12 Rules for Being a Human Being.

"Don’t try to be perfect.  Just be an excellent example of being human." ~ Tony Robbins

Here are a few things to keep in mind:

1. Growth requires pain. – Be patient and tough, someday this pain will be useful to you.  Those with the strength to succeed in the long run are the ones who lay a firm foundation of growth with the bricks that life has thrown at them.  So don’t be afraid to fall apart for a little while.  Because when it happens, the situation will open an opportunity for you to grow and rebuild yourself into the brilliant person you are capable of being.
2. You will learn as long as you live. – There is no stage of life that does not contain new lessons.  As long as you live there will be something more to learn.  And as long as you follow your heart and never stop learning, you’ll turn not older, but newer every day.  Read The Last Lecture.
3. There is a positive lesson in every life experience. – Don’t forget to acknowledge the lesson, especially when things don’t go your way.  If you make a mistake that sets you back a little, or a business deal or a relationship doesn’t work, it only means a new opportunity is out there waiting.  And the lesson you just learned is the first step towards it.
4. True beauty lives under the skin. – When you start to really know someone, most of their physical characteristics vanish in your mind.  You begin to dwell in their energy, recognize their scent, and appreciate their wit.  You see only the essence of the person, not the shell.  That’s why you can’t fall in love with physical beauty.  You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, or want to own it.  You can love it with your eyes and your body for a little while, but not your heart in the long-term.  And that’s why, when you really connect with a person’s inner self, most physical imperfections become irrelevant.
5. Only you know what you’re capable of. – Unless someone can look into the core of your heart, and see the degree of your passion, or look into the depths of your soul and see the extent of your will, then they have no business telling you what you can or cannot achieve.  Because while they may know the odds, they do not know YOU, and what you’re capable of.  That’s something only you know.
6. Your love creates your happiness. – The happiness you feel is in direct proportion to the love you give.  When you love, you subconsciously strive to become better than you are.  When you strive to become better than you are, everything around you becomes better too.  During your youth, love will be your teacher; in your middle age, love will be your foundation; and in your old age, love will be your fondest memories and your greatest delight.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
7. You earn respect by being respectful. – Respect isn’t something you can demand or manipulate by saying what you think people want to hear.  You earn respect by listening, acknowledging feelings and treating others with the same respect you hope to get in return.  Treat everyone with kindness and respect, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are.
8. Negativity poisons the soul. – Don’t let needless drama and negativity stop you from being the best you can be.  Avoid the drama, and focus on what truly matters.  Life is insanely short and your time is precious, so don’t waste your time on trivial matters.  Let go of the things that are weighing you down.  As you unclutter your life, you will slowly free yourself to answer the callings of your inner spirit.
9. Your health is your life. – Regardless of the size and shape of your body, it is the greatest tool you will ever own.  Without it, you wouldn’t be alive.  How you take care of it or fail to take care of it can make an enormous difference in the quality of your life.  Exercise to be fit, not skinny.  Eat to nourish your body.  To truly be your best, you must give your body the fuel it needs.  Toss the junk and fill your kitchen with fresh, whole foods.  Run, swim, bike, walk – sweat!  Good health is essential for having the energy, stamina and outlook to tackle your goals and dreams.
10. Letting go is part of moving on to something better. – You will not get what you truly deserve if you’re too attached to the things you’re supposed to let go of.  Sometimes you love, and you struggle, and you learn, and you move on.  And that’s okay.  You must be willing to let go of the life you planned for so you can enjoy the life that is waiting for you.
11. This moment is a gift. – The truth is, your whole life has been leading up to this moment.  Think about that for a second.  Every single thing you’ve gone through in life, every high, every low, and everything in between, has led you to this moment right now.  This moment is priceless, and it’s the only moment guaranteed to you.  This moment is your ‘life.’  Don’t miss it.  Read Tuesdays with Morrie.
12. Your choices design your life. – You have a choice each and every single day.  Choose to appreciate what you have.  Choose to make time for yourself.  Choose to do something that makes you smile.  Choose to be excited.  Choose to laugh at your own silliness.  Choose to spend time with positive people.  Choose to be persistent with your goals.  Choose to try again and again.  Within your choices lie all the tools and resources you need to design the life of your dreams, it’s just a matter of choosing wisely.

by. Marc

Three Ways to Embrace Mistakes as Life's Lessons

There are no mistakes in life; only lessons. What this means is that whenever something happens, there is a gem for you to learn from. If you can learn to accept mistakes, shortcomings, and unwanted events as opportunities for learning and personal growth, then you'll feel less stressed and fearful, you'll be more confident and self-assured, and your life experience will be more rewarding and fun.

If you do something incorrectly or wrong, or you do something that makes you feel bad, you may get angry with yourself. Most of us have a habit of beating ourselves up mentally over and over again.

The fact is that when you make a mistake, there is a lesson for you to learn. Mistakes are gifts. They offer you the opportunity to explore an area where perhaps you are deficient, need additional knowledge or training, or need to reevaluate your approach. Perhaps you were rushing. Whatever the reason, if you take the time to explore what happened, you can learn what you need to know to correct the situation and to put systems in place so that this same mistake does not recur.

