Only once in your life...

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.” 
― Bob Marley

Mindfulness.

"Mindfulness is being aware of yourself, others, and your surroundings in the moment.  When consciously and kindly focusing awareness on life as it unfolds minute by precious minute, you are better able to savor each experience.  Also, being closely attentive gives you the opportunity to change unwise or painful feelings and responses quickly.  In fact, being truly present in a mindful way is an excellent stress reducer and, because of that, can be seen as consciousness conditioning, a strengthening workout for body, mind, heart, and spirit."
~ Sue Patton Thoele

When it comes to love.

"When it comes to love, so many times it is so hard to let go of what we can't control because we are busy holding on to false expectations. Emotionally attaching yourself to your own sentiments rather than facing reality can actually make you a victim of your own personal desires. Everyone is uniquely different, with personalities, standards and limitations. Where one can give abundantly, someone else may not be able to give at all. To put expectations on others of that which I expect of myself, is not fair to them or me. More times than not, this leads to disappointment and dissension. Hold on to hope, but let go of expectations. What will be will be. You can’t make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to the person to realize your worth." 

How to Love Life!

1. 1

   Be optimistic. Think of life in the best way possible, look at the glass as half full, and find the better side of every situation. You would be amazed at how much more there is to life than the negative.
2. 2
   Live every moment to the fullest. Don't waste a single second being sad, bored, orlonely. Get out there and dance, and sing as if no one was around. You never know how much longer you have to do so.
3. 3
   Be selfless. Give more than you receive, and share with others. Do less for yourself, and more for the people around you. Also when you do the right thing you get a fantastic feeling inside.
4. 4
   Laugh often. This is possibly the most important point in this how-to guide. Laughter is the number one most important thing in life. Laugh much, and smile often.
5. 5
   Live in the present. Forget about the past, as there is nothing you can do about it. Don't worry about the future, as what is to come is to come, and if you forget to live in the moment, you would be surprised at how quickly time can slip. Every moment is an opportunity to feel great. Go play with a sibling, a child, or a friend.
6. 6
   Plan Ahead. on the flip side, if you make goals and accomplish them, if you take good care of yourself, if you set aside money for a rainy day, you will have a happier, fuller future and no regrets to bother you.
7. 7
   Accomplish something go read that book, draw that picture, phone that friend, write that letter. whatever it is you've always wanted to do, do it.
8. 8
   Be yourself. Live up to your own standards, not anyone else's. Who cares what others think about you? Who cares if you can't sing, can't dance, or if your clothes don't match. Do what you want to do, and be who you want to be.
9. 9
   Be kind to everyone. Kindness is the key to unlocking your own happiness and joy. If others notice your kindness, they will gratefully return it. Make as many close friends as you can, and help them when they are down, as you never know when you will need them to catch you.
10. 10
    Stand there. At times just standing somewhere peaceful and quiet and thinking about what you have achieved, are about to achieve, or even want to achieve; It will hit you... a feeling of the utmost respect for life.
11. 11
    Do what you enjoy. If you have always wanted to learn something, or feel like improving on something you already do, go for it! Don't let anyone stop you from doing what you love, and if you feel comfortable doing it then don't hold back. If you do, you're going to regret it.
12. 12
    Encourage others to love life. If you have followed the above steps above you are on your way to living a better life, now start to encourage others around you to also love life and spread your message.
13.   By. http://www.wikihow.com
14. 
    

The Secret to Not Caring What People Think.

Whether it is becoming plugged into our identity, quitting alcohol or even becoming more confident, our worry of what people think can really affect us. From the jobs we choose, to the people we date and the risks we take, we often limit our actions through fear of criticism or judgment from others.

This is a serious issue, and a problem many people experience, therefore I’ve taken my personal experience and the advice of others to reveal the secrets to not caring what people think.

Why we Care what people Think

First of all, I want to say that sometimes caring what people think is not a bad idea; the part of our mind that produces this fear is often in place to protect us. For example, if we didn’t care what anybody thought then we might go out and kill somebody or run through shopping centers completely naked. These are extreme examples but should help you understand why the mindset is in place.

