, your own judgement, your intelligence, and your ability to manage yourself and make your own decisions, life is too frightening to move. Here’s an exercise abbreviated from the book "It Ends With You" to help you strengthen your self-trust. 

Steps to self-trust
1. Ask your own opinion. Frequently ask yourself: “What do I think about this? Do I like it? Does it make sense to me? Do I agree or disagree with the others?”
2. Listen to the answer. Listen to your opinions as you would to the ideas of a respected friend. Consider them, weigh them, and even discuss them with yourself from time to time. 
3. Repeat until it’s a habit. After a few weeks, you’ll become comfortable with your personal opinions, which will have a profound effect on what you do and how you act. Decision-making will be faster and easier, and you’ll feel much more secure in making decisions.

Being Outer-directed:
Knowing and acting on your own opinion is being inner-directed. Making decisions based on what others want or just reacting and responding to events is being outer-directed. You get along like that for a while, then you grind to a halt and become emotionally paralyzed. You must be the one in charge of your life—I believe it’s what we were designed to do, and I see every day what happens to people who don’t take charge of their thoughts, words and deeds. Once you know your own opinion, you need to act on it. The opinions of others are helpful input, but your decisions must be your own.

Overwhelm:
When you don’t take time to think clearly about the issues and problems in your life, and get mentally organized, you try to solve everything at once, and become overwhelmed and paralyzed. To overcome this problem, write down the thoughts that are racing through your head, make a list of everything that needs to be done, and prioritize. Then, pick one thing, break it down into steps, and begin doing the steps. You’ll find that organizing your thoughts like this makes everything much more manageable.

Perfectionism: The final paralyzer is wanting to do things so perfectly that nothing is good enough. To break the paralysis, lighten up on your demands of yourself. Be a supportive, encouraging friend to yourself, not a demanding boss.

Negative thinking
By far the biggest roadblock in your relationship with yourself and with life is negative thinking. Many of my clients are afraid that recognizing problems, difficulties and grief is the same as negative thinking, and therefore, they ricochet back and forth between pretending to be happy and feeling hopeless. 

Grieving is not negative thinking, it's an adjustment in feelings. If you allow yourself to acknowledge whatever feelings you have (anger, fear, sadness, joy) you’ll be able to feel real happiness when it comes. Negative thinking is actually scaring oneself. To latch on to only the negative things, to “catastrophize” about how awful things are or will become creates unnecessary tension and stress—and eventual paralysis.

The antidote to negative thinking is trust. Trust yourself—you have a direct line to eternal wisdom, and expressing your feelings clears up the static so you'll know what is most important for you in this moment. Trust your family and friends—they love you, they want to help, so let in the love they give you. Living as truthfully as you can—including when you're upset, frightened, or hurting—will put you in harmony with God’s plan for your life. Above all, trust Love—trust that you are surrounded with it, that your loved ones love you back, that you were created by Love, and, when it's time, you will be re-created by Love. Trust the blessings of life—even the worst things will somehow turn out to be a blessing, though you may not be able to see it now. Eternal Wisdom is so much bigger than we are, and we cannot understand all its workings, but “all the Power that ever was or will be, is here now” and we are all safe.

Whatever threatens our little ego-based world cannot touch that which is real within us. There is no need to be paralyzed, to be afraid, to hesitate. 

By. Tina B. Tessina

Only once in your life...

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.” 
― Bob Marley