Showing posts with label soul searching. Show all posts
Showing posts with label soul searching. Show all posts

Friday, December 14, 2012

28 Ways to Stop Complicating Your Life.




"Life is not complicated.  We are complicated.  When we stop doing the wrong things and start doing the right things, life is simple."

So starting today…

Stop berating yourself for being a work in progress. – Start embracing it!  Because being a work in progress doesn’t mean you’re not good enough today.  It means you want a better tomorrow, and you wish to love yourself completely, so you can live your life fully.  It means you’re determined to heal your heart, expand your mind and cultivate the gifts you know you’re meant to share. May we all be works in progress forever, and celebrate the fact that we are!

Stop doing immoral things simply because you can. – Start being honest with yourself and everyone else.  Don’t cheat.  Be faithful.  Be kind.  Do the right thing!  It is a less complicated way to live.  Integrity is the essence of everything successful.  When you break the rules of integrity you invite serious complications into your life.  Keep life simple and enjoyable by doing what you know in your heart is right.

Stop meaning what you don’t say. – Start communicating clearly.  Don’t try to read other people’s minds, and don’t make other people try to read yours.  Most problems, big and small, within a family, friendship, or business relationship, start with bad communication.  Someone isn’t being clear.

Stop wasting time and money trying to acquire more of everything. – Start focusing on quality.  High quality is worth more than any quantity, in possessions, friends and experiences.  Truly ‘rich’ people need less to be happy.  Live a comfortable life, not a wasteful one.  Too many people buy things they don’t need with money they don’t have to impress people they don’t know.  Do not spend to impress others.  Do not live life trying to fool yourself into thinking wealth is measured in material objects.  Manage your money wisely so your money does not manage you.

Stop spending time with negative people. – Start spending time with nice people who are smart, driven and like-minded.  Relationships should help you, not hurt you.  Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be.  Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you – people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it.  Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  When you free yourself of negative people, you free yourself to be YOU – and being YOU is the simplest way to live.

Stop trying to change people. – Start accepting people just the way they are.  In most cases it’s impossible to change them anyway, and it’s rude to try.  So save yourself from needless stress.  Instead of trying to change others, give them your support and lead by example.

Stop being lazy and cutting corners. – Start avoiding future headaches by doing things right the first time.  Always put your best foot forward.  Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.  Why give less than 100%?  Life is too short to waste it by living below your full potential.  If something is worth doing, then it’s worth doing well.

Stop procrastinating. – Start taking action and making changes.  Action and change are often resisted when they’re needed most.  Get a hold of yourself and have discipline.  Discipline is choosing what you really want over what you want right now.  Putting something off makes it instantly harder and scarier.  What we don’t start today won’t be finished by tomorrow.  And there’s nothing more stressful than the perpetual lingering of an unfinished task.

Stop worrying and complaining. – Start focusing on the things you can control and do something about them.  Those who complain the most accomplish the least.  And when you spend time worrying, you’re simply using your imagination to create things you don’t want.  It’s usually only as good or bad as you think it is.

Stop being dramatic. – Start spending less time gossiping about problems and more time helping yourself and others solve them.  Stay out of people’s needless drama and don’t create your own.
Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Start focusing on being everything to someone.  Helping or pleasing everyone is impossible.  But making one person smile can change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus and be yourself.

Stop making promises you can’t keep. – Starting under-promising and over-delivering on everything you do.  Period.

Stop blaming others. – Start accepting responsibility for everything in your life.  Blaming others accomplishes nothing and prolongs the complications you’re facing.  Either you own your problems, or they will own you.  Your choice.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give up your power over that part of your life.

Stop reacting without a plan. – Start planning and working toward specific goals.  Make a list of your top 3 - 5 goals.  What’s most important to you?  What do you value most?  What 3 - 5 things do you most want to do in your life?  Simplifying your life starts with these priorities, as you are trying to make room in your life so you have more time for these things.  Having a plan, even a flawed one at first, is better than no plan at all.  There is good reason why you should wake each morning and mindfully consider what and who you will give your day to: Because unlike other things in life – love, money, respect, good health, hope, opportunities, etc. – time is the one thing you can never get back once it’s gone.

Stop confusing ‘being busy’ with ‘being productive.’ – Start tracking and measuring your progress.  Being busy and being productive are two very different things.  Results are more important than the time it takes to achieve them.