I’ve spent months trying to understand why we care what people think, and as (surprisingly) usual, the answer is relatively simple and the heart of what this website is about. The reason we care what people think is because we base our identity on their judgments of us, positive or negative. Because we think that part of our identity is how people view us (funny, cool, confident, shy) then we must protect that so that our identity is not affected. "What people say about you is none of your business." - Sean Stephensen

Of course, your identity is not what people think of you, it is just…you. If you are doing something that makes you feel guilty within, then this is something you will have to deal with beforehand.

How to (partially) not Care what People Think

Personally, I don’t think it is possible to completely stop caring what people think of us, and I don’t think that is such a bad thing. We are social creatures and that is how we learn, if we are acting like an idiot and someone notices then informs us, we may realise that we could have been acting more appropriately.

I realise that this is a very important topic to a lot of people – myself included – and therefore I have gone into detail with the following information to ensure that there is enough content to answer most questions and concerns. 

Imagine how different the world would be if we could all push to do the things we want to do, be the people we want to be and live how we want to live. Imagine how different the world would be if we were all plugged in…that is the aim of this business.

1. Stop Over-thinking

Although this is a website about empowering the readers, you are not the most important person in the world, at least not to others. It is probably in the majority of occasions that you think you are being judged where people don’t actually care for the thing you are worrying about. Do you judge every single person that you meet, probably not.

If you do, you might want to sort out that side of your life first as there’s no wonder you care what people think of you. The best way to test it is to push your limits a little, do something that is a bit out of the ordinary for you and see how people react. Chances are that only your “friends” might notice the change and make comments, but a random stranger really won’t care.

2. Put things into perspective

To people that aren’t naturally concerned what others think about them, having an issue with it seems quite strange or even silly. The reason is that when you put ‘issues’ like this under the microscope you can see they are really not worth having. 

You only get ONE chance at life in the physical world and you are going to allow other people’s thoughts make it less enjoyable?

Sounds silly now doesn’t it.

Apart from the fact that life really is too short to worry about things like this, the other aspect is that people’s feelings change. For example, say one moment people insult you for wearing yellow trainers, therefore you think they shouldn’t be worn and that is the last time you wear them. What if this persons opinions change, and they start wearing yellow shoes themselves; is that the only time you’ll put your trainers back on?

I used to know a boy who was bullied for growing his hair long, yet within 6 months, more than half the boys in my year (including those who insulted him) grew theirs as well. People change their minds, so what they judge you on now might not matter in the future. Are you going to wait until something is deemed cool or acceptable to be the person you want to be? Hopefully questions like this help you put things into perspective.

3. Be confident in your actions

Seeing as it’s likely we’ll always have some thought towards the feelings of others, what if we could really eliminate the amount of times it happens? Well, you can. The trick, if you want to call it that, is to simply be more confident in the decisions and actions you are taking.

Have you never seen someone that might be wearing something out of the ordinary or acting different to the surrounding crowd but things just seem normal and they aren’t being judged?

If you are wearing yellow shoes and are clearly uncomfortable in your choice then people are going to target you because they can see that and they probably want to feel good about themselves. However, if you can wear the shoes with pride and confidence, whilst clearly not caring what other people think then you’ll notice the negative reactions to be very small if any.

4. Learn to control your emotions

When you start to try things like pushing your limits or simply being more confident, you will undoubtedly have mixed emotions in your head. From stress, worry and fear, to relief and happiness, it can be a bit of a mind roller coaster; that is where controlling your emotions comes in.

The simple practice I learned from Eckhart Tolle goes a bit like this:

• Be conscious of an emotion inside you i.e. fear or worry
• Observe it within your mind
• Notice that if you are observing it, it can’t be a part of you
• Watch the emotion disappear

As soon as you observe an emotion, you are separating yourself from it and thus it can no longer exist.

5. Accept yourself for who you are

If you are constantly judging yourself then there will be no doubt to the fact that you’ll judge what other people think of you. The main cause for this is often self-limiting beliefs or society has made you think there is something wrong with you. Understandably, accepting yourself is not the easiest thing to do but there are things that help.

First of all, think of all the things that you don’t like about yourself and write them down. Now, look at them more closely and see if there is a possibility to change them. For example, if you are thin and don’t like that, then look at ways in which you can gain weight and bulk up. However, If you wish you were taller, it’s not exactly something you can change. For this, look at what could be worse, for example if you are 5″ 7′ and really don’t like that, just think that at least you are not 8″ 7′ or even 5″. You might not be at your perfectly desired height but there are people “worse off”.

