Three Ways to Embrace Mistakes as Life's Lessons

There are no mistakes in life; only lessons. What this means is that whenever something happens, there is a gem for you to learn from. If you can learn to accept mistakes, shortcomings, and unwanted events as opportunities for learning and personal growth, then you'll feel less stressed and fearful, you'll be more confident and self-assured, and your life experience will be more rewarding and fun.

If you do something incorrectly or wrong, or you do something that makes you feel bad, you may get angry with yourself. Most of us have a habit of beating ourselves up mentally over and over again.

The fact is that when you make a mistake, there is a lesson for you to learn. Mistakes are gifts. They offer you the opportunity to explore an area where perhaps you are deficient, need additional knowledge or training, or need to reevaluate your approach. Perhaps you were rushing. Whatever the reason, if you take the time to explore what happened, you can learn what you need to know to correct the situation and to put systems in place so that this same mistake does not recur.

Some people refuse to accept that they did anything wrong. It was someone else or it was the system. This is known as a victim mentality. They rationalize, deny, make excuses, justify, and blame. These people have not yet learned to accept responsibility for themselves and for their actions.

When you do something wrong or something doesn't quite work out the way you want, there are ways of managing it so that you learn the lesson, move on from it, and grow stronger in the process. By adopting these three approaches to life, you can learn to handle yourself gracefully and deepen your relationships with yourself and with others.

1) Be open to making mistakes

Accept that you're human and that each of us will do things we regret. Each of us will take a wrong turn, hurt someone's feelings, or make bad choices. Be open to making mistakes and embrace them as an opportunity to learn valuable life lessons. They hurt sometimes - a lot of the time. But if you open to learning from your mistakes, you will be able to move on rather than wallowing in regret or disappointment. If you don't learn the lesson, it will repeat itself again and again in different situations until you get it. Experience is a hard teacher.

2) Be aware

In other words, look for areas of improvement. Be on the lookout for "mistakes" or ways to strengthen your character. Be aware of what you are doing, why you are doing it, how you feel, and how you make others feel. This way of thinking is about being proactive and seeking betterment to avoid unnecessary blunders. If you are aware of how your behaviors impact others, then you can determine whether that is enhancing or hurting your relationships.

You are responsible for how you are received by others. This is a matter of emotional intelligence. You must be aware of the impact your words and actions have on others. Sometimes, your words just don't land right or you say something but it is not what you meant to say. People have difficulty expressing what they really mean. By being fully aware of how you impact others, you maintain an open state of learning which allows you to constantly practice being a better person - a better you.

3) Accept full responsibility for yourself and your life

Whatever happens, whenever you make a mistake or you are involved in a misunderstanding, take responsibility. There is always something to be learned or improved even if the other person was wrong too.

Accepting responsibility is liberating. Yes, it's hard to admit you were wrong. But it demonstrates strength, courage, and a commitment to personal excellence. It's respectful. By doing so, you demonstrate that you care about yourself and the other person.

When you accept full responsibility for yourself, you also accept responsibility for making things right. If something was done poorly, then you can fix it. If something was misunderstood, then focus on building greater understanding in your relationships. When you accept responsibility, you demonstrate the highest level of respect for yourself and others. And you learn to make better choices to avoid problems, mistakes, and misunderstandings in the future.

By being open to learning life's lessons from every event, situation, and encounter; by maintaining an awareness of how you are received in relationships with others; and by accepting complete responsibility for yourself; you empower yourself to create richer, more meaningful relationships with others. You also will also develop more self-respect and learn to stop beating yourself up over your mistakes; instead taking responsibility, making things right where necessary, and committing yourself to developing greater integrity and a more mature character.

By Julie Fuimano, Personal & Career Coach

28 Ways to Stop Complicating Your Life.

"Life is not complicated.  We are complicated.  When we stop doing the wrong things and start doing the right things, life is simple."

So starting today…

Stop berating yourself for being a work in progress. – Start embracing it!  Because being a work in progress doesn’t mean you’re not good enough today.  It means you want a better tomorrow, and you wish to love yourself completely, so you can live your life fully.  It means you’re determined to heal your heart, expand your mind and cultivate the gifts you know you’re meant to share. May we all be works in progress forever, and celebrate the fact that we are!

Stop doing immoral things simply because you can. – Start being honest with yourself and everyone else.  Don’t cheat.  Be faithful.  Be kind.  Do the right thing!  It is a less complicated way to live.  Integrity is the essence of everything successful.  When you break the rules of integrity you invite serious complications into your life.  Keep life simple and enjoyable by doing what you know in your heart is right.

Stop meaning what you don’t say. – Start communicating clearly.  Don’t try to read other people’s minds, and don’t make other people try to read yours.  Most problems, big and small, within a family, friendship, or business relationship, start with bad communication.  Someone isn’t being clear.