Stop over-committing and trying to do too much at once. – Start saying “no” more often.  If you never say “no,” you will take on too much and get nothing accomplished.  In the beginning, you need to say “yes” to a lot of things to discover and establish your goals.  Later on, you need to say “no” to a lot of things and concentrate on your goals.  Once your goals are established, focus on doing one thing at a time and doing it well.  Also, leave space around commitments in your day.  Whether you have appointments, or things you need to do, don’t stack them back-to-back.  Leave a little space between things you need to do, so you will have room for contingencies, and you’ll go through your day much more relaxed.

Stop being inefficient simply because you have always done it that way. – Start opening your mind to making positive changes.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Many times we live with unplanned, complex systems in our lives simply because we haven’t given them much thought.  Instead, streamline your life by finding better ways of handling common tasks.  Focus on one system at a time (your cleaning system, your errands system, your paperwork system, your email system, etc.) and try to make it simplified, efficient, and logical.  Then, once you have it perfected, stick to it.  Read Getting Things Done and The Power of Less.

Stop cluttering your space. – Start clearing clutter.  Get rid of stuff you don’t use and then organize what’s left.  If you have a cluttered living or working space, it can be distracting and stressful.  A clear space is like a blank canvas, available to be used to create something great.  Getting truly organized and clutter-free can vastly improve anyone’s life.

Stop overloading your mind by consuming useless information. – Start unsubscribing from useless e-lists and news feeds, and keep the TV off.  Limit your time on Facebook, Twitter, CNN.com and your other favorite websites, etc.

Stop obsessing over the past and future. – Start being present. Paying more attention to the current moment can make a huge difference in simplifying your life.  It keeps you aware of life, of what’s going on around you and within you.  It does wonders for your sanity and stress levels.

Stop waiting for things to be perfect. – Start thinking of how many things don’t get done in this world simply because people are waiting for the perfect time, place and circumstance.  If you’re waiting for the perfect conditions, ideas or plans to get started, you’ll never achieve anything.  A good idea without action is nothing at all.  Keep it simple and just start.  Focus on the next positive step forward.
Stop focusing so much energy on trying to avoid mistakes. – Start learning from your mistakes, then smile and move on.  No matter how smart you are, you will make mistakes.  Trying to avoid them will only waste time and complicate your life.  There is a lesson in every mistake you make, and learning the lesson is how you move forward.

Stop making emotional decisions.Start taking a few steps back so you can think things through.  When you’re caught up in the moment and your emotions are soaring, you’re bound to make poor decisions that will lead to needless complications.  The best advice here is simple:  Don’t let your emotions trump your intelligence.  Slow down and think things through before you make any big decisions.

Stop being unhealthy. – Start taking care of your body.  Start sleeping eight hours every night.  A tired, malnourished mind is over-stressed and rarely productive.  Your health is your life, don’t let it go.  Eat right, exercise and get an annual physical check-up.  The The 4-Hour Body is an insightful and entertaining read on this topic.

Stop holding on to intimate relationships that make you unhappy. – Start looking out for yourself when it comes to intimate relationships.  It’s better to WAIT, and give your hand to someone who will never let go, rather than holding on to the outside of a hand that has never fully opened for you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  Remember, anyone can come into your life and say how much they love you.  But it takes someone really special to stay in your life and show you how much they love you.  So slow it down.  True love is worth the wait.

Stop holding on to hate. – Start letting hate go!  Keep your sights set on the future.  Holding on to hate and anger is like grasping hot coals with the intent of throwing them at someone else – you are the one who gets burned.  If you want to forget someone, and move on, you must give up hating them.  It’s hard to forget someone you hate, because hate takes pieces of your heart – thereby keeping this person within your heart.  If you want to forget them, let go of the hate, and create peace in your heart instead.  Also, remember that whenever you hate something, it usually hates you back: people, situations, and inanimate objects alike; which will only further complicate your life.

Stop pretending like you know everything. – Start accepting the fact that there’s a lot you don’t know.  Nobody has it all figured out.  Nobody knows more than a minuscule fraction of what’s going on in the world.  Why?  Because the world is simply way too vast for any one person to know everything well.  And most of what we see is only what we think about what we see.  The sooner you accept this, the sooner you will stop making the same unnecessary mistakes, and the sooner new doors of opportunity will open in your life.

Stop giving what you don’t want to receive. – Start practicing the golden rule.  If you want love, give love.  If you want friends, be friendly.  If you want money, provide value.  It works.  It really is this simple.

By. Marc

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

How to cope and stay positive when bad stuff happens.