These things are more of a temporary solution, as if you constantly look towards helping yourself by seeing people who are worse off or looking to change yourself, you can never accept you. As time goes by and you realise how unimportant the things you thought were, actually aren't and things get easier and your level of caring will plummet rapidly.

Glen Allsop

Eliminate the Negatives!

Stop reading the newspaper! Everyone acknowledges that the newspaper is mostly filled with negativity – murder, fire, war, disasters, etc. Stop feeding yourself with it! Believe me, you can’t help but be informed about major stories one way or another. We are bombarded. There is no need to go looking for it.

Stop watching TV news! The same issues that apply to newspapers apply to TV news. And there is one more caution in addition… When you go to sleep at night, the mind starts processing the last things it was exposed to. So, what’s the dumbest thing a person can do just before they go to sleep? WATCH THE TV NEWS!!! Stop watching it.

Stop seeking the negative on the internet! Ever hear the expression, “You get what you focus on”? If you seek out negativity, you find it and it becomes your reality. I had a friend who, as Y2K approached, was absolutely convinced that the world would come to an end (almost literally). Every night, he would spend hours on the internet reading about all the terrible things that were sure to happen at the stroke of midnight. He pleaded with me to stockpile food and water. He never spoke to me again after January 1, 2000. He really believed all his fears would come to fruition. He had sought out and focused on the negatives and came to believe them. Don’t dwell on seeking out and reading about negatives.

Stop hanging around negative people! Ever notice that all the folks with negative, small-minded attitudes always hang out together and all the successful, big-minded people hang out together as well? Coincidence? NO! Remove yourself from the negative crowd. Avoid negative people as much as possible.

Introduce Positives
Start hanging around positive people! Positive association is one of the keys to success. Positive association leads to creativity, partnerships, solutions, and bigger dreams. Mark Twain once said, “Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

Start reading! It’s often said that the books you read and the people you associate with determine where you will be in five years. Where do you want to be? Start reading books about people you admire. Read personal growth books, books on success principles, books about others who overcame challenges, and motivational books.

Start listening! Start using your windshield time as a time to learn and grow. Instead of mindlessly listening to music or talk on the radio, pop in a tape or CD. Listen to audio books, motivational CD’s, or even music that lifts and energizes you. Create a mix of music on tape or CD that gets you and your attitude fired up for that next meeting, presentation, or prospect.

By acquiring, maintaining, and protecting a positive attitude, you will see your success grow and your enjoyment of life improve. You’ll become more attractive (in every way) and will increasingly find other like-minded people to be around.

By. Michael Beck

10 Ways to Stay Positive During Tough Times.

If you’re going through tough times, remember that you always have a choice no matter what the circumstance may be. And the choice is this:

You can either choose to let panic feed on your mind and body, and let it grow stronger at the expense of your life.

Or, you can choose to see your situation in perspective, stay positive, and end the panic then and there.

But, how do you withstand the huge waves of a crisis, let alone being positive about it, while they are coming at you in breakneck speed? Here are a few ways to consider:

1. Quit being a victim. It’s easier to assume the role of a victim during tough times than taking responsibilities for yourself. But doing so will only prolong your suffering and put off people who may be able to help you out. Letting go of the victim label also frees you from resentment and bitterness which will only jam up the creative energies you need to get out of the mess.
2. Take stock with meditation. Meditate on what really happened and your response to the crisis. Learn to see the crisis for what it really is. Begin by practicing breathing meditation, and then ask yourself: “What has really happened in spite of what have been reported? Are my fears and worries real or imaginary? If they are real, what can I do about them?” Contemplate also on the nature of the crises you’ve experienced in the past. Understand that each one has a distinct start and end, and may even exhibit a cyclical trend.
3. Focus on the positives. No matter how dire a situation may be, there are always some positives you can find in it. It’s our unwillingness to look at them that blind us to the brighter sides. In the book, Prisoners of Our Thoughts, the author Alex Pattakos recounted how he managed to pull a female driver to safety when he saw her school van crashed into a parked car. Then in an attempt to calm down the distraught woman, he asked her to list ten positive things about this accident. You probably thought he was insane, but they managed to list the positives which included the fact that the van and the car which she crashed into were both empty at the point of the accident. The attempt may seem absurd but it worked. The driver was calm enough to break into a smile and had probably saved herself from going into a shock. Now it’s your turn, think of ten positive things that would happen from this crisis.
4. Give thanks. Having listed the positives you can think of, give thanks for the current situation as well as the things that you already have. For one, things could be a lot more worse! It won’t be easy to be thankful in the face of harsh challenges, but focusing on what you do have, instead of what you’ve lost, will put you in a better position to solve problems on hands than being in a self-pity and sorrowful state.
5. Reach out to others. Do you know of people who might be badly affected by the crisis? Some may have lost their jobs because their companies were put out of business, while others have suffered huge losses due to stock market crash. Talk to them, listen, and if it’s within your means, offer your help, however small it may be. Helping others who are less fortunate than you also helps you to put things in perspective. And who knows, they may be the ones who lend you a helping hand when the table is turned the next time.
6. Get enough sleep. During stressful time, we’re likely to skip on sleep, either voluntarily or not. But in reality, you’ll need more quality sleep during stressful times than ever so that you can remain energetic, clear-headed and focused to figure out your next steps.
7. Limit bad news intake. Being constantly fed with gloomy news is enough to make even a dog panic for no reason. Hearing bad news once is enough, not ten times of the same news in different versions from every gadget that you own.
8. Join forces with others. When bad things happen, it’s easy to become close-minded. But chances are, you’re not alone during difficult times. There are likely to be many people who feel the same way as you do even though they may not voice out loud. For instance, if you’re worried about job security, recruit the help of your boss by discussing the implications of the crisis on your job and what you can best do to keep it. Your boss will appreciate your proactive approach and may even be glad that there’s someone who shares the same sentiment. If you’re unemployed, besides making trips to recruitment and government agencies to cast your employment net, connect with others who are in the same boat as you. Take this lull period to expand your network. The many talented friends that you’ll make during hard times could become lifetime friendships, and even turn into unexpected help in the future. And if you’re an employer, this is a great time to boost your business with skillful and experienced people to help you ride out the crisis.
9. Get close to nature. Finnish researchers found that spending time in your favorite outdoor area and woodlands are more relaxing and restorative than time spent in your favorite urban settings or city parks. Taking a mindful walk through the woods is also a great way to clear the mind and regain mental balance.
10. Re-evaluate the meaning of your life. Tough times present hard but valuable lessons that force us to re-evaluate the meanings we’ve been attaching to our lives. Ask yourself:“Do the meanings and goals I’ve been living by before the crisis really worthwhile? Through this crisis, what are the things that I’ve found to be really important? And what are those that are not as precious as what I once thought to be?”
    By. Wee Peng Ho

5 Secrets to Loving Yourself.

Self talk, the little voice in your head, the tape that runs over and over; these are all powerful words to describe how you feel about yourself.  If your self esteem and self-talk tends to be filled with put downs and negative affirmations of the essence of you, then how can you ever love yourself?  If you do not love yourself, how can you ever expect anyone else to love you?  Love yourself first!  Love yourself enough.  Empower yourself and you do the work.  The Universal Laws of Attraction suggest that you get and receive as much love as you give out. 

1.  Change your thoughts. What are you feeding your mind?  Have a visual of a stop sign.  When you begin calling yourself down, immediately stop your little voice and replace it with all the wonderful things that you are.

2.  Change your energy.  Garbage in, garbage out.  What are you feeding your body?  If your are feeding it garbage also known as junk food, then how can you expect to feel good about yourself?  Feed your body with healthy foods such as fruits and veggies. 

3.  Change your behavior 1.  What are you feeding your soul? Get an elastic band or something elastic and put it on your wrist.  When you catch yourself and stop yourself from saying something negative about yourself or others, transfer it to your other wrist.  Within one week of bringing this behavior to your conscious attention, you will likely be using more positive self talk.

4.  Change your behavior 2.  What are you feeding your emotions? Confront your fears.  What is the worst possible thing that can happen to you if you do that?  You will love yourself and be empowered with higher self esteem.

5.  Random Acts of Kindness.  Be an angel!  Choose to do something for someone else, preferably a stranger.  The research shows that when we do this we feel better about ourselves.  Keep it a delicious secret that you can hug to yourself!