Stop wasting time and money trying to acquire more of everything. – Start focusing on quality.  High quality is worth more than any quantity, in possessions, friends and experiences.  Truly ‘rich’ people need less to be happy.  Live a comfortable life, not a wasteful one.  Too many people buy things they don’t need with money they don’t have to impress people they don’t know.  Do not spend to impress others.  Do not live life trying to fool yourself into thinking wealth is measured in material objects.  Manage your money wisely so your money does not manage you.

Stop spending time with negative people. – Start spending time with nice people who are smart, driven and like-minded.  Relationships should help you, not hurt you.  Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be.  Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you – people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it.  Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  When you free yourself of negative people, you free yourself to be YOU – and being YOU is the simplest way to live.

Stop trying to change people. – Start accepting people just the way they are.  In most cases it’s impossible to change them anyway, and it’s rude to try.  So save yourself from needless stress.  Instead of trying to change others, give them your support and lead by example.

Stop being lazy and cutting corners. – Start avoiding future headaches by doing things right the first time.  Always put your best foot forward.  Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.  Why give less than 100%?  Life is too short to waste it by living below your full potential.  If something is worth doing, then it’s worth doing well.

Stop procrastinating. – Start taking action and making changes.  Action and change are often resisted when they’re needed most.  Get a hold of yourself and have discipline.  Discipline is choosing what you really want over what you want right now.  Putting something off makes it instantly harder and scarier.  What we don’t start today won’t be finished by tomorrow.  And there’s nothing more stressful than the perpetual lingering of an unfinished task.

Stop worrying and complaining. – Start focusing on the things you can control and do something about them.  Those who complain the most accomplish the least.  And when you spend time worrying, you’re simply using your imagination to create things you don’t want.  It’s usually only as good or bad as you think it is.

Stop being dramatic. – Start spending less time gossiping about problems and more time helping yourself and others solve them.  Stay out of people’s needless drama and don’t create your own.
Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Start focusing on being everything to someone.  Helping or pleasing everyone is impossible.  But making one person smile can change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus and be yourself.

Stop making promises you can’t keep. – Starting under-promising and over-delivering on everything you do.  Period.

Stop blaming others. – Start accepting responsibility for everything in your life.  Blaming others accomplishes nothing and prolongs the complications you’re facing.  Either you own your problems, or they will own you.  Your choice.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give up your power over that part of your life.

Stop reacting without a plan. – Start planning and working toward specific goals.  Make a list of your top 3 - 5 goals.  What’s most important to you?  What do you value most?  What 3 - 5 things do you most want to do in your life?  Simplifying your life starts with these priorities, as you are trying to make room in your life so you have more time for these things.  Having a plan, even a flawed one at first, is better than no plan at all.  There is good reason why you should wake each morning and mindfully consider what and who you will give your day to: Because unlike other things in life – love, money, respect, good health, hope, opportunities, etc. – time is the one thing you can never get back once it’s gone.

Stop confusing ‘being busy’ with ‘being productive.’ – Start tracking and measuring your progress.  Being busy and being productive are two very different things.  Results are more important than the time it takes to achieve them.

Stop over-committing and trying to do too much at once. – Start saying “no” more often.  If you never say “no,” you will take on too much and get nothing accomplished.  In the beginning, you need to say “yes” to a lot of things to discover and establish your goals.  Later on, you need to say “no” to a lot of things and concentrate on your goals.  Once your goals are established, focus on doing one thing at a time and doing it well.  Also, leave space around commitments in your day.  Whether you have appointments, or things you need to do, don’t stack them back-to-back.  Leave a little space between things you need to do, so you will have room for contingencies, and you’ll go through your day much more relaxed.

Stop being inefficient simply because you have always done it that way. – Start opening your mind to making positive changes.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Many times we live with unplanned, complex systems in our lives simply because we haven’t given them much thought.  Instead, streamline your life by finding better ways of handling common tasks.  Focus on one system at a time (your cleaning system, your errands system, your paperwork system, your email system, etc.) and try to make it simplified, efficient, and logical.  Then, once you have it perfected, stick to it.  Read Getting Things Done and The Power of Less.

Stop cluttering your space. – Start clearing clutter.  Get rid of stuff you don’t use and then organize what’s left.  If you have a cluttered living or working space, it can be distracting and stressful.  A clear space is like a blank canvas, available to be used to create something great.  Getting truly organized and clutter-free can vastly improve anyone’s life.

Stop overloading your mind by consuming useless information. – Start unsubscribing from useless e-lists and news feeds, and keep the TV off.  Limit your time on Facebook, Twitter, CNN.com and your other favorite websites, etc.

Stop obsessing over the past and future. – Start being present. Paying more attention to the current moment can make a huge difference in simplifying your life.  It keeps you aware of life, of what’s going on around you and within you.  It does wonders for your sanity and stress levels.