No one ever said life is going to be easy. We all have experienced rough times in our lives, some others more than most. We all look for our answers when bad things happen and especially when it happens to good people. It can also be very easy to start the blame game or the “what if” game after bad things happen.  Let’s face it though, we can’t prevent or predict when bad things happen in our lives. Honestly, bad things are more likely going to happen to us in the future.Life can be pretty complicated with mayhem and at times you may feel like you been knocked down so hard that you may never recover. There is hope though and although it may not seem like there, just remember it can’t rain all the time and there will be light eventually.

How We Cope With Bad Things In Life


The way we overcome bad things in order to keep pushing forward in life and not letting it get us in “Quicksand” is all dependent on the way we handle and react to these outcomes in life.
Get Out Of Quicksand - Quicksand is the effect where you seem you like you are in way over your hard and struggling to survive. Yes, it can be difficult when things add up or something so tremendous hit’s you so hard that you may feel like no matter what you do there is no way positive outcome. The thing with quicksand though is that if you stop for a minute struggling and just keep a cool and calm head, then eventually you can get out of the quicksand. The same applies to life, stop for a minute and get a clear head to prepare yourself in overcoming this temporary setback in life. The more you dwell on the negatives and the problem the more difficult it is to rise above.

Don’t Worry About The Things You Can’t Control 

There is a prayer called the Serenity Prayer that Alcoholics Anonymous Meetings use most often that focuses on having the strength to focus on what they can control and the strength to accept things they can not change. There is no point stressing yourself out in worrying about the things you can’t control. Focus on what you can control and that is the present, not the past or impossible things for the future.

“Something I learned early in college (is) to not worry about what I can’t control…But what I can control is my attitude, my effort, my focus every single day and that’s what I’m trying to worry about.” – Tim Tebow

Learning Experience 

The most effective thing we can do from rough events in our life is to learn from them. Whether you are spiritual or not, there is a driving force in this world that tells us that things happen for a reason. Seek out that reason and embrace it. If a difficult event happened in your family that has brought everyone together then maybe that reason is getting the opportunity to spend time with your family that you may never have done before. This is not to say to forget or ignore the problem but try to learn from this experience, it is the only way to get better in life.

Keep It Positive 

You must stay head strong and always look for the positive in life even when it looks bleak in life. Keeping a positive outlook will help you push through this temporary setback in life. You are what you think. Watch funny movies and TV, go out and do something fun or spend quality time with friends. Do whatever you got to do to stay positive.

Keep Pushing Forward 

Never go backwards, you must always keep pushing forward and overcoming obstacles in life. 

"You, me or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It ‘s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done." – Rocky Balboa

Have Faith / Hope

Finally, the thing you must keep is faith and hope alive. This will pass, tomorrow the sun will rise again and the future will become better. You have to maintain a sense of hope or otherwise you will be holding on to something that will keep you complacent. Having hope will give you purpose to move forward.

~ Doris Ann

"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems todaylife does go on, and it will be better tomorrow." – Maya Angelou 

