How to cope and stay positive when bad stuff happens.

No one ever said life is going to be easy. We all have experienced rough times in our lives, some others more than most. We all look for our answers when bad things happen and especially when it happens to good people. It can also be very easy to start the blame game or the “what if” game after bad things happen.  Let’s face it though, we can’t prevent or predict when bad things happen in our lives. Honestly, bad things are more likely going to happen to us in the future.Life can be pretty complicated with mayhem and at times you may feel like you been knocked down so hard that you may never recover. There is hope though and although it may not seem like there, just remember it can’t rain all the time and there will be light eventually.

How We Cope With Bad Things In Life

The way we overcome bad things in order to keep pushing forward in life and not letting it get us in “Quicksand” is all dependent on the way we handle and react to these outcomes in life.

Get Out Of Quicksand - Quicksand is the effect where you seem you like you are in way over your hard and struggling to survive. Yes, it can be difficult when things add up or something so tremendous hit’s you so hard that you may feel like no matter what you do there is no way positive outcome. The thing with quicksand though is that if you stop for a minute struggling and just keep a cool and calm head, then eventually you can get out of the quicksand. The same applies to life, stop for a minute and get a clear head to prepare yourself in overcoming this temporary setback in life. The more you dwell on the negatives and the problem the more difficult it is to rise above.

Don’t Worry About The Things You Can’t Control 

There is a prayer called the Serenity Prayer that Alcoholics Anonymous Meetings use most often that focuses on having the strength to focus on what they can control and the strength to accept things they can not change. There is no point stressing yourself out in worrying about the things you can’t control. Focus on what you can control and that is the present, not the past or impossible things for the future.

“Something I learned early in college (is) to not worry about what I can’t control…But what I can control is my attitude, my effort, my focus every single day and that’s what I’m trying to worry about.” – Tim Tebow

Learning Experience 

The most effective thing we can do from rough events in our life is to learn from them. Whether you are spiritual or not, there is a driving force in this world that tells us that things happen for a reason. Seek out that reason and embrace it. If a difficult event happened in your family that has brought everyone together then maybe that reason is getting the opportunity to spend time with your family that you may never have done before. This is not to say to forget or ignore the problem but try to learn from this experience, it is the only way to get better in life.

Keep It Positive 

You must stay head strong and always look for the positive in life even when it looks bleak in life. Keeping a positive outlook will help you push through this temporary setback in life. You are what you think. Watch funny movies and TV, go out and do something fun or spend quality time with friends. Do whatever you got to do to stay positive.

Keep Pushing Forward 

Never go backwards, you must always keep pushing forward and overcoming obstacles in life. 

"You, me or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It ‘s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done." – Rocky Balboa

Have Faith / Hope

Finally, the thing you must keep is faith and hope alive. This will pass, tomorrow the sun will rise again and the future will become better. You have to maintain a sense of hope or otherwise you will be holding on to something that will keep you complacent. Having hope will give you purpose to move forward.

~ Doris Ann

"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow." – Maya Angelou 

12 Things You Should Be Able to Say About Yourself.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
- Mae West

You know you’re on the right track when you can repeat each of the following headlines to yourself, honestly.  (And if you can’t, this list gives you something positive to work on.)

1.  I am following my heart and intuition.

Don’t be pushed by your problems.  Be led by your dreams.  Live the life you want to live.  Be the person you want to remember years from now.  Make decisions and act on them.  Make mistakes, fall and try again.  Even if you fall a thousand times, at least you won’t have to wonder what could have been.  At least you will know in your heart that you gave your dreams your best shot.

Each of us has a fire in our hearts burning for something.  It’s our responsibility in life to find it and keep it lit.  This is your life, and it’s a short one.  Don’t let others extinguish your flame.  Try what you want to try.  Go where you want to go.  Follow your own intuition.  Dream with your eyes open until you know exactly what it looks like.  Then do at least one thing every day to make it a reality.