Stop waiting for things to be perfect. – Start thinking of how many things don’t get done in this world simply because people are waiting for the perfect time, place and circumstance.  If you’re waiting for the perfect conditions, ideas or plans to get started, you’ll never achieve anything.  A good idea without action is nothing at all.  Keep it simple and just start.  Focus on the next positive step forward.
Stop focusing so much energy on trying to avoid mistakes. – Start learning from your mistakes, then smile and move on.  No matter how smart you are, you will make mistakes.  Trying to avoid them will only waste time and complicate your life.  There is a lesson in every mistake you make, and learning the lesson is how you move forward.

Stop making emotional decisions. – Start taking a few steps back so you can think things through.  When you’re caught up in the moment and your emotions are soaring, you’re bound to make poor decisions that will lead to needless complications.  The best advice here is simple:  Don’t let your emotions trump your intelligence.  Slow down and think things through before you make any big decisions.

Stop being unhealthy. – Start taking care of your body.  Start sleeping eight hours every night.  A tired, malnourished mind is over-stressed and rarely productive.  Your health is your life, don’t let it go.  Eat right, exercise and get an annual physical check-up.  The The 4-Hour Body is an insightful and entertaining read on this topic.

Stop holding on to intimate relationships that make you unhappy. – Start looking out for yourself when it comes to intimate relationships.  It’s better to WAIT, and give your hand to someone who will never let go, rather than holding on to the outside of a hand that has never fully opened for you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  Remember, anyone can come into your life and say how much they love you.  But it takes someone really special to stay in your life and show you how much they love you.  So slow it down.  True love is worth the wait.

Stop holding on to hate. – Start letting hate go!  Keep your sights set on the future.  Holding on to hate and anger is like grasping hot coals with the intent of throwing them at someone else – you are the one who gets burned.  If you want to forget someone, and move on, you must give up hating them.  It’s hard to forget someone you hate, because hate takes pieces of your heart – thereby keeping this person within your heart.  If you want to forget them, let go of the hate, and create peace in your heart instead.  Also, remember that whenever you hate something, it usually hates you back: people, situations, and inanimate objects alike; which will only further complicate your life.

Stop pretending like you know everything. – Start accepting the fact that there’s a lot you don’t know.  Nobody has it all figured out.  Nobody knows more than a minuscule fraction of what’s going on in the world.  Why?  Because the world is simply way too vast for any one person to know everything well.  And most of what we see is only what we think about what we see.  The sooner you accept this, the sooner you will stop making the same unnecessary mistakes, and the sooner new doors of opportunity will open in your life.

Stop giving what you don’t want to receive. – Start practicing the golden rule.  If you want love, give love.  If you want friends, be friendly.  If you want money, provide value.  It works.  It really is this simple.

By. Marc

Negative Energy - How To Avoid It!

Where does negative energy come from? Some of it is from the other people we spend time with. Don't we all know people who just suck away our energy? However, it also comes from our own thinking habits. Here are some examples of both sources of negativity and what you can do about them.

Negative Energy People

Perhaps you have a friend who needs to challenge everything you say. Some people you know may point out the negative aspects of everything. Then there are those who are just plain depressed and who seem to want the world to join them.

What can you do about these "negative energy people"? First recognize that it isn't always just that person. It is often the way you interact with that person. For example, a critical person can be a useful person if critical analysis is what you need at that moment. However, such a person may drain your energy if you waste your time defending yourself from their petty and unnecessary comments. Ignore them or ask the person to stop!

There are other ways to change the negative energy between you and another. One way is to talk about something you both have a common interest in. This can dissolve the negativity, unless it is a very depressing topic. Another simple technique is to ask negative people for some good news. Get them to tell you about anything that is going well in their lives. It's hard to maintain negative feelings when talking about something good. This one really does work most of the time.

If the above ways don't work, or if the person is just always depressing, the solution is simple, but not necessarily easy - spend less time with that person. You have to spend some time with unpleasant people, of course. They could even be people you love. However, you have no obligation to take part in their negative thinking, and you can reduce your exposure.

Negative Energy From Our Thinking

At times, don't we all produce our own share of negative energy? It comes from primarily one place - our thoughts. You may have heard the saying, "change your thinking, change your life." Don't believe it? Start to imagine all the things you need to do and all the things that could go wrong in your future, and see if you aren't feeling more stressed. The lesson here is obvious: Drop your negative thinking.

It is a simple, but not always an easy solution. Start by watching your mind. When does it indulge in negativity, and what triggers it? What can you change to trigger it less or discourage it? You don't want to ignore problems that you need to pay attention to, but how often do you do the same five minutes of thinking about a problem fifty times over? Just do what you need to do and drop it!

The flip side of negative thoughts is positive ones. This doesn't mean you need to be overly optimistic. You can change your state of mind by simply recognizing of all the good things you already have in your life. Continually thinking about the advantages you have, the good things about your character, and the wonderful things you have seen and are seeing, makes it difficult to feel very negative.