Saturday, November 3, 2012

30 Ways To Live A Life Of Excellence!



"Excellence is the result of caring more than others thinks is wise, risking more than others think is safe, dreaming more than others think is practical, and expecting more than others thinks is possible." ~ Uknown
Here are the top 30 ways to live a life of excellence:
  1. Discover your purpose. – Our physical life started when we were born.  Our real life starts when we discover our purpose.  What is your purpose?  What is your mission statement for your life?  Mine is, “To touch others’ lives, help them achieve their highest potential and live their best lives.”  This one statement gives me clarity and focus on what to do, from my daily plans to my long-term goals.
  2. Follow your passion. – To do what you love is truly the only way to live.  Don’t just pursue as a hobby; turn it into your career.  I didn’t use to be a personal development blogger or a coach.  I was a marketing major and I was working in brand management as a career.  However, it wasn’t my passion.  So a year and a half ago, I quit my regular job to pursue my real passion.  Despite having no experience in the personal development industry, I slowly carved my niche in this area and established myself and my expertise.  Today I’m pursuing my passion as a career, and loving it.
  3. Set your goals– If you can have whatever you want, what would you like?  What are your biggest goals and dreams?  Set them.  The life I’m living today is a result of goals I set in the past.  If you don’t set any goals, it’s safe to say that you’ll be running in place for the foreseeable future.  Is that what you want?
  4. Create a life handbook. – A life handbook is a concept I created where you have a book to write your life purpose, goals, dreams, plans, values, mottos, and other things that are important to you as you pursue your best life.  I started my life handbook in 2007 and it has been my #1 tool to living my life to the fullest. 
  5. Have the right mindset– The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your thoughts.  If you think life sucks, life will indeed suck.  On the other hand, if you are set to live your best life, the paths will open up in front of you.  Maybe it’s all the ‘good triumphing over evil’ I firmly believe that where there’s a will, there’s a way.  No one can stop you if you have the right mindset.
  6. Create your bucket list. – A bucket list is a list of things to do before you die.  All of us are going to die one day.  What are all the things you want to do/see/say/experience before you die?  It can be seeing the world, living your dreams, going skydiving, falling in love, among countless others.  I created my bucket list last year with over 100 things, and every day I accomplish what’s on it and add new things I want to do.  
  7. Get mentors. – You have dreams and big visions, and there are people who have likely been there and done that.  Get them to mentor you.  It’ll definitely cut down the learning curve and ease your journey.  With a mentor, you can unlock your potential and achieve so much more.
  8. Stop worrying so much– The majority of our fears exist only in our head.  Get rid of them and spend the energy on something productive.
  9. Get closer with your parents– Many of us only have functional relationships with our family.  Some of us might even have estranged family relationships.  I know I used to have that, then I realized it was foolish.  Our parents went through a lot of hardship by bringing us up, and no one’s ever going to share a connection to us the way they do.  Today I’m much closer to my parents than I was in the past, and I’m grateful for that.
  10. Let go of negative friendships– If you have friends who discourage you and pull you down, it’s time to get rid of them.  Getting rid might be too harsh for some, so distancing is a good alternative.  I had several negative friends in the past, then I just reduced contact.  Instead of wasting time and energy resisting them, I was then able to focus my energy on people and things that make me happy.
  11. Surround yourself with positive people– Do you know you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with?  Your attitudes, beliefs, accomplishments and success are a function of the people you spend time around.  Think about the people who inspire you and spend more time with them.  You’ll be amazed at the effects they’ll have on you.
  12. Release your limits– They say the sky is the limit.  I disagree.  We are our own limits.  It’s then about releasing our limits so we can live our best lives.  What are you limiting yourself from doing?  Stop holding yourself back.  Go out and get what you want.
  13. Believe in yourself. – The majority of the times I’ve been able to achieve something is because I started out believing I could do it, rather than acquiring that belief after I achieved it.  If I didn’t think I could do it, I probably would never have succeeded.  My past experiences have taught me that all you need to have in order to succeed is to have a sense of self-belief - a sense that you can control your own future.  That’s all.
  14. Wake up early– I used to wake up late every day, like 9-10am.  I never thought much about waking up early until a couple of years ago.  After I switched to waking early at 5am, my days have been incredible.  I feel more productive, I get more done, I’m more eager to work to keep the momentum going.  It’s something you have to try yourself to know the difference.
  15. Eat a healthy diet. – A healthy diet just-starts a life of excellence.  What’s in your daily diet?  Junk?  Fast food?  Fried food?  Or healthy, nutritious food?  Fruits?  Vegetables?  I’ve been a vegan since 2008 and have been loving it.  While I tried it out as just a 30-day trial, I immediately saw the benefits of being a vegan and stayed the course ever since.  
  16. Exercise regularly– Aside from a regular gym routine, try other sports to spice it up your workouts.  Frisbee, badminton and swimming are some of my favorite sports.  These make exercising a lot more fun.
  17. Plan your days. – Do you plan your days?  Did you wake up today knowing what you are supposed to do today?  If not, maybe it’s time you do.  Planning doesn’t have to be long and tedious, it can just be a 30 second process.  Every night, think about a few small things that you want to accomplish tomorrow and write them down.  When you wake up the next morning, review this list before you do anything else.
  18. Nurture those whom you love– The magical feeling of love.  The fluttering of your heart.  The internal smile you get when you think of those who you care for most.  It’s impossible to live a life of excellence without sharing quality time with those whom you love.
  19. Try something new. – Routines stagnate us.  New experiences help us grow and they make life interesting.  Make an effort to try something new every week.  I get very invigorated whenever I’m doing something new.  It can be a whole new activity or just a small experience, such as talking to a stranger.
  20. Stop watching TV– Why stop watching TV?  The bulk of content on TV is consciousness lowering.  TV has been proven by research to be linked with lower life satisfaction.  TV ads motivate you spend more money frivolously.  TV wastes lots and lots of time.  I could go on forever.  I quit regular TV watching almost 5 years ago and never looked back.  I recently wrote an article on my blog called 10 Reasons To Stop Watching TV and found out a good number of my readers dropped TV in their lives as well.  Try it out for 21-days and see how you feel.  
  21. Stop obsessing over the news– A lot of news today resonates with fear, guilt, shame and hate.  Depending on your news source, many are largely sensationalized and biased as well.  You don’t need to watch the news every day for an hour to know that there are car accidents, murders and wars out there.  Focus your energy on how you can address those problems instead.
  22. Don’t be trapped by dogma– Don’t feel compelled to follow others all the time.  Pave your own path.  Follow your heart.  Don’t fall into the trap of operating on everyone’s whim.  Listening is okay, but doing what everyone wants is simply unhealthy.  Execute the good feedback and follow your vision.
  23. Be compassionate– Show love and kindness to all the people around you.  Respect everyone.  They may not react in a kind way immediately, but they will notice and appreciate your kindness. To love is to be human.
  24. Smile more. – It takes more muscles to frown than to smile.  So let’s smile more often.  :)
  25. Criticize less, appreciate more– Do you like overly critical people?  I’m sure you don’t.  They are a dread to be around.  So let’s be less critical.  Don’t stare so hard at what’s missing.  Learn to see and appreciate what’s there instead.
  26. Keep a journal to self-reflect– I had a paper journal for several years, but after I started The Personal Excellence Blog I use the blog as my journal.  By having a place to freely let out our thoughts and ponder over them, we get a lot more clarity about ourselves.  
  27. Forgive those who hurt you– To forgive is to let go of a prisoner and to realize that the prisoner all along was you.  Don’t hold on to past hatred.  Let it go.  You’ll find new, wonderful things entering your life once you do.
  28. Enrich your mind great books– Books contain concentrated volumes of wisdom.  It’s not surprising then that most knowledgeable people are also very well-read.  
  29. Coach someone. – There’s no better way to learn than to teach others.  Is there someone who can benefit from your help?  Offer to coach them for free.  It’ll be an enlightening experience for both of you.
  30. Meet new people– Most humans have a habit of stagnating in a small circle of friends, but it doesn’t help us grow.  Get out there and meet new people.  You’ll be surprised at the lessons they will teach you and the new opportunities they will inject into your life.
Act now.  We only live once.  Let’s live our lives in excellence.
Celestine Chua 