And as you strive to achieve your goals, you can count on there being some fairly substantial disappointments along the way.  Don’t get discouraged, the road to your dreams may not be an easy one.  Think of these disappointments as challenges – tests of persistence and courage.  At the end of the road, more often than not, we regret what we didn’t do far more than what we did.  Read Quitter.

2.  I am proud of myself.

You are your own best friend and your own biggest critic.  Regardless of the opinions of others, at the end of the day the only reflection staring back at you inthe mirror is your own.  Accept everything about yourself – EVERYTHING!  You are you and that is the beginning and the end – no apologies, no regrets.

People who are proud of themselves tend to have passions in life, feel content and set good examples for others.  It requires envisioning the person you would like to become and making your best efforts to grow.

Being proud isn’t bragging about how great you are; it’s more like quietly knowing that you’re worth a lot.  It’s not about thinking you’re perfect – because nobody is – but knowing that you’re worthy of being loved and accepted.  All you have to do is be yourself and live the story that no one else can live – the story of your own unique life.  Be proud, be confident, you never know who has been looking at you wishing they were you.

3.  I am making a difference.

Act as if what you do makes a difference.  It does.

Is it true that we all live to serve?  That by helping others we fulfill our own destiny?  The answer is a simple ‘yes.’  When you make a positive impact in someone else’s life, you also make a positive impact in your own life.  Do something that’s greater than you – something that helps someone else to be happy or to suffer less.

You are only one, but you are one.  You cannot do everything, but you can do something.  Smile and enjoy the fact that you made a difference – one you’ll likely remember forever.

4.  I am happy and grateful.

Happiness is within you, in your way of thinking.  How you view yourself and your world are mindful choices and habits.  The lens you choose to view everything through determines how you feel about yourself and everything that happens around you.

Being grateful will always make you happy.  If you’re finding it hard to be grateful for anything, sit down close your eyes and take a long slow breath and be grateful for oxygen.  Every breath you take is in sync with someone’s last.

5.  I am growing in to the best version of me.

Judy Garland once said, “Always be a first rate version of yourself instead of a second rate version of somebody else.”  Live by this statement.  There is no such thing as living in someone else’s shoes.  The only shoes you can occupy are your own.  If you aren’t being yourself, you aren’t truly living – you’re merely existing.

Remember, trying to be anyone else is a waste of the person you are.  Embrace that individual inside you that has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else.  Be the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms.  Improve continuously, take care of your body and health, and surround yourself with positivity.  Become the best version of you.

6.  I am making my time count.

Time is the most valuable constituent of life.  Make the time for what does matter today.  Really being in the moment, finding passion in your life, seeing the world and traveling, or just seeing the world that’s around you right now, being with great people, doing amazing things, eating amazing food and savoring life’s little pleasures.

Remember, your time is priceless, but it’s free. You can’t own it, but you can use it.  You can spend it, but you can’t keep it.  Once you’ve lost it you can never get it back.  You really do only have a short period to live.  So let your dreams be bigger than your fears and your actions louder than your words.  Make your time count!

7.  I am honest with myself.

Be honest about what’s right, as well as what needs to be changed.  Be honest about what you want to achieve and who you want to become.  Be honest with every aspect of your life, always.  Because you are the one person you can forever count on.

Search your soul, for the truth, so that you truly know who you are.  Once you do, you’ll have a better understanding of where you are now and how you got here, and you’ll be better equipped to identify where you want to go and how to get there.  Read The Four Agreements.

8.  I am good to those I care about.

In human relationships distance is not measured in miles, but in affection.  Two people can be right next to each other, yet miles apart.  So don’t ignore someone you care about, because lack of concern hurts more than angry words.  Stay in touch with those who matter to you.  Not because it’s convenient, but because they’re worth the extra effort.

When was the last time you told your family and close personal friends that you loved them?  Just spending a little time with someone shows that you care, shows that they are important enough that you’ve chosen — out of all the things to do on your busy schedule — to find the time for them.  Talk to them.  Listen to them.  Understand them.