Some people refuse to accept that they did anything wrong. It was someone else or it was the system. This is known as a victim mentality. They rationalize, deny, make excuses, justify, and blame. These people have not yet learned to accept responsibility for themselves and for their actions.

When you do something wrong or something doesn't quite work out the way you want, there are ways of managing it so that you learn the lesson, move on from it, and grow stronger in the process. By adopting these three approaches to life, you can learn to handle yourself gracefully and deepen your relationships with yourself and with others.

1) Be open to making mistakes

Accept that you're human and that each of us will do things we regret. Each of us will take a wrong turn, hurt someone's feelings, or make bad choices. Be open to making mistakes and embrace them as an opportunity to learn valuable life lessons. They hurt sometimes - a lot of the time. But if you open to learning from your mistakes, you will be able to move on rather than wallowing in regret or disappointment. If you don't learn the lesson, it will repeat itself again and again in different situations until you get it. Experience is a hard teacher.

2) Be aware

In other words, look for areas of improvement. Be on the lookout for "mistakes" or ways to strengthen your character. Be aware of what you are doing, why you are doing it, how you feel, and how you make others feel. This way of thinking is about being proactive and seeking betterment to avoid unnecessary blunders. If you are aware of how your behaviors impact others, then you can determine whether that is enhancing or hurting your relationships.

You are responsible for how you are received by others. This is a matter of emotional intelligence. You must be aware of the impact your words and actions have on others. Sometimes, your words just don't land right or you say something but it is not what you meant to say. People have difficulty expressing what they really mean. By being fully aware of how you impact others, you maintain an open state of learning which allows you to constantly practice being a better person - a better you.

3) Accept full responsibility for yourself and your life

Whatever happens, whenever you make a mistake or you are involved in a misunderstanding, take responsibility. There is always something to be learned or improved even if the other person was wrong too.

Accepting responsibility is liberating. Yes, it's hard to admit you were wrong. But it demonstrates strength, courage, and a commitment to personal excellence. It's respectful. By doing so, you demonstrate that you care about yourself and the other person.

When you accept full responsibility for yourself, you also accept responsibility for making things right. If something was done poorly, then you can fix it. If something was misunderstood, then focus on building greater understanding in your relationships. When you accept responsibility, you demonstrate the highest level of respect for yourself and others. And you learn to make better choices to avoid problems, mistakes, and misunderstandings in the future.

By being open to learning life's lessons from every event, situation, and encounter; by maintaining an awareness of how you are received in relationships with others; and by accepting complete responsibility for yourself; you empower yourself to create richer, more meaningful relationships with others. You also will also develop more self-respect and learn to stop beating yourself up over your mistakes; instead taking responsibility, making things right where necessary, and committing yourself to developing greater integrity and a more mature character.

By Julie Fuimano, Personal & Career Coach

Negative Energy - How To Avoid It!

Where does negative energy come from? Some of it is from the other people we spend time with. Don't we all know people who just suck away our energy? However, it also comes from our own thinking habits. Here are some examples of both sources of negativity and what you can do about them.

Negative Energy People

Perhaps you have a friend who needs to challenge everything you say. Some people you know may point out the negative aspects of everything. Then there are those who are just plain depressed and who seem to want the world to join them.

What can you do about these "negative energy people"? First recognize that it isn't always just that person. It is often the way you interact with that person. For example, a critical person can be a useful person if critical analysis is what you need at that moment. However, such a person may drain your energy if you waste your time defending yourself from their petty and unnecessary comments. Ignore them or ask the person to stop!

There are other ways to change the negative energy between you and another. One way is to talk about something you both have a common interest in. This can dissolve the negativity, unless it is a very depressing topic. Another simple technique is to ask negative people for some good news. Get them to tell you about anything that is going well in their lives. It's hard to maintain negative feelings when talking about something good. This one really does work most of the time.

If the above ways don't work, or if the person is just always depressing, the solution is simple, but not necessarily easy - spend less time with that person. You have to spend some time with unpleasant people, of course. They could even be people you love. However, you have no obligation to take part in their negative thinking, and you can reduce your exposure.

Negative Energy From Our Thinking

At times, don't we all produce our own share of negative energy? It comes from primarily one place - our thoughts. You may have heard the saying, "change your thinking, change your life." Don't believe it? Start to imagine all the things you need to do and all the things that could go wrong in your future, and see if you aren't feeling more stressed. The lesson here is obvious: Drop your negative thinking.

It is a simple, but not always an easy solution. Start by watching your mind. When does it indulge in negativity, and what triggers it? What can you change to trigger it less or discourage it? You don't want to ignore problems that you need to pay attention to, but how often do you do the same five minutes of thinking about a problem fifty times over? Just do what you need to do and drop it!

The flip side of negative thoughts is positive ones. This doesn't mean you need to be overly optimistic. You can change your state of mind by simply recognizing of all the good things you already have in your life. Continually thinking about the advantages you have, the good things about your character, and the wonderful things you have seen and are seeing, makes it difficult to feel very negative.

Start doing what you have to. For example, if it's difficult for you to remember to think positively, write a list of the things you are grateful for. Then put it in your pocket and pull it out and read it from time to time. Maybe you can experiment with affirmations. Start watching for things that are going right in your life and pay attention to those. Positive and negative energy come from where you aim your mind. Why not choose better places?

By Steven Gillman

10 Feel Good Thoughts for a Bad Day.

Sometimes I catch myself staring at the people around me – studying their mannerisms and expressions.  I wonder, “What is their story?  What are they searching for?  What makes their heart beat with happiness, with sorrow, with fear, with longing?”  And then I ask myself, “What words might I post on this blog to inspire them, and to remind them that, even on the toughest of days, our hearts all beat for these same things?”

Today I figured I’d share some of these words with you…

1. We are all in this together. – Nobody has it easy, we all have issues.  When you look at a person, any person, remember that everyone has a story.  Everyone has gone through something that has changed them, and forced them to grow.  Every passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours.  You will never know exactly what they are going through, and they will never know exactly what you are going through.  We are all fighting our own unique war.  But we are fighting through it simultaneously, together.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
2. You aren’t supposed to be perfect. – Live life.  Experience everything.  Take care of yourself and those closest to you.  Have fun – be a little crazy and weird.  Go out and make mistakes – you’re going to anyway.  Enjoy yourself, and exploit the countless opportunities to learn something along the way.  Figure out what works and what doesn’t.  Don’t try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human and being YOU.
3. There are reasons to smile all around you. – A teenage girl blushed when I caught her playfully tickling her boyfriend as he looked for a book in the library – I smiled.  A middle aged man got down on his knees and lovingly scratched his dog behind the ears as they waited to cross the street – I smiled.  A little girl skipped in bright white shoes that were obviously new, happily kicking her feet far out in front of her to admire them – I smiled.  On days when you don’t have much in your life to smile about, watch those who do and you’ll smile too.
4. Tough times help us grow. – We work hard to disown the parts of our lives that were painful, difficult, or sad.  But just as we can’t rip chapters out of a book and expect the story to still make sense, so we cannot rip past chapters out of our lives and expect our lives to still make sense.  Keep every chapter of your life intact, and keep on turning the pages.  Sooner or later you’ll get to a page that brings it all together and you’ll suddenly understand why every page and chapter before it was needed.
5. Repetition is not failure. – In those frustrating moments when you find yourself standing face to face with an issue you battled before – one bearing a lesson you were sure you’d already learned – remember, repetition is not failure.  Ask the waves, ask the leaves, ask the wind. Repetition is sometimes required to evolve and grow.
6. No matter what, you have a purpose. – Having a bad day?  It’s okay.  Put your hand on your heart.  Feel that?  That’s called ‘purpose.’  You’re alive for a reason.  Don’t give up.  You may lose the people you love.  You may lose the things you have.  But no matter happens, never lose yourself.  Read A New Earth.
7. Being true to yourself is always the best option. – Being true to yourself is way better than being a liar just to impress everyone else.  Don’t change so people will like you.  You may not live up to everyone’s standards, but there are people out there who will love you just the way you are.  And besides, people will judge you regardless, so you might as well be yourself when they do.
8. You don’t always have to be happy and cheerful. – Sometimes you have to deal with issues and show others your uncomfortable side.  It’s perfectly okay – it’s a natural part of being human.  And the good news is that these tough moments will often show you who will accept you at your worst and who won’t.
9. Right now is a fresh start. – Talk about your blessings more than you talk about your problems.  It’s a bright new day – a new beginning.  Your future is too bright to waste it fighting needless battles with old issues from the past.  Read The Power of Now.
10. It’s okay to let some things go. – You need to understand that none of us are playing with marked cards; sometimes we win and sometimes we lose – life always finds its balance.  Don’t expect to get back everything you give, don’t expect recognition for all your efforts, and don’t expect your genius to be instantly discovered or your love to be understood by everyone.  As you live and experience things, you must recognize what works and what doesn’t, what belongs and what doesn’t, and then let things go when you know you should.  Not out of pride, inability, or arrogance, but simply because not everything is supposed to fit into your life.  Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get rid of the dust.  Stop being who you were so you can become who you are.

By. Marc 

Be Grateful.

Be Grateful

Be grateful that you don't already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be grateful when you don't know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be grateful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

Be grateful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be grateful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.

Be grateful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be grateful when you're tired and weary
Because it means you've made a difference.

It is easy to be grateful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.

- Unknown

30 Ways To Live A Life Of Excellence!

"Excellence is the result of caring more than others thinks is wise, risking more than others think is safe, dreaming more than others think is practical, and expecting more than others thinks is possible." ~ Uknown

Here are the top 30 ways to live a life of excellence:

1. Discover your purpose. – Our physical life started when we were born.  Our real life starts when we discover our purpose.  What is your purpose?  What is your mission statement for your life?  Mine is, “To touch others’ lives, help them achieve their highest potential and live their best lives.”  This one statement gives me clarity and focus on what to do, from my daily plans to my long-term goals.
2. Follow your passion. – To do what you love is truly the only way to live.  Don’t just pursue as a hobby; turn it into your career.  I didn’t use to be a personal development blogger or a coach.  I was a marketing major and I was working in brand management as a career.  However, it wasn’t my passion.  So a year and a half ago, I quit my regular job to pursue my real passion.  Despite having no experience in the personal development industry, I slowly carved my niche in this area and established myself and my expertise.  Today I’m pursuing my passion as a career, and loving it.
3. Set your goals. – If you can have whatever you want, what would you like?  What are your biggest goals and dreams?  Set them.  The life I’m living today is a result of goals I set in the past.  If you don’t set any goals, it’s safe to say that you’ll be running in place for the foreseeable future.  Is that what you want?
4. Create a life handbook. – A life handbook is a concept I created where you have a book to write your life purpose, goals, dreams, plans, values, mottos, and other things that are important to you as you pursue your best life.  I started my life handbook in 2007 and it has been my #1 tool to living my life to the fullest. 
5. Have the right mindset. – The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your thoughts.  If you think life sucks, life will indeed suck.  On the other hand, if you are set to live your best life, the paths will open up in front of you.  Maybe it’s all the ‘good triumphing over evil’ I firmly believe that where there’s a will, there’s a way.  No one can stop you if you have the right mindset.
6. Create your bucket list. – A bucket list is a list of things to do before you die.  All of us are going to die one day.  What are all the things you want to do/see/say/experience before you die?  It can be seeing the world, living your dreams, going skydiving, falling in love, among countless others.  I created my bucket list last year with over 100 things, and every day I accomplish what’s on it and add new things I want to do.  
7. Get mentors. – You have dreams and big visions, and there are people who have likely been there and done that.  Get them to mentor you.  It’ll definitely cut down the learning curve and ease your journey.  With a mentor, you can unlock your potential and achieve so much more.
8. Stop worrying so much. – The majority of our fears exist only in our head.  Get rid of them and spend the energy on something productive.
9. Get closer with your parents. – Many of us only have functional relationships with our family.  Some of us might even have estranged family relationships.  I know I used to have that, then I realized it was foolish.  Our parents went through a lot of hardship by bringing us up, and no one’s ever going to share a connection to us the way they do.  Today I’m much closer to my parents than I was in the past, and I’m grateful for that.
10. Let go of negative friendships. – If you have friends who discourage you and pull you down, it’s time to get rid of them.  Getting rid might be too harsh for some, so distancing is a good alternative.  I had several negative friends in the past, then I just reduced contact.  Instead of wasting time and energy resisting them, I was then able to focus my energy on people and things that make me happy.
11. Surround yourself with positive people. – Do you know you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with?  Your attitudes, beliefs, accomplishments and success are a function of the people you spend time around.  Think about the people who inspire you and spend more time with them.  You’ll be amazed at the effects they’ll have on you.
12. Release your limits. – They say the sky is the limit.  I disagree.  We are our own limits.  It’s then about releasing our limits so we can live our best lives.  What are you limiting yourself from doing?  Stop holding yourself back.  Go out and get what you want.
13. Believe in yourself. – The majority of the times I’ve been able to achieve something is because I started out believing I could do it, rather than acquiring that belief after I achieved it.  If I didn’t think I could do it, I probably would never have succeeded.  My past experiences have taught me that all you need to have in order to succeed is to have a sense of self-belief - a sense that you can control your own future.  That’s all.
14. Wake up early. – I used to wake up late every day, like 9-10am.  I never thought much about waking up early until a couple of years ago.  After I switched to waking early at 5am, my days have been incredible.  I feel more productive, I get more done, I’m more eager to work to keep the momentum going.  It’s something you have to try yourself to know the difference.
15. Eat a healthy diet. – A healthy diet just-starts a life of excellence.  What’s in your daily diet?  Junk?  Fast food?  Fried food?  Or healthy, nutritious food?  Fruits?  Vegetables?  I’ve been a vegan since 2008 and have been loving it.  While I tried it out as just a 30-day trial, I immediately saw the benefits of being a vegan and stayed the course ever since.  
16. Exercise regularly. – Aside from a regular gym routine, try other sports to spice it up your workouts.  Frisbee, badminton and swimming are some of my favorite sports.  These make exercising a lot more fun.
17. Plan your days. – Do you plan your days?  Did you wake up today knowing what you are supposed to do today?  If not, maybe it’s time you do.  Planning doesn’t have to be long and tedious, it can just be a 30 second process.  Every night, think about a few small things that you want to accomplish tomorrow and write them down.  When you wake up the next morning, review this list before you do anything else.
18. Nurture those whom you love. – The magical feeling of love.  The fluttering of your heart.  The internal smile you get when you think of those who you care for most.  It’s impossible to live a life of excellence without sharing quality time with those whom you love.
19. Try something new. – Routines stagnate us.  New experiences help us grow and they make life interesting.  Make an effort to try something new every week.  I get very invigorated whenever I’m doing something new.  It can be a whole new activity or just a small experience, such as talking to a stranger.
20. Stop watching TV. – Why stop watching TV?  The bulk of content on TV is consciousness lowering.  TV has been proven by research to be linked with lower life satisfaction.  TV ads motivate you spend more money frivolously.  TV wastes lots and lots of time.  I could go on forever.  I quit regular TV watching almost 5 years ago and never looked back.  I recently wrote an article on my blog called 10 Reasons To Stop Watching TV and found out a good number of my readers dropped TV in their lives as well.  Try it out for 21-days and see how you feel.  
21. Stop obsessing over the news. – A lot of news today resonates with fear, guilt, shame and hate.  Depending on your news source, many are largely sensationalized and biased as well.  You don’t need to watch the news every day for an hour to know that there are car accidents, murders and wars out there.  Focus your energy on how you can address those problems instead.
22. Don’t be trapped by dogma. – Don’t feel compelled to follow others all the time.  Pave your own path.  Follow your heart.  Don’t fall into the trap of operating on everyone’s whim.  Listening is okay, but doing what everyone wants is simply unhealthy.  Execute the good feedback and follow your vision.
23. Be compassionate. – Show love and kindness to all the people around you.  Respect everyone.  They may not react in a kind way immediately, but they will notice and appreciate your kindness. To love is to be human.
24. Smile more. – It takes more muscles to frown than to smile.  So let’s smile more often.  
25. Criticize less, appreciate more. – Do you like overly critical people?  I’m sure you don’t.  They are a dread to be around.  So let’s be less critical.  Don’t stare so hard at what’s missing.  Learn to see and appreciate what’s there instead.
26. Keep a journal to self-reflect. – I had a paper journal for several years, but after I started The Personal Excellence Blog I use the blog as my journal.  By having a place to freely let out our thoughts and ponder over them, we get a lot more clarity about ourselves.  
27. Forgive those who hurt you. – To forgive is to let go of a prisoner and to realize that the prisoner all along was you.  Don’t hold on to past hatred.  Let it go.  You’ll find new, wonderful things entering your life once you do.
28. Enrich your mind great books. – Books contain concentrated volumes of wisdom.  It’s not surprising then that most knowledgeable people are also very well-read.  
29. Coach someone. – There’s no better way to learn than to teach others.  Is there someone who can benefit from your help?  Offer to coach them for free.  It’ll be an enlightening experience for both of you.
30. Meet new people. – Most humans have a habit of stagnating in a small circle of friends, but it doesn’t help us grow.  Get out there and meet new people.  You’ll be surprised at the lessons they will teach you and the new opportunities they will inject into your life.

Act now.  We only live once.  Let’s live our lives in excellence.

Celestine Chua 

How Do Appreciation & Gratitude Affect Your Life?

I am a big believer in using the power of gratitude to create positive changes. Being constantly aware of your many blessings, and feeling grateful for them, can have a huge impact on the quality of your life. When you are filled with appreciation, it quite literally changes the dynamic of your reality.

I find it truly amazing how one, simple, positive action can change so much in a person’s life. In fact, recognizing the profound power of gratitude is one of the things that have had a huge effect on my life. It has made me a more positive and caring person. It has also made me a better husband, father, and friend. I can honestly say that in some very tangible ways, gratitude has made my life better.

Harness the power of gratitude.

Now you might not get the same exact benefits as I have, but I can pretty much guarantee that practicing gratitude and appreciation can change your life as well.  There’s no doubt in my mind that the simple act of being grateful on a regular basis will change your perception in very positive ways. How many other simple strategies do you know that can make such a claim?

Let’s take a look at some practical ways that you can start incorporating gratitude into your life so you can start enjoying the benefits immediately. Of course, these are just some examples based on my personal experience and the experiences of others I’ve talked with. Obviously, not all of them will apply to you, so just choose the ones that you feel comfortable with.

7 ways to improve your life with gratitude.

1. Have a morning gratitude review. 
Make it a daily ritual to take one minute in the morning to think of all the people and things in your life that you are grateful for. You won’t get to everything in one minute’s time, but it’s enough to get you thinking in the right direction. A simple gratitude review will instantly set the tone for the rest of the day and help you focus your attention on other things to appreciate about your life. Can you think of a better use of one minute?

2. When you are having a hard day, make a gratitude list. 
We all have those challenging days from time to time. During those difficult days it can be hard to maintain a positive outlook. One of the things that can make a bad day much better is to take a break and make a list of all the things you are thankful for. No matter what you are going through, there are always things to be thankful for. Making a list of those things will shift your focus and make you feel much more resourceful.

3. Instead of getting mad at someone, show gratitude. 
I know this isn’t always the easiest thing because it requires a complete reversal in attitude. But I can promise you that it’s a great thing to do for your own peace of mind. If you get mad, try to bite your tongue and resist the temptation to react in anger. Instead, take some deep breaths, calm down, and try to think of reasons you’re grateful for that person. Find something, anything, even if it’s something very small. Then focus only on that reason to feel grateful. Slowly your mood will begin to shift away from anger toward a more empowering state.

4. Instead of criticizing, show gratitude. 
This is similar to the strategy above, but much less challenging. This simple tactic can literally transform an important relationship like a marriage. If you constantly criticize your spouse, your marriage will slowly deteriorate. Yes, it’s important to be able to talk out problems, but no one likes to be criticized all the time. So, when you find yourself feeling the urge to criticize, stop and get a grip on yourself. Now take a moment to think about all the reasons you are truly grateful for your spouse. Then share that gratitude, as soon as possible and watch as your relationship becomes stronger.

5. When you face a major challenge, be grateful for it. 
Many people will see difficulties as a reason to complain and feel sorry for themselves. Trust me, that attitude won’t get you anywhere. Instead, try to see the positive aspects associated with those difficult experiences. Could you appreciate them as an opportunity to learn and grow? This simple change in perception can transform a challenge into something positive with possible long term benefits. But for that to happen we need to cultivate an attitude of gratitude.

6. Express gratitude to others at every opportunity. 

Say thank you whenever someone shows you the least bit of consideration. Doing this will make you feel better and it will encourage others to be more considerate. There are plenty of rude and inconsiderate people in the world, but you can be a force for good simply by spreading some gratitude around. Be on the lookout for even small acts of kindness. When you notice them be quick to express appreciation and watch what happens. You can use the power of your gratitude to help others feel good about themselves.

7. Focus on what you have not what you don’t have. 
Have you ever looked around you and felt shortchanged because the place you live isn’t your dream house or the car you drive isn’t as nice as you would like? It’s easy to forget that there are billions of people who are much worse off than you are. Those people would be so grateful to have what you have.  When you compare your life to these people’s lives, you can’t help but feel grateful for the life you have.  You may not have everything, but you must admit that you have been blessed in many ways.

Make the shift and enjoy the benefits.

The more you focus on gratitude the more you will appreciate your life and the happier you will be. An appreciative attitude will also make you more aware of your blessings and prevent you from taking them for granted. Remember, the happiest people are not the ones who have the best of everything, they are the ones who are grateful for everything they have.

By. Jonathan Wells

The Purpose of Your Life - Your Life Mission.

How To Find Your True Life's Passion and Purpose:

In order to awaken your true life’s purpose you need to be ready to accept "change". Change may come in the form of a change in consciousness, a change in belief-sets and/or thought-patterns, a distinct career change, a change in lifestyle choices.

Most of us have asked the question in one way or another, “What should I be doing with my life?What’s my purpose?”

This is not an easy question ....

To find your answers:

Listen to your intuition...

Still your thinking, analytical mind. Listen.

Everyone has an inner-voice that acts as our internal radar system and guide. We just have to listen to it and trust it in order to be led by it successfully.

Feelings and messages about our purpose and passion often come as a gnawing thought or a reminder of what sparks your interests and what is important to you. Sometimes some sort of serendipitous situation or event will take place in order to jolt your hidden personal passions and purpose.

Ask yourself: ‘What makes me happy?’ - and answer honestly.

Take the opportunity to really analyse your happiness.

What brings you true Joy? Write a list ... you may see a trend develop.

What is stopping you from pursuing your joys and turning them into a life purpose or mission?

If you are spending a great deal of your time doing menial tasks, working at a job you loathe or living in a way that is unfulfilling for you, recognize and acknowledge this – then be ready for change.

Think about what frustrates you, what excites you, what motivates you, what disinterests you. Take conscious note of your reactions as these may indicate where your true purpose lies.

Ask yourself what you love to do, what you love about yourself, what you love about your life.

Ask yourself what is really important to you? What ‘causes’ do you lean towards? What and/or who inspires you?

How could you make a positive difference to the world for yourself and others? When we live our passions and life purposes we are fulfilled, satisfied and happy. This positive vibration spreads and reverberates to every corner of your life and serves as an example for others to follow.

"Trust yourself to make the right choices for YOU. Listen to your inner-voice – then trust it."

Sometimes your inner voice may lead you along a path that could bring you great personal joy and fulfilment, but may seem a little unorthodox, unsuited or inappropriate to family, friends or peers in their view and judgement. Sometimes finding and living your purpose could mean going against the wishes or advice of others, particularly that of close friends and family. Be true to yourself regardless. Walk your own path.

Make your decisions based upon your own personal truths - no one else’s. Have faith and trust in your dreams and follow their lead.

Patience is an important key. Finding your life’s purpose may take time to discover and nurture. Trust that everything happens in divine right timing.

If you are feeling unfulfilled and know there is "more to life" out there for you, take the time, patience and commitment to find your true life purpose. Once you find your passion and begin to live your purpose, it will be well worth it for you for the rest of your life.

"If you can't figure out your life's purpose, figure out your passion, for your passion will lead you right into your purpose." ~ Bishop T.D. Jakes

By. Joanne from the website "SACRED SCRIBES"

Free Yourself By “Letting Go” of What You Can’t Control.

We all want to feel like we’re in control of our life and are masters of our destiny.

Think of a time when things started to feel out of control in your life. How did you feel? What did you do?

Did you do everything in your power to regain control, and cling to the little bit of direction you had left?

Many people become consumed with what they can’t control and obsessed with making things different.

"If we ever want true emotional well-being and spiritual freedom we have to learn to “let go” of what we can’t control."

When we dwell on what is out of our control, whether something that happened to us in the past, or something we’re awaiting in the future, it prevents us from experiencing the beauty in the moment and having peace of mind.

The paradox of control

The more we try to control things the less control we will experience. Things will inevitably be different than we expect and can change in an instant. When we can embrace that things are ever changing we begin to loosen our grip on the many areas of life we try to hold sway over.

When we desire control and don’t have it, it leads to worrying and agitation. We become irrational and start thinking about all the negative things that could happen. The more control we crave the more we begin to live from fear and desperation.

Here are a few ideas to help you “let go”.

Is it that you can’t or you won’t?

This is an important question to ask yourself to help you “let go” of the emotional burden that comes with a desire for control. Ask yourself, “Is this a situation where I can’t change or I won’t change.”

Sometimes we feel like we can’t make a change, “I can’t quite my job.” “I can’t give up this salary.” “I can’t get into college.” “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t…” Statement such as these set us up to feel out of control.

Usually it’s not that we can’t, but that we won’t.

When we can accept we won’t change it makes it much easier to let go and move forward. From this perspective, we have a choice in the matter.

Accentuate the positive

When we don’t feel in control it’s easy to focus on what’s going wrong and how terrible things are. We start to feel dis-empowered and lose perspective on our capabilities.

We may start catastrophizing about all the horrible things that could happen and have trouble looking beyond the immediate situation.

By learning to focus on what’s going right and not letting our situation consume our thoughts, we not only experience less distress but will be able to think more clearly and problem solve more effectively.

Stay mindful and breath

Mindfulness is an approach to experiencing life moment by moment. When we are mindful we can deal with our situation without being judgmental or critical of ourselves or the circumstances.

When we feel unpleasant we don’t have to get caught up in this. We can relax and step back, instead of brooding in this negative state.

Work to be mindful of your breath. Just pay attention to your natural breathing. You can also be mindful of your senses, or your thoughts. The goal is to remain present and nonjudgmental of what is taking place.

Being aware can help simplify a situation and make if easier to deal with it.

Visualize your desired outcome

Visualization is one of the most powerful ways to overcome fears and push past uneasiness. All successful musicians, athletes, and performers visualize themselves completing the task that awaits them.

Visualization is different than simply day dreaming or fantasizing about an outcome we desire. We must take action and put in the work necessary to make a change.

Despite what is taking place at the time we can visualize a successful outcome. This will give us psychological and emotional support to stay motivated and able to persevere, and it will keep our thinking focused on what we desire and prevent us from feeling overwhelmed or panicked.

Keep a sense of humor

Have you ever noticed that when things aren’t going the way we planned, even the smallest things can start to cause stress? When under stress we become overly serious and neglect the many moments of pleasure and gratification that surround us.

Humor can really cut tension and lighten-up a difficult situation.

When things seem bleak looking at things from a humorous perspective can help lighten the load. Look for humor in serious situations and use this as a tool to release your grip on control.

Focus on what you can control

When life seems completely out of control, there is always something amidst the chaos that can help us regain a sense of control.

It may be something very small, and if nothing else we can always learn to control our attitude.

We can’t control everything that takes place, but we can learn to focus on what we can do personally and how we can make a change. This helps us move beyond a victim mentality and to feel empowered to take action.

 Joe Wilner M.A. C.C.P.

When it comes to love.

"When it comes to love, so many times it is so hard to let go of what we can't control because we are busy holding on to false expectations. Emotionally attaching yourself to your own sentiments rather than facing reality can actually make you a victim of your own personal desires. Everyone is uniquely different, with personalities, standards and limitations. Where one can give abundantly, someone else may not be able to give at all. To put expectations on others of that which I expect of myself, is not fair to them or me. More times than not, this leads to disappointment and dissension. Hold on to hope, but let go of expectations. What will be will be. You can’t make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to the person to realize your worth." 

Wishing you...

"Wishing you laughter to put a song in your heart and fill your days with smiles.

Wishing you wonder to spark your imagination and add a special richness to life.

Wishing you beauty to delight our senses and color your dreams with joy."

~ Unknown

12 Things You Should Be Able to Say About Yourself.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
- Mae West

You know you’re on the right track when you can repeat each of the following headlines to yourself, honestly.  (And if you can’t, this list gives you something positive to work on.)

1.  I am following my heart and intuition.

Don’t be pushed by your problems.  Be led by your dreams.  Live the life you want to live.  Be the person you want to remember years from now.  Make decisions and act on them.  Make mistakes, fall and try again.  Even if you fall a thousand times, at least you won’t have to wonder what could have been.  At least you will know in your heart that you gave your dreams your best shot.

Each of us has a fire in our hearts burning for something.  It’s our responsibility in life to find it and keep it lit.  This is your life, and it’s a short one.  Don’t let others extinguish your flame.  Try what you want to try.  Go where you want to go.  Follow your own intuition.  Dream with your eyes open until you know exactly what it looks like.  Then do at least one thing every day to make it a reality.

And as you strive to achieve your goals, you can count on there being some fairly substantial disappointments along the way.  Don’t get discouraged, the road to your dreams may not be an easy one.  Think of these disappointments as challenges – tests of persistence and courage.  At the end of the road, more often than not, we regret what we didn’t do far more than what we did.  Read Quitter.

2.  I am proud of myself.

You are your own best friend and your own biggest critic.  Regardless of the opinions of others, at the end of the day the only reflection staring back at you inthe mirror is your own.  Accept everything about yourself – EVERYTHING!  You are you and that is the beginning and the end – no apologies, no regrets.

People who are proud of themselves tend to have passions in life, feel content and set good examples for others.  It requires envisioning the person you would like to become and making your best efforts to grow.

Being proud isn’t bragging about how great you are; it’s more like quietly knowing that you’re worth a lot.  It’s not about thinking you’re perfect – because nobody is – but knowing that you’re worthy of being loved and accepted.  All you have to do is be yourself and live the story that no one else can live – the story of your own unique life.  Be proud, be confident, you never know who has been looking at you wishing they were you.

3.  I am making a difference.

Act as if what you do makes a difference.  It does.

Is it true that we all live to serve?  That by helping others we fulfill our own destiny?  The answer is a simple ‘yes.’  When you make a positive impact in someone else’s life, you also make a positive impact in your own life.  Do something that’s greater than you – something that helps someone else to be happy or to suffer less.

You are only one, but you are one.  You cannot do everything, but you can do something.  Smile and enjoy the fact that you made a difference – one you’ll likely remember forever.

4.  I am happy and grateful.

Happiness is within you, in your way of thinking.  How you view yourself and your world are mindful choices and habits.  The lens you choose to view everything through determines how you feel about yourself and everything that happens around you.

Being grateful will always make you happy.  If you’re finding it hard to be grateful for anything, sit down close your eyes and take a long slow breath and be grateful for oxygen.  Every breath you take is in sync with someone’s last.

5.  I am growing in to the best version of me.

Judy Garland once said, “Always be a first rate version of yourself instead of a second rate version of somebody else.”  Live by this statement.  There is no such thing as living in someone else’s shoes.  The only shoes you can occupy are your own.  If you aren’t being yourself, you aren’t truly living – you’re merely existing.

Remember, trying to be anyone else is a waste of the person you are.  Embrace that individual inside you that has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else.  Be the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms.  Improve continuously, take care of your body and health, and surround yourself with positivity.  Become the best version of you.

6.  I am making my time count.

Time is the most valuable constituent of life.  Make the time for what does matter today.  Really being in the moment, finding passion in your life, seeing the world and traveling, or just seeing the world that’s around you right now, being with great people, doing amazing things, eating amazing food and savoring life’s little pleasures.

Remember, your time is priceless, but it’s free. You can’t own it, but you can use it.  You can spend it, but you can’t keep it.  Once you’ve lost it you can never get it back.  You really do only have a short period to live.  So let your dreams be bigger than your fears and your actions louder than your words.  Make your time count!

7.  I am honest with myself.

Be honest about what’s right, as well as what needs to be changed.  Be honest about what you want to achieve and who you want to become.  Be honest with every aspect of your life, always.  Because you are the one person you can forever count on.

Search your soul, for the truth, so that you truly know who you are.  Once you do, you’ll have a better understanding of where you are now and how you got here, and you’ll be better equipped to identify where you want to go and how to get there.  Read The Four Agreements.

8.  I am good to those I care about.

In human relationships distance is not measured in miles, but in affection.  Two people can be right next to each other, yet miles apart.  So don’t ignore someone you care about, because lack of concern hurts more than angry words.  Stay in touch with those who matter to you.  Not because it’s convenient, but because they’re worth the extra effort.

When was the last time you told your family and close personal friends that you loved them?  Just spending a little time with someone shows that you care, shows that they are important enough that you’ve chosen — out of all the things to do on your busy schedule — to find the time for them.  Talk to them.  Listen to them.  Understand them.

Many times it’s our actions, not just our words that really speak what our heart feels for another.

9.  I know what unconditional love feels like.

Whether your love is towards a child, a lover, or another family member, know the feeling of giving love and not expecting anything in return – this is what lies at the heart of unconditional love.  Life through unconditional love is a wondrous adventure that excites the very core of our being and lights our path with delight.  This love is a dynamic and powerful energy that lifts us through the most difficult times.

Love is beautiful and unpredictable.  It begins with ourselves, for without self-love, we cannot know what true love can be.  In loving ourselves, we allow the feeling to generate within us and then we can share it to everyone and everything around us.  When you love unconditionally, it isn’t because the person you love is perfect, it’s because you learn to see an imperfect person perfectly.

10.  I have forgiven those who once hurt me.

We’ve all been hurt by another person at some point or another – we were treated badly, trust was broken, hearts were hurt.  And while this pain is normal, sometimes that pain lingers for too long.  We relive the pain over and over, letting them live rent-free in our head and we have a hard time letting go.

Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness, it causes us to miss out on the beauty of life as it happens.  To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you.

11.  I take full accountability for my life.

Own your choices and mistakes, and be willing to take the necessary steps to improve upon them.  Either you take accountability for your life or someone else will.  And when they do, you’ll become a slave to their ideas and dreams instead of a pioneer of your own.

You are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life.  And no, it won’t always be easy.  Every person has a stack of obstacles in front of them.  But you must take accountability for your situation and overcome these obstacles.  Choosing not to is choosing a lifetime of mere existence.  Read The Road Less Traveled.

12.  I have no regrets.

This one is simply a culmination of the previous eleven…

Follow your heart.  Be true to yourself.  Do what makes you happy.  Be with who makes you smile.  Laugh as much as you breathe.  Love as long as you live.  Say what you need to say.  Offer a helping hand when you’re able.  Appreciate all the things you do have.  Smile.  Celebrate your small victories.  Learn from your mistakes.  Realize that everything is a lesson in disguise.  Forgive.  And let go of the things you can’t control.

By. Angel Hack