Monday, October 22, 2012

The Purpose of Your Life - Your Life Mission.


How To Find Your True Life's Passion and Purpose:

In order to awaken your true life’s purpose you need to be ready to accept "change". Change may come in the form of a change in consciousness, a change in belief-sets and/or thought-patterns, a distinct career change, a change in lifestyle choices.
Most of us have asked the question in one way or another, “What should I be doing with my life?What’s my purpose?”
This is not an easy question ....
To find your answers:

Listen to your intuition...

Still your thinking, analytical mind. Listen.
Everyone has an inner-voice that acts as our internal radar system and guide. We just have to listen to it and trust it in order to be led by it successfully.
Feelings and messages about our purpose and passion often come as a gnawing thought or a reminder of what sparks your interests and what is important to you. Sometimes some sort of serendipitous situation or event will take place in order to jolt your hidden personal passions and purpose.
Ask yourself: ‘What makes me happy?’ - and answer honestly.
Take the opportunity to really analyse your happiness.
What brings you true Joy? Write a list ... you may see a trend develop.
What is stopping you from pursuing your joys and turning them into a life purpose or mission?
If you are spending a great deal of your time doing menial tasks, working at a job you loathe or living in a way that is unfulfilling for you, recognize and acknowledge this – then be ready for change.
Think about what frustrates you, what excites you, what motivates you, what disinterests you. Take conscious note of your reactions as these may indicate where your true purpose lies.
Ask yourself what you love to do, what you love about yourself, what you love about your life.
Ask yourself what is really important to you? What ‘causes’ do you lean towards? What and/or who inspires you?
How could you make a positive difference to the world for yourself and others? When we live our passions and life purposes we are fulfilled, satisfied and happy. This positive vibration spreads and reverberates to every corner of your life and serves as an example for others to follow.
"Trust yourself to make the right choices for YOU. Listen to your inner-voice – then trust it."
Sometimes your inner voice may lead you along a path that could bring you great personal joy and fulfilment, but may seem a little unorthodox, unsuited or inappropriate to family, friends or peers in their view and judgement. Sometimes finding and living your purpose could mean going against the wishes or advice of others, particularly that of close friends and family. Be true to yourself regardless. Walk your own path.
Make your decisions based upon your own personal truths - no one else’s. Have faith and trust in your dreams and follow their lead.
Patience is an important key. Finding your life’s purpose may take time to discover and nurture. Trust that everything happens in divine right timing.
If you are feeling unfulfilled and know there is "more to life" out there for you, take the time, patience and commitment to find your true life purpose. Once you find your passion and begin to live your purpose, it will be well worth it for you for the rest of your life.
"If you can't figure out your life's purpose, figure out your passion, for your passion will lead you right into your purpose." ~ Bishop T.D. Jakes