Many times it’s our actions, not just our words that really speak what our heart feels for another.

9.  I know what unconditional love feels like.

Whether your love is towards a child, a lover, or another family member, know the feeling of giving love and not expecting anything in return – this is what lies at the heart of unconditional love.  Life through unconditional love is a wondrous adventure that excites the very core of our being and lights our path with delight.  This love is a dynamic and powerful energy that lifts us through the most difficult times.

Love is beautiful and unpredictable.  It begins with ourselves, for without self-love, we cannot know what true love can be.  In loving ourselves, we allow the feeling to generate within us and then we can share it to everyone and everything around us.  When you love unconditionally, it isn’t because the person you love is perfect, it’s because you learn to see an imperfect person perfectly.

10.  I have forgiven those who once hurt me.

We’ve all been hurt by another person at some point or another – we were treated badly, trust was broken, hearts were hurt.  And while this pain is normal, sometimes that pain lingers for too long.  We relive the pain over and over, letting them live rent-free in our head and we have a hard time letting go.

Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness, it causes us to miss out on the beauty of life as it happens.  To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you.

11.  I take full accountability for my life.

Own your choices and mistakes, and be willing to take the necessary steps to improve upon them.  Either you take accountability for your life or someone else will.  And when they do, you’ll become a slave to their ideas and dreams instead of a pioneer of your own.

You are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life.  And no, it won’t always be easy.  Every person has a stack of obstacles in front of them.  But you must take accountability for your situation and overcome these obstacles.  Choosing not to is choosing a lifetime of mere existence.  Read The Road Less Traveled.

12.  I have no regrets.

This one is simply a culmination of the previous eleven…

Follow your heart.  Be true to yourself.  Do what makes you happy.  Be with who makes you smile.  Laugh as much as you breathe.  Love as long as you live.  Say what you need to say.  Offer a helping hand when you’re able.  Appreciate all the things you do have.  Smile.  Celebrate your small victories.  Learn from your mistakes.  Realize that everything is a lesson in disguise.  Forgive.  And let go of the things you can’t control.

By. Angel Hack

10 Ways Happy People Choose Happiness.

Happiness is a choice.  For every minute you are angry or irritated, you lose 60 seconds of happiness.  Be happy.  Be yourself.  If others don’t like it, then let them be.  Life isn’t about pleasing everybody.

If you have the courage to admit when you’re scared, the ability to laugh even as you cry, the nerve to speak up, even if your voice is shaking, the confidence to ask for help when you need it, and the wisdom to take it when it’s offered, then you have everything you need to get yourself to a happier state of mind.

Begin today by taking responsibility for your own contentment.  Here are ten ways to choose happiness:

1. Choose to be the best YOU can be. – Give it your all in everything you do, commit to your goals, and don’t compare yourself to anyone else.  John Wooden once said, “Success and happiness is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.”  Never try to be better than anyone else, but never stop trying to be the best you can be.  If you feel called to compare yourself to someone, compare yourself to an earlier version of yourself.
2. Choose to be around the right people. – Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded.  Relationships should help you, not hurt you.  Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be.  Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you – people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it.  Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  When you free yourself from negative people, you free yourself to be YOU – and being YOU is the only way to truly live.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.
3. Choose to focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t. – When you appreciate what you have, what you have appreciates in value.  Being grateful for the goodness that is already evident in your life willbring you a deeper sense of happiness.  And that’s without having to go out and buy or acquire anything new.  It makes sense.  You will have a hard time ever being happy if you aren’t thankful for what you already have.
4. Choose a good attitude. – What often screws us up the most in life is the picture in our head of how it’s supposed to be.  And the reason so many of us give up is because we tend to look at how far we still have to go, instead of how far we have come.  Remember, life is a journey, not a destination.  This moment, like every moment, is a priceless gift and an opportunity.  Be positive, smile, and make it count.  Pretend today is going to be great.  Do so, and it will be.  Research shows that although we think that we act because of the way we feel, in fact, we often feel because of the way we act.  A great attitude always leads to great experiences.
5. Choose to smile more often. – A smile is a choice, not a miracle.  Don’t wait for people to smile.  Show them how.  A genuine smile makes you and everyone around you feel better.  The simple act of smiling sends a message to your brain that you’re happy.  And when you’re happy, your body pumps out all kinds of feel-good endorphins.  This reaction has been studied since the 1980’s and has been proven a number of times.  Bottom line:  Smiling actually makes you happier.
6. Choose to take care of your body. – Taking care of your body is crucial to being the happiest person you can be.  If you don’t have your physical energy in good shape, then your mental energy (your focus), your emotional energy (your feelings), and your spiritual energy (your purpose) will all be negatively affected.  Recent studies conducted on people who were clinically depressed showed that consistent exercise significantly raises happiness levels in the near-term.  Not only that, six months later, the people who had continued to exercise were less likely to relapse into depression because they had a higher sense of self-accomplishment and self-worth.
7. Choose honesty. – Start being honest with yourself and everyone else.  Don’t cheat.  Be faithful.  Be kind.  Do the right thing!  It is a less complicated way to live.  Integrity is the essence of everything successful.  When you break the rules of integrity you invite serious complications into your life.  Keep life simple and enjoyable by doing what you know in your heart is right.  Don’t get involved with drama that doesn’t affect you.
8. Choose to help others when you’re able. – Care about people.  In life, you get what you put in.  When you make a positive impact in someone else’s life, you also make a positive impact in your own life.  Do something that’s greater than you – something that helps someone else to be happy or to suffer less.
9. Choose to let go when you know you should. – Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself.  Love is worth fighting for, but you can’t be the only one fighting.  People need to fight for you too.  If they don’t, you eventually have to move on and realize that what you gave them was more than they were willing to give you.  Some relationships and situations just can’t be fixed.  If you try to force them back together, things will only get worse.  Holding on is being brave, but letting go and moving on is often what makes us stronger and happier.
10. Choose to embrace the next step in your life. – You can hold on to the past, or you can create your own happiness today.  Never let success get to your head and never let failure get to your heart.  Every day is a new beginning and a new ending.  Embrace it, make the best of it, smile, and keep looking straight ahead.  And don’t forget, a smile doesn’t always mean a person is happy right now; sometimes it simply means they are strong enough to face their problems going forward.  Read The How of Happiness.

And remember, your mind is your private sanctuary; do not allow the negative beliefs of others to occupy it.  Your skin is your barrier; do not allow others to get under it.  Take control of your boundaries and what you allow yourself to absorb from others.

Never let someone’s opinion become your reality.  Never sacrifice who you are because someone else has a problem with it.  Love who you are inside and out.  No one else has the power to make you feel small unless you give them that power.  You are the only one who can create your happiness.

The choice is yours.  Choose happiness.

~ Marc and Angel Hack

Mastering The Art of a Worry-Free Life.

Here are 6 ways to embrace the Art of a Worry-Free Life:

• Step 1: Accept That Worry Doesn't Help
  
  

  “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.” - Mark Twain

  
  I wouldn’t object to worrying if it was more practical in improving our lives. But, the fact is, worrying won’t pay the rent or stop an aneurism from exploding in our brain. And I’ve never seen a hurricane that could be stopped by a few hours of nail biting.
  
  Worrying does nothing to help us deal with what we’re anxious about. It doesn’t make us more creative, smarter, engaging, or productive. Go ahead, worry 24 hours a day, 52 weeks a year…and see for yourself if one second of that worrying does anything to make your life better. And while seeing through this illusion of worry won’t immediately put you into a Zen-like state of bliss, it will hopefully give you more energy, while freeing up your mind long enough to see practical solutions to your problems. It will hopefully lead you to action.
• 
  
• Step 2: Stay In The Moment
  
  

  “Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.” - Author Unknown

  
  The problem with worry is that it exists almost entirely in the past and the future.
  We spend so much time and energy worrying about what has already happened, or what we think might happen in the future, that we have no time for today. This not only keeps our worries spinning alive, but weakens us, kills our spirit, and robs us of joy.
  