Start doing what you have to. For example, if it's difficult for you to remember to think positively, write a list of the things you are grateful for. Then put it in your pocket and pull it out and read it from time to time. Maybe you can experiment with affirmations. Start watching for things that are going right in your life and pay attention to those. Positive and negative energy come from where you aim your mind. Why not choose better places?

By Steven Gillman

10 Feel Good Thoughts for a Bad Day.

Sometimes I catch myself staring at the people around me – studying their mannerisms and expressions.  I wonder, “What is their story?  What are they searching for?  What makes their heart beat with happiness, with sorrow, with fear, with longing?”  And then I ask myself, “What words might I post on this blog to inspire them, and to remind them that, even on the toughest of days, our hearts all beat for these same things?”

Today I figured I’d share some of these words with you…

1. We are all in this together. – Nobody has it easy, we all have issues.  When you look at a person, any person, remember that everyone has a story.  Everyone has gone through something that has changed them, and forced them to grow.  Every passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours.  You will never know exactly what they are going through, and they will never know exactly what you are going through.  We are all fighting our own unique war.  But we are fighting through it simultaneously, together.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
2. You aren’t supposed to be perfect. – Live life.  Experience everything.  Take care of yourself and those closest to you.  Have fun – be a little crazy and weird.  Go out and make mistakes – you’re going to anyway.  Enjoy yourself, and exploit the countless opportunities to learn something along the way.  Figure out what works and what doesn’t.  Don’t try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human and being YOU.
3. There are reasons to smile all around you. – A teenage girl blushed when I caught her playfully tickling her boyfriend as he looked for a book in the library – I smiled.  A middle aged man got down on his knees and lovingly scratched his dog behind the ears as they waited to cross the street – I smiled.  A little girl skipped in bright white shoes that were obviously new, happily kicking her feet far out in front of her to admire them – I smiled.  On days when you don’t have much in your life to smile about, watch those who do and you’ll smile too.
4. Tough times help us grow. – We work hard to disown the parts of our lives that were painful, difficult, or sad.  But just as we can’t rip chapters out of a book and expect the story to still make sense, so we cannot rip past chapters out of our lives and expect our lives to still make sense.  Keep every chapter of your life intact, and keep on turning the pages.  Sooner or later you’ll get to a page that brings it all together and you’ll suddenly understand why every page and chapter before it was needed.
5. Repetition is not failure. – In those frustrating moments when you find yourself standing face to face with an issue you battled before – one bearing a lesson you were sure you’d already learned – remember, repetition is not failure.  Ask the waves, ask the leaves, ask the wind. Repetition is sometimes required to evolve and grow.
6. No matter what, you have a purpose. – Having a bad day?  It’s okay.  Put your hand on your heart.  Feel that?  That’s called ‘purpose.’  You’re alive for a reason.  Don’t give up.  You may lose the people you love.  You may lose the things you have.  But no matter happens, never lose yourself.  Read A New Earth.
7. Being true to yourself is always the best option. – Being true to yourself is way better than being a liar just to impress everyone else.  Don’t change so people will like you.  You may not live up to everyone’s standards, but there are people out there who will love you just the way you are.  And besides, people will judge you regardless, so you might as well be yourself when they do.
8. You don’t always have to be happy and cheerful. – Sometimes you have to deal with issues and show others your uncomfortable side.  It’s perfectly okay – it’s a natural part of being human.  And the good news is that these tough moments will often show you who will accept you at your worst and who won’t.
9. Right now is a fresh start. – Talk about your blessings more than you talk about your problems.  It’s a bright new day – a new beginning.  Your future is too bright to waste it fighting needless battles with old issues from the past.  Read The Power of Now.
10. It’s okay to let some things go. – You need to understand that none of us are playing with marked cards; sometimes we win and sometimes we lose – life always finds its balance.  Don’t expect to get back everything you give, don’t expect recognition for all your efforts, and don’t expect your genius to be instantly discovered or your love to be understood by everyone.  As you live and experience things, you must recognize what works and what doesn’t, what belongs and what doesn’t, and then let things go when you know you should.  Not out of pride, inability, or arrogance, but simply because not everything is supposed to fit into your life.  Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get rid of the dust.  Stop being who you were so you can become who you are.

By. Marc 

How to cope and stay positive when bad stuff happens.

No one ever said life is going to be easy. We all have experienced rough times in our lives, some others more than most. We all look for our answers when bad things happen and especially when it happens to good people. It can also be very easy to start the blame game or the “what if” game after bad things happen.  Let’s face it though, we can’t prevent or predict when bad things happen in our lives. Honestly, bad things are more likely going to happen to us in the future.Life can be pretty complicated with mayhem and at times you may feel like you been knocked down so hard that you may never recover. There is hope though and although it may not seem like there, just remember it can’t rain all the time and there will be light eventually.