By. Joanne from the website "SACRED SCRIBES"



Saturday, October 20, 2012

Free Yourself By “Letting Go” of What You Can’t Control.



We all want to feel like we’re in control of our life and are masters of our destiny.
Think of a time when things started to feel out of control in your life. How did you feel? What did you do?
Did you do everything in your power to regain control, and cling to the little bit of direction you had left?
Many people become consumed with what they can’t control and obsessed with making things different.
"If we ever want true emotional well-being and spiritual freedom we have to learn to “let go” of what we can’t control."
When we dwell on what is out of our control, whether something that happened to us in the past, or something we’re awaiting in the future, it prevents us from experiencing the beauty in the moment and having peace of mind.

The paradox of control

The more we try to control things the less control we will experience. Things will inevitably be different than we expect and can change in an instant. When we can embrace that things are ever changing we begin to loosen our grip on the many areas of life we try to hold sway over.
When we desire control and don’t have it, it leads to worrying and agitation. We become irrational and start thinking about all the negative things that could happen. The more control we crave the more we begin to live from fear and desperation.
Here are a few ideas to help you “let go”.
Is it that you can’t or you won’t?
This is an important question to ask yourself to help you “let go” of the emotional burden that comes with a desire for control. Ask yourself, “Is this a situation where I can’t change or I won’t change.”
Sometimes we feel like we can’t make a change, “I can’t quite my job.” “I can’t give up this salary.” “I can’t get into college.” “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t…” Statement such as these set us up to feel out of control.
Usually it’s not that we can’t, but that we won’t.
When we can accept we won’t change it makes it much easier to let go and move forward. From this perspective, we have a choice in the matter.
Accentuate the positive
When we don’t feel in control it’s easy to focus on what’s going wrong and how terrible things are. We start to feel dis-empowered and lose perspective on our capabilities.
We may start catastrophizing about all the horrible things that could happen and have trouble looking beyond the immediate situation.
By learning to focus on what’s going right and not letting our situation consume our thoughts, we not only experience less distress but will be able to think more clearly and problem solve more effectively.
Stay mindful and breath
Mindfulness is an approach to experiencing life moment by moment. When we are mindful we can deal with our situation without being judgmental or critical of ourselves or the circumstances.
When we feel unpleasant we don’t have to get caught up in this. We can relax and step back, instead of brooding in this negative state.
Work to be mindful of your breath. Just pay attention to your natural breathing. You can also be mindful of your senses, or your thoughts. The goal is to remain present and nonjudgmental of what is taking place.
Being aware can help simplify a situation and make if easier to deal with it.
Visualize your desired outcome
Visualization is one of the most powerful ways to overcome fears and push past uneasiness. All successful musicians, athletes, and performers visualize themselves completing the task that awaits them.
Visualization is different than simply day dreaming or fantasizing about an outcome we desire. We must take action and put in the work necessary to make a change.
Despite what is taking place at the time we can visualize a successful outcome. This will give us psychological and emotional support to stay motivated and able to persevere, and it will keep our thinking focused on what we desire and prevent us from feeling overwhelmed or panicked.
Keep a sense of humor
Have you ever noticed that when things aren’t going the way we planned, even the smallest things can start to cause stress? When under stress we become overly serious and neglect the many moments of pleasure and gratification that surround us.
Humor can really cut tension and lighten-up a difficult situation.
When things seem bleak looking at things from a humorous perspective can help lighten the load. Look for humor in serious situations and use this as a tool to release your grip on control.
Focus on what you can control
When life seems completely out of control, there is always something amidst the chaos that can help us regain a sense of control.
It may be something very small, and if nothing else we can always learn to control our attitude.
We can’t control everything that takes place, but we can learn to focus on what we can do personally and how we can make a change. This helps us move beyond a victim mentality and to feel empowered to take action.
 Joe Wilner M.A. C.C.P.