  Staying in the moment —living in the now— is at the heart of any worry free program. Volumes have been written on the subject and, to be honest, you could spend a lifetime mastering it. Here is what you can do right now to get started:
• Engage in activities that keep you in the moment. Deep breathing exercises work, as will yoga, meditation, gardening, reading, running, swimming; a walk in the woods, a bike ride at the beach. Nature helps, so does humor, volunteering, and doing virtually anything you’re passionate about.
• 
  
• Surround yourself with people who live in present moment awareness. Children are good for this, so are older people, outdoor types, athletes and creatives. With a little effort, you’ll find your own role models. Spend enough time with them and it’ll rub off. Note to your new self: At first these people might get on your nerves. That’s your worried, uncomfortable self cringing at the idea of letting go. Stay with it.
• 
  
Catch yourself living in the past or the future as often as you can. Notice regret as it pops up, or guilt, or longing. Recognize when you start thinking about what might or might not happen tomorrow. Catch all these “past and future” moments, then bring yourself back to the moment you’re living in.                                

Step 3: Stop Looking For Bad Things To Worry About

• “He that seeks trouble always finds it.” - English Proverb

  
  Turn off the news, switch off talk radio, stop reading newspapers, and avoid all conversations with people who only want to talk about how screwed up the world is. You know who they are.
  
  The more you think, talk, or obsess about something, the faster you’ll bring more of it into your life. After all, it’s hard enough to stop worrying about your own problems, let alone have to take on those of the world. Don’t pile on more.
• 
  
• Step 4: Start Looking For Good Things to Be Happy About
  
  

  “He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, 
  but rejoices for those which he has." - Epictetus

  
  It’s a law of the universe that two objects can’t occupy the same place at the same time. This applies to our thoughts as well. It’s not enough to want to rid ourselves of worried thoughts, we need to replace those worries with something positive to think about. In other words, stop focusing on the approaching hurricane and start thinking about the family you’re huddled around with in the basement.
  
  Worry isn’t going to go away easily. We have to fight it with everything we have. And what we have are our children, our spouses and loved ones, sunsets and stars, oceans and mountains; our beating hearts and strong minds; our endless capacity to love, laugh and find joy. It’s called gratitude…and it works.
• 
  
• Step 5: Be Prepared, Then Let Go
  
  

  “Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.” - Herman Hesse

  
  Living a worry-free life doesn’t mean we should pretend our world isn’t filled with challenges. We need to be ready for what comes. And nothing combats worry more than action.
  
  So, wear sunscreen, pay off credit cards, eat more greens, learn fractions, and when that hurricane approaches, board up the windows, stock up on supplies and head to the basement. What we can’t do is tell the hurricane to make a u-turn when it comes to our street. That’s the point we need to let go. It’s called surrender, trust, or the simple knowing that there is something larger than ourselves and the problems we face. All of which leads to our 6th and most important step.
• 
  
• Step 6: Use Worry To Find Meaning In Life
  
  

  “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” - Khalil Gibran

  
  While the previous five steps will take us far in alleviating worry, to achieve lasting relief, we need a shift in perception. We need to re-interpret our worries in light of what they have to teach us. Granted, not everyone will want to do this.
  
  It isn’t easy asking someone to look beyond his or her struggles in search of a greater truth. It’s like asking someone to see the rainbow when they’re stuck in the middle of a storm —easy advice to give, not so easy to take.
  
  Yet, it is the exact step that will bring us peace.
  
  The key is to cultivate this spirit of living before the storm hits. It’s no secret that we all have our stories, our own scars. You have yours. I have mine. They may take different shapes, or arrive at different times in our lives, but nobody is immune from pain, sorrow and challenge. It is only how we write the endings to our stories that are different — how we will each work through, and then learn from our experiences.
  
  And, of course, the best stories —