How We Cope With Bad Things In Life

The way we overcome bad things in order to keep pushing forward in life and not letting it get us in “Quicksand” is all dependent on the way we handle and react to these outcomes in life.

Get Out Of Quicksand - Quicksand is the effect where you seem you like you are in way over your hard and struggling to survive. Yes, it can be difficult when things add up or something so tremendous hit’s you so hard that you may feel like no matter what you do there is no way positive outcome. The thing with quicksand though is that if you stop for a minute struggling and just keep a cool and calm head, then eventually you can get out of the quicksand. The same applies to life, stop for a minute and get a clear head to prepare yourself in overcoming this temporary setback in life. The more you dwell on the negatives and the problem the more difficult it is to rise above.

Don’t Worry About The Things You Can’t Control 

There is a prayer called the Serenity Prayer that Alcoholics Anonymous Meetings use most often that focuses on having the strength to focus on what they can control and the strength to accept things they can not change. There is no point stressing yourself out in worrying about the things you can’t control. Focus on what you can control and that is the present, not the past or impossible things for the future.

“Something I learned early in college (is) to not worry about what I can’t control…But what I can control is my attitude, my effort, my focus every single day and that’s what I’m trying to worry about.” – Tim Tebow

Learning Experience 

The most effective thing we can do from rough events in our life is to learn from them. Whether you are spiritual or not, there is a driving force in this world that tells us that things happen for a reason. Seek out that reason and embrace it. If a difficult event happened in your family that has brought everyone together then maybe that reason is getting the opportunity to spend time with your family that you may never have done before. This is not to say to forget or ignore the problem but try to learn from this experience, it is the only way to get better in life.

Keep It Positive 

You must stay head strong and always look for the positive in life even when it looks bleak in life. Keeping a positive outlook will help you push through this temporary setback in life. You are what you think. Watch funny movies and TV, go out and do something fun or spend quality time with friends. Do whatever you got to do to stay positive.

Keep Pushing Forward 

Never go backwards, you must always keep pushing forward and overcoming obstacles in life. 

"You, me or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It ‘s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done." – Rocky Balboa

Have Faith / Hope

Finally, the thing you must keep is faith and hope alive. This will pass, tomorrow the sun will rise again and the future will become better. You have to maintain a sense of hope or otherwise you will be holding on to something that will keep you complacent. Having hope will give you purpose to move forward.

~ Doris Ann

"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow." – Maya Angelou 

How Do Appreciation & Gratitude Affect Your Life?

I am a big believer in using the power of gratitude to create positive changes. Being constantly aware of your many blessings, and feeling grateful for them, can have a huge impact on the quality of your life. When you are filled with appreciation, it quite literally changes the dynamic of your reality.

I find it truly amazing how one, simple, positive action can change so much in a person’s life. In fact, recognizing the profound power of gratitude is one of the things that have had a huge effect on my life. It has made me a more positive and caring person. It has also made me a better husband, father, and friend. I can honestly say that in some very tangible ways, gratitude has made my life better.

Harness the power of gratitude.

Now you might not get the same exact benefits as I have, but I can pretty much guarantee that practicing gratitude and appreciation can change your life as well.  There’s no doubt in my mind that the simple act of being grateful on a regular basis will change your perception in very positive ways. How many other simple strategies do you know that can make such a claim?

Let’s take a look at some practical ways that you can start incorporating gratitude into your life so you can start enjoying the benefits immediately. Of course, these are just some examples based on my personal experience and the experiences of others I’ve talked with. Obviously, not all of them will apply to you, so just choose the ones that you feel comfortable with.

7 ways to improve your life with gratitude.

1. Have a morning gratitude review. 
Make it a daily ritual to take one minute in the morning to think of all the people and things in your life that you are grateful for. You won’t get to everything in one minute’s time, but it’s enough to get you thinking in the right direction. A simple gratitude review will instantly set the tone for the rest of the day and help you focus your attention on other things to appreciate about your life. Can you think of a better use of one minute?

2. When you are having a hard day, make a gratitude list. 
We all have those challenging days from time to time. During those difficult days it can be hard to maintain a positive outlook. One of the things that can make a bad day much better is to take a break and make a list of all the things you are thankful for. No matter what you are going through, there are always things to be thankful for. Making a list of those things will shift your focus and make you feel much more resourceful.

3. Instead of getting mad at someone, show gratitude. 
I know this isn’t always the easiest thing because it requires a complete reversal in attitude. But I can promise you that it’s a great thing to do for your own peace of mind. If you get mad, try to bite your tongue and resist the temptation to react in anger. Instead, take some deep breaths, calm down, and try to think of reasons you’re grateful for that person. Find something, anything, even if it’s something very small. Then focus only on that reason to feel grateful. Slowly your mood will begin to shift away from anger toward a more empowering state.

4. Instead of criticizing, show gratitude. 
This is similar to the strategy above, but much less challenging. This simple tactic can literally transform an important relationship like a marriage. If you constantly criticize your spouse, your marriage will slowly deteriorate. Yes, it’s important to be able to talk out problems, but no one likes to be criticized all the time. So, when you find yourself feeling the urge to criticize, stop and get a grip on yourself. Now take a moment to think about all the reasons you are truly grateful for your spouse. Then share that gratitude, as soon as possible and watch as your relationship becomes stronger.

5. When you face a major challenge, be grateful for it. 
Many people will see difficulties as a reason to complain and feel sorry for themselves. Trust me, that attitude won’t get you anywhere. Instead, try to see the positive aspects associated with those difficult experiences. Could you appreciate them as an opportunity to learn and grow? This simple change in perception can transform a challenge into something positive with possible long term benefits. But for that to happen we need to cultivate an attitude of gratitude.

6. Express gratitude to others at every opportunity. 

Say thank you whenever someone shows you the least bit of consideration. Doing this will make you feel better and it will encourage others to be more considerate. There are plenty of rude and inconsiderate people in the world, but you can be a force for good simply by spreading some gratitude around. Be on the lookout for even small acts of kindness. When you notice them be quick to express appreciation and watch what happens. You can use the power of your gratitude to help others feel good about themselves.

7. Focus on what you have not what you don’t have. 
Have you ever looked around you and felt shortchanged because the place you live isn’t your dream house or the car you drive isn’t as nice as you would like? It’s easy to forget that there are billions of people who are much worse off than you are. Those people would be so grateful to have what you have.  When you compare your life to these people’s lives, you can’t help but feel grateful for the life you have.  You may not have everything, but you must admit that you have been blessed in many ways.

Make the shift and enjoy the benefits.

The more you focus on gratitude the more you will appreciate your life and the happier you will be. An appreciative attitude will also make you more aware of your blessings and prevent you from taking them for granted. Remember, the happiest people are not the ones who have the best of everything, they are the ones who are grateful for everything they have.

By. Jonathan Wells

The Purpose of Your Life - Your Life Mission.

How To Find Your True Life's Passion and Purpose:

In order to awaken your true life’s purpose you need to be ready to accept "change". Change may come in the form of a change in consciousness, a change in belief-sets and/or thought-patterns, a distinct career change, a change in lifestyle choices.

Most of us have asked the question in one way or another, “What should I be doing with my life?What’s my purpose?”

This is not an easy question ....

To find your answers:

Listen to your intuition...

Still your thinking, analytical mind. Listen.

Everyone has an inner-voice that acts as our internal radar system and guide. We just have to listen to it and trust it in order to be led by it successfully.

Feelings and messages about our purpose and passion often come as a gnawing thought or a reminder of what sparks your interests and what is important to you. Sometimes some sort of serendipitous situation or event will take place in order to jolt your hidden personal passions and purpose.

Ask yourself: ‘What makes me happy?’ - and answer honestly.

Take the opportunity to really analyse your happiness.

What brings you true Joy? Write a list ... you may see a trend develop.

What is stopping you from pursuing your joys and turning them into a life purpose or mission?

If you are spending a great deal of your time doing menial tasks, working at a job you loathe or living in a way that is unfulfilling for you, recognize and acknowledge this – then be ready for change.

Think about what frustrates you, what excites you, what motivates you, what disinterests you. Take conscious note of your reactions as these may indicate where your true purpose lies.

Ask yourself what you love to do, what you love about yourself, what you love about your life.

Ask yourself what is really important to you? What ‘causes’ do you lean towards? What and/or who inspires you?

How could you make a positive difference to the world for yourself and others? When we live our passions and life purposes we are fulfilled, satisfied and happy. This positive vibration spreads and reverberates to every corner of your life and serves as an example for others to follow.

"Trust yourself to make the right choices for YOU. Listen to your inner-voice – then trust it."

Sometimes your inner voice may lead you along a path that could bring you great personal joy and fulfilment, but may seem a little unorthodox, unsuited or inappropriate to family, friends or peers in their view and judgement. Sometimes finding and living your purpose could mean going against the wishes or advice of others, particularly that of close friends and family. Be true to yourself regardless. Walk your own path.

Make your decisions based upon your own personal truths - no one else’s. Have faith and trust in your dreams and follow their lead.

Patience is an important key. Finding your life’s purpose may take time to discover and nurture. Trust that everything happens in divine right timing.

If you are feeling unfulfilled and know there is "more to life" out there for you, take the time, patience and commitment to find your true life purpose. Once you find your passion and begin to live your purpose, it will be well worth it for you for the rest of your life.

"If you can't figure out your life's purpose, figure out your passion, for your passion will lead you right into your purpose." ~ Bishop T.D. Jakes

By. Joanne from the website "SACRED SCRIBES"

Free Yourself By “Letting Go” of What You Can’t Control.

We all want to feel like we’re in control of our life and are masters of our destiny.

Think of a time when things started to feel out of control in your life. How did you feel? What did you do?

Did you do everything in your power to regain control, and cling to the little bit of direction you had left?

Many people become consumed with what they can’t control and obsessed with making things different.

"If we ever want true emotional well-being and spiritual freedom we have to learn to “let go” of what we can’t control."

When we dwell on what is out of our control, whether something that happened to us in the past, or something we’re awaiting in the future, it prevents us from experiencing the beauty in the moment and having peace of mind.

The paradox of control

The more we try to control things the less control we will experience. Things will inevitably be different than we expect and can change in an instant. When we can embrace that things are ever changing we begin to loosen our grip on the many areas of life we try to hold sway over.

When we desire control and don’t have it, it leads to worrying and agitation. We become irrational and start thinking about all the negative things that could happen. The more control we crave the more we begin to live from fear and desperation.

Here are a few ideas to help you “let go”.

Is it that you can’t or you won’t?

This is an important question to ask yourself to help you “let go” of the emotional burden that comes with a desire for control. Ask yourself, “Is this a situation where I can’t change or I won’t change.”

Sometimes we feel like we can’t make a change, “I can’t quite my job.” “I can’t give up this salary.” “I can’t get into college.” “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t…” Statement such as these set us up to feel out of control.

Usually it’s not that we can’t, but that we won’t.

When we can accept we won’t change it makes it much easier to let go and move forward. From this perspective, we have a choice in the matter.

Accentuate the positive

When we don’t feel in control it’s easy to focus on what’s going wrong and how terrible things are. We start to feel dis-empowered and lose perspective on our capabilities.

We may start catastrophizing about all the horrible things that could happen and have trouble looking beyond the immediate situation.

By learning to focus on what’s going right and not letting our situation consume our thoughts, we not only experience less distress but will be able to think more clearly and problem solve more effectively.

Stay mindful and breath

Mindfulness is an approach to experiencing life moment by moment. When we are mindful we can deal with our situation without being judgmental or critical of ourselves or the circumstances.

When we feel unpleasant we don’t have to get caught up in this. We can relax and step back, instead of brooding in this negative state.

Work to be mindful of your breath. Just pay attention to your natural breathing. You can also be mindful of your senses, or your thoughts. The goal is to remain present and nonjudgmental of what is taking place.

Being aware can help simplify a situation and make if easier to deal with it.

Visualize your desired outcome

Visualization is one of the most powerful ways to overcome fears and push past uneasiness. All successful musicians, athletes, and performers visualize themselves completing the task that awaits them.

Visualization is different than simply day dreaming or fantasizing about an outcome we desire. We must take action and put in the work necessary to make a change.

Despite what is taking place at the time we can visualize a successful outcome. This will give us psychological and emotional support to stay motivated and able to persevere, and it will keep our thinking focused on what we desire and prevent us from feeling overwhelmed or panicked.

Keep a sense of humor

Have you ever noticed that when things aren’t going the way we planned, even the smallest things can start to cause stress? When under stress we become overly serious and neglect the many moments of pleasure and gratification that surround us.

Humor can really cut tension and lighten-up a difficult situation.

When things seem bleak looking at things from a humorous perspective can help lighten the load. Look for humor in serious situations and use this as a tool to release your grip on control.

Focus on what you can control

When life seems completely out of control, there is always something amidst the chaos that can help us regain a sense of control.

It may be something very small, and if nothing else we can always learn to control our attitude.

We can’t control everything that takes place, but we can learn to focus on what we can do personally and how we can make a change. This helps us move beyond a victim mentality and to feel empowered to take action.

 Joe Wilner M.A. C.C.P.

Wishing you...

"Wishing you laughter to put a song in your heart and fill your days with smiles.

Wishing you wonder to spark your imagination and add a special richness to life.

Wishing you beauty to delight our senses and color your dreams with joy."

~ Unknown

Mastering The Art of a Worry-Free Life.

Here are 6 ways to embrace the Art of a Worry-Free Life:

• Step 1: Accept That Worry Doesn't Help
  
  

  “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.” - Mark Twain

  
  I wouldn’t object to worrying if it was more practical in improving our lives. But, the fact is, worrying won’t pay the rent or stop an aneurism from exploding in our brain. And I’ve never seen a hurricane that could be stopped by a few hours of nail biting.
  
  Worrying does nothing to help us deal with what we’re anxious about. It doesn’t make us more creative, smarter, engaging, or productive. Go ahead, worry 24 hours a day, 52 weeks a year…and see for yourself if one second of that worrying does anything to make your life better. And while seeing through this illusion of worry won’t immediately put you into a Zen-like state of bliss, it will hopefully give you more energy, while freeing up your mind long enough to see practical solutions to your problems. It will hopefully lead you to action.
• 
  
• Step 2: Stay In The Moment
  
  

  “Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.” - Author Unknown

  
  The problem with worry is that it exists almost entirely in the past and the future.
  We spend so much time and energy worrying about what has already happened, or what we think might happen in the future, that we have no time for today. This not only keeps our worries spinning alive, but weakens us, kills our spirit, and robs us of joy.
  
  Staying in the moment —living in the now— is at the heart of any worry free program. Volumes have been written on the subject and, to be honest, you could spend a lifetime mastering it. Here is what you can do right now to get started:
• Engage in activities that keep you in the moment. Deep breathing exercises work, as will yoga, meditation, gardening, reading, running, swimming; a walk in the woods, a bike ride at the beach. Nature helps, so does humor, volunteering, and doing virtually anything you’re passionate about.
• 
  
• Surround yourself with people who live in present moment awareness. Children are good for this, so are older people, outdoor types, athletes and creatives. With a little effort, you’ll find your own role models. Spend enough time with them and it’ll rub off. Note to your new self: At first these people might get on your nerves. That’s your worried, uncomfortable self cringing at the idea of letting go. Stay with it.
• 
  
Catch yourself living in the past or the future as often as you can. Notice regret as it pops up, or guilt, or longing. Recognize when you start thinking about what might or might not happen tomorrow. Catch all these “past and future” moments, then bring yourself back to the moment you’re living in.                                

Step 3: Stop Looking For Bad Things To Worry About

• “He that seeks trouble always finds it.” - English Proverb

  
  Turn off the news, switch off talk radio, stop reading newspapers, and avoid all conversations with people who only want to talk about how screwed up the world is. You know who they are.
  
  The more you think, talk, or obsess about something, the faster you’ll bring more of it into your life. After all, it’s hard enough to stop worrying about your own problems, let alone have to take on those of the world. Don’t pile on more.
• 
  
• Step 4: Start Looking For Good Things to Be Happy About
  
  

  “He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, 
  but rejoices for those which he has." - Epictetus

  
  It’s a law of the universe that two objects can’t occupy the same place at the same time. This applies to our thoughts as well. It’s not enough to want to rid ourselves of worried thoughts, we need to replace those worries with something positive to think about. In other words, stop focusing on the approaching hurricane and start thinking about the family you’re huddled around with in the basement.
  
  Worry isn’t going to go away easily. We have to fight it with everything we have. And what we have are our children, our spouses and loved ones, sunsets and stars, oceans and mountains; our beating hearts and strong minds; our endless capacity to love, laugh and find joy. It’s called gratitude…and it works.
• 
  
• Step 5: Be Prepared, Then Let Go
  
  

  “Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.” - Herman Hesse

  
  Living a worry-free life doesn’t mean we should pretend our world isn’t filled with challenges. We need to be ready for what comes. And nothing combats worry more than action.
  
  So, wear sunscreen, pay off credit cards, eat more greens, learn fractions, and when that hurricane approaches, board up the windows, stock up on supplies and head to the basement. What we can’t do is tell the hurricane to make a u-turn when it comes to our street. That’s the point we need to let go. It’s called surrender, trust, or the simple knowing that there is something larger than ourselves and the problems we face. All of which leads to our 6th and most important step.
• 
  
• Step 6: Use Worry To Find Meaning In Life
  
  

  “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” - Khalil Gibran

  
  While the previous five steps will take us far in alleviating worry, to achieve lasting relief, we need a shift in perception. We need to re-interpret our worries in light of what they have to teach us. Granted, not everyone will want to do this.
  
  It isn’t easy asking someone to look beyond his or her struggles in search of a greater truth. It’s like asking someone to see the rainbow when they’re stuck in the middle of a storm —easy advice to give, not so easy to take.
  
  Yet, it is the exact step that will bring us peace.
  
  The key is to cultivate this spirit of living before the storm hits. It’s no secret that we all have our stories, our own scars. You have yours. I have mine. They may take different shapes, or arrive at different times in our lives, but nobody is immune from pain, sorrow and challenge. It is only how we write the endings to our stories that are different — how we will each work through, and then learn from our experiences.
  
  And, of course, the best stories —the ones we all remember— are the ones where we come out of a crisis as a different person. The stories where we not only endure, but emerge stronger, happier, and wiser.
  
  It is the hero’s journey. Your journey…and mine.
  
  It is a journey where worry evolves into action, insight, then reinvention; where worry transforms into hope and promise. But, this journey takes choice. A decision has to be made.
  
  What will we do with worry as it creeps into our lives each day? Will we cry foul, play victim, and point fingers? Will we give in and let worry continue to rule our lives? Or will we take action and engage life? Will we reject negativity, seek stillness and embrace gratitude, searching out people who will nourish and make us stronger? Will we choose to meet our worries head on, with the knowingness that our challenges, however difficult they may be, contain the seeds to bring more purpose and meaning into our lives than we could have ever imagined?
  
  Make the right choice —the heroic choice.

By. Bill Apablasa