By. Sherrie Hay

Reflection Questions

1. What are 4 things I say in my head when I get upset with myself? How can I consciously change that self talk habit?
2. What are 4 things I can do to pamper myself so that I feel good today?
3. One a scale of 1-10 how well do I love myself?  5 = average, 10 is top of the scale.
4. What are 4 ways in which I can easily perform an angel act or Random Act of Kindness?

Take a chance performing Life’s dance

Love yourself first!

"Instead of looking for love, give it;

constantly renew it in yourself and

you will always feel its presence within you.

It will always be there smiling at you,

gazing on you kindly."

(Omraam Mikhael Aivanhov)

9 Helpful Tips To Deal With Negative People.

1) Don’t get into an argument.

One of the most important things I learned is not to debate with a negative person. A negative person likely has very staunch views and isn’t going to change that just because of what you said. Whatever you say, he/she can find 10 different reasons to back up his/her viewpoint. The discussion will just swirl into more negativity, and you pull yourself down in the process. You can give constructive comments, and if the person rebutts with no signs of backing down, don’t engage further.

2) Empathize with them.

Have you ever been annoyed by something before, then have someone tell you to “relax”? How did you feel? Did you relax as the person suggested or did you feel even more worked up?

From my experience, people who are negative (or upset for that matter) benefit more from an empathetic ear than suggestions/solutions on what he/she should do. By helping them to address their emotions, the solutions will automatically come to them (it’s always been inside them anyway).

3) Lend a helping hand.

Some people complain as a way of crying for help. They may not be conscious of it though, so their comments come across as complaints rather than requests. Take the onus to lend a helping hand. Just a simple “Are you okay?” or “Is there anything I can do to help you?” can do wonders.

4) Stick to light topics.

Some negative people are triggered by certain topics. Take for example: One of my friends sinks into a self-victimizing mode whenever we talk about his work. No matter what I say (or don’t say), he’ll keep complaining once we talk about work.

Our 1st instinct with negative people should be to help bring them to a more positive place (i.e. steps #2 and #3). But if it’s apparent the person is stuck in his/her negativity, the unhappiness may be too deeply rooted to address in a one-off conversation, or for you to help him/her unravel it. Bring in a new topic to lighten the mood. Simple things like new movies, daily occurrences, common friends, make for light conversation. Keep it to areas the person feels positive towards.

5) Ignore the negative comments.

One way to help the negative person “get it” is to ignore the negative comments. If he/she goes into a negative swirl, ignore or give a simple “I see” or “Ok” reply. On the other hand, when he/she is being positive, reply in affirmation and enthusiasm. Do this often and soon he/she will know positivity pays off. He/she will adjust to be more positive accordingly.

6) Praise the person for the positive things.

Negative people aren’t just negative to others. They’re also negative to themselves. If you already feel negative around them, imagine how they must feel all the time. What are the things the person is good at? What do you like about the person? Recognize the positive things and praise him/her for it. He/she will be surprised at first and might reject the compliment, but on the inside he/she will feel positive about it. That’s the first seed of positivity you’re planting in him/her and it’ll bloom in the long-term.

7) Hang out in 3′s or more people.

Having someone else in the conversation works wonders in easing the load. In a 1-1 communication, all the negativity will be directed towards you. With someone else in the conversation, you don’t have to bear the full brunt of the negativity. This way you can focus more on doing steps #1 (Empathizing) and #2 (Helping the person).

8) Be responsible for your reaction.

Whether the person is negative or not, ultimately you’re the one who is perceiving the person is negative. When you recognize that, actually the negativity is the product of your lens. Take responsibility for your perceptions. For every trait, you can interpret it in a positive and a negative manner. Learn to see the goodness of the person than the negative. It may be tough initially, but once you cultivate the skill, it becomes second nature.

9) Reduce contact with them / Avoid them.

If all else fails, reduce contact with them or avoid them altogether. If it’s a good friend, let him/her know of the severity of the issue and work it out where possible. It’s not healthy to spend too much time with people who drain you. Your time is precious, so spend it with people who have positive effects on you.

By. Celestine Chua

12 Tough Truths that Help You Grow.

As you look back on your life, you will often realize that many of the times you thought you were being rejected from something good, you were in fact being redirected to something better.  You can’t control everything.  Sometimes you just need to relax and have faith that things will work out.  Let go a little and just let life happen.  Because sometimes the truths you can’t change, end up changing you and helping you grow.

Here are twelve such truths…

1. Everything is as it should be.  It’s crazy how you always end up where you’re meant to be – how even the most tragic and stressful situations eventually teach you important lessons that you never dreamed you were going to learn.  Remember, oftentimes when things are falling apart, they are actually falling into place.
2. Not until you are lost in this world can you begin to find your true self.  Realizing you are lost is the first step to living the life you want.  The second step is leaving the life you don’t want.  Making a big life change is pretty scary.  But you know what’s even scarier?  Regret.  Vision without action is a daydream, and action without vision is a nightmare.  Your heart is free, have the courage to follow it.  Read Awaken the Giant Within (Abridged) by Robbins, Anthony/ Robbins, Antho (Google Affiliate Ad)
3. It’s usually the deepest pain which empowers you to grow to your full potential.  It’s the scary, stressful choices that end up beingthe most worthwhile.  Without pain, there would be no change.  But remember, pain, just like everything in life, is meant to be learned from and then released.
4. One of the hardest decisions you will ever face in life is choosing whether to walk away or take another step forward.  If you catch yourself in a cycle of trying to change someone, or defending yourself again someone who is trying to change you, walk away.  But if you are pursuing a dream, take another step.  And don’t forget that sometimes this step will involve modifying your dream, or planning a new one – it’s OK to change your mind or have more than one dream.
5. You have to take care of yourself first.  Before befriending others, you have to be your own friend.  Before correcting others, you have to correct yourself.  Before making others happy, you have to make yourself happy.  It’s not called selfishness, it’s called personal development.  Once you balance yourself, only then can you balance the world around you. Read Psycho-Cybernetics.
6. One of the greatest freedoms is truly not caring what everyone else thinks of you.  As long as you are worried about what others think of you, you are owned by them.  Only when you require no approval from outside yourself, can you own yourself.
7. You may need to be single for awhile before you realize that, although the co-owned belongings from your failed relationships might not have been divided equally, the issues that destroyed the relationships likely were.  For how can you stand confidently alone, or see the same issues arising in your newest relationship, and not realize which broken pieces belong to you?  Owning your issues, and dealing with them, will make you far happier in the long run, than owning anything else in this world.
8. The only thing you can absolutely control is how you react to things out of your control.  The more you can adapt to the situations in life, the more powerful your highs will be, and the more quickly you’ll be able to bounce back from the lows in your life.  Put most simply: being at peace means being in a state of complete acceptance of all that is, right here, right now.
9. Some people will lie to you.  Remember, an honest enemy is better than a friend who lies.  Pay less attention to what people say, and more attention to what they do.  Their actions will show you the truth, which will help you measure the true quality of your relationship in the long-term.
10. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never have enough.  If you are thankful for what you do have, you will end up having even more.  Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold; happiness dwells in the soul.  Abundance is not about how much you have, it’s how you feel about what you have.  When you take things for granted, your happiness gets taken away.  Read The Happiness Project.
11. Yes, you have failed in the past.  But don’t judge yourself by your past, you don’t live there anymore.  Just because you’re not where you want to be today doesn’t mean you won’t be there someday.  You can turn it all around in the blink of an eye by making a simple choice to stand back up – to try again, to love again, to live again, and to dream again.
12. Everything is going to be alright; maybe not today, but eventually.  There will be times when it seems like everything that could possibly go wrong is going wrong.  And you might feel like you will be stuck in this rut forever, but you won’t.  Sure the sun stops shining sometimes, and you may get a huge thunderstorm or two, but eventually the sun will come out to shine.  Sometimes it’s just a matter of us staying as positive as possible in order to make it to see the sunshine break through the clouds again.

Via www.marcandangel.com

12 Ways To Keep A Positive Attitude.

Do you have a positive attitude? More importantly, do other people think you do? Staying upbeat can be challenging when things aren’t going well at work or with the family. Our society understands that and has responded to the problem with a bevy of positive attitude books and power of positive thinking messages. But then we struggle to understand how to have a positive attitude when you lose a job, a marriage fails, or a child is struggling with health problems. While it is possible to exude self-confidence that is reinforced by positive affirmations, it takes consistent effort. Below are 12 reliable tips for improving your state of mind to cultivate a positive attitude.

1. Give thanks for each day.

Whether you say it to yourself or pray about it, express gratitude for all the things you take for granted, including your place to live, family, employment, clothes, neighbors, transportation, education, sunshine, food choices, health, and freedom. Even if you have just some of these things, or small amounts of them—like a high school diploma instead of a college degree—be thankful that you have even that much. Americans enjoy the top 10% of the world’s wealth; now, that’s something to be glad about.

2. Count your personal blessings.

In addition to general gratitude, look for personal benefits in your life. These could include things like a clear mind, a fit body, nice furniture, a social life, leisure time, trustworthy friends, health care insurance, entertainment opportunities, and a host of other things that you wouldn’t notice unless they were taken from you. You can even make a list and add to it as more things come to mind. Then when you are feeling down, read your list to be reminded of all the good things in your life.

3. Do a good deed without telling anyone.

Isn’t it exciting to help people without their knowing it? Imagine the surprise on a single mom’s face when she receives an anonymous delivery of groceries or a gift card for a free oil change. How about a child’s delighted grin when he finds a bicycle with his name on it on the back porch or receives a gift certificate for the athletic equipment store? An elderly neighbor might gasp in shock to find her flower beds weeded one morning. There are plenty of good deeds waiting to be done by caring people like you. The surprising backlash is you will feel better about yourself and the world at large, too.

4. Forgive an old hurt.

Holding a grudge for weeks, months, or years can keep a sour expression on anyone’s face. Contact the person who has wronged you, using email, telephone, or a note card, and express your forgiveness in kind, not controlling words. You will feel empowered by your ability to demonstrate strength of character in humility and forgiveness, which can open the door to restored relations and help you feel better about your magnanimous actions.

5. Ask to be forgiven.

If you have wronged someone but stubbornly refuse to admit it, now is the time to seek forgiveness. Call or write to say you’re sorry. If the recipient of your apology gives you a hard time, thank him for listening and mention you have to get going. By remaining polite and respectful, your apology will let you get the old burden off your chest, no matter how the other person reacts. You’ll feel better, stronger, and freer automatically.

6. Appreciate your belongings.

Have you ever noticed the quality of your hand-sewn leather shoes? How about the unbeatable taste of Grandma’s award-winning apple pie recipe? Do you enjoy the feel of leather in your late-model car? Isn’t it great crashing on your sofa after a trying day at work?

All of these material comforts may seem small when compared to other things, but they are priceless in their own way, providing emotional and physical comfort as well as ownership pride and satisfaction. Be happy that you can afford leather shoes, and that you have a grandmother who bakes, and that you can relax in the privacy of your home. Many people do not have these things.

7. Compliment someone.

When you feel truly lousy and just don’t want to be bothered, say something nice to the next person you see, assuming it isn’t someone to avoid. Making a positive statement about a person’s appearance, attitude, health, or job performance can help him or her feel better, and you will feel good, too, for improving that person’s day.

8. Admire the view.

Find a comfortable seat outdoors and admire the scenery around you. This could be at a small urban park near your workplace during your lunch break, a cluster of trees in your neighborhood, or a country drive in the evening or over the weekend. Pastoral scenes help to rid your mind of stressful images and are conducive for helping you to relax and feel good about nature and life.

9. Donate something.

If you have something in your home that you’re not using, give it to someone who can use it. People in need of these things may appreciate an extra television, a second crock-pot, or a computer printer that you’ve replaced. If you don’t know someone who needs a spare, give it to a donation store and collect the tax receipt. Both outcomes should put a smile on your face.

10. Volunteer to help the needy.

If you have a busy schedule, perhaps helping once a year will be enough. Otherwise, try to donate a few extra hours each month to aid those in need. This might take the form of registering runners in a charitable marathon, delivering meals to shut-ins, or driving elderly persons to doctor appointments. There are numerous ways to offer assistance, which will make you feel needed and appreciated.

11. Sing a song.

Admit it—it’s hard to sing and stay in a bad mood! When you start to feel down and need to get back a positive attitude, hum or sing to yourself a childhood favorite or a contemporary pop hit. Either way, your spirits are bound to be lifted, boosting your self-confidence.

12. Smile!

Whenever you get a case of the grumps, look in the mirror and smile! You will truly smile at seeing your image in an artificial posture of gaiety. Practice your smile in front of the mirror until you find one you like—then share it frequently with those around you to demonstrate the power of positive thinking, as they probably will smile back, thus reinforcing your friendly efforts. Even when you’re sick, angry, or sad, remember to smile as you catch others’ glances at work, in the supermarket, and especially at home among your loved ones. A smile is contagious and promotes good will as well as a favorable impression of the one wearing it.

By Rose Alexander

Free Yourself By “Letting Go” of What You Can’t Control.

We all want to feel like we’re in control of our life and are masters of our destiny.

Think of a time when things started to feel out of control in your life. How did you feel? What did you do?

Did you do everything in your power to regain control, and cling to the little bit of direction you had left?

Many people become consumed with what they can’t control and obsessed with making things different.

If we ever want true emotional well-being and spiritual freedom we have to learn to “let go” of what we can’t control.

When we dwell on what is out of our control, whether something that happened to us in the past, or something we’re awaiting in the future, it prevents us from experiencing the beauty in the moment and having peace of mind.

The paradox of control

The more we try to control things the less control we will experience. Things will inevitably be different than we expect and can change in an instant. When we can embrace that things are ever changing we begin to loosen our grip on the many areas of life we try to hold sway over.

When we desire control and don’t have it, it leads to worrying and agitation. We become irrational and start thinking about all the negative things that could happen. The more control we crave the more we begin to live from fear and desperation.

Here are a few ideas to help you “let go”.

Is it that you can’t or you won’t?

This is an important question to ask yourself to help you “let go” of the emotional burden that comes with a desire for control. Ask yourself, “Is this a situation where I can’t change or I won’t change.”

Sometimes we feel like we can’t make a change, “I can’t quite my job.” “I can’t give up this salary.” “I can’t get into college.” “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t…” Statement such as these set us up to feel out of control.

Usually it’s not that we can’t, but that we won’t.

When we can accept we won’t change it makes it much easier to let go and move forward. From this perspective, we have a choice in the matter.

Accentuate the positive

When we don’t feel in control it’s easy to focus on what’s going wrong and how terrible things are. We start to feel disempowered and lose perspective on our capabilities.

We may start catastrophizing about all the horrible things that could happen and have trouble looking beyond the immediate situation.

By learning to focus on what’s going right and not letting our situation consume our thoughts, we not only experience less distress but will be able to think more clearly and problem solve more effectively.

Stay mindful and breath

Mindfulness is an approach to experiencing life moment by moment. When we are mindful we can deal with our situation without being judgmental or critical of ourselves or the circumstances.

When we feel unpleasant we don’t have to get caught up in this. We can relax and step back, instead of brooding in this negative state.

Work to be mindful of your breath. Just pay attention to your natural breathing. You can also be mindful of your senses, or your thoughts. The goal is to remain present and nonjudgmental of what is taking place.

Being aware can help simplify a situation and make if easier to deal with it.

Visualize your desired outcome

Visualization is one of the most powerful ways to overcome fears and push past uneasiness. All successful musicians, athletes, and performers visualize themselves completing the task that awaits them.

Visualization is different than simply day dreaming or fantasizing about an outcome we desire. We must take action and put in the work necessary to make a change.

Despite what is taking place at the time we can visualize a successful outcome. This will give us psychological and emotional support to stay motivated and able to persevere, and it will keep our thinking focused on what we desire and prevent us from feeling overwhelmed or panicked.

Keep a sense of humor

Have you ever noticed that when things aren’t going the way we planned, even the smallest things can start to cause stress? When under stress we become overly serious and neglect the many moments of pleasure and gratification that surround us.

Humor can really cut tension and lighten-up a difficult situation.

When things seem bleak looking at things from a humorous perspective can help lighten the load. Look for humor in serious situations and use this as a tool to release your grip on control.

Focus on what you can control

When life seems completely out of control, there is always something amidst the chaos that can help us regain a sense of control.

It may be something very small, and if nothing else we can always learn to control our attitude.

We can’t control everything that takes place, but we can learn to focus on what we can do personally and how we can make a change. This helps us move beyond a victim mentality and to feel empowered to take action.

By. Joe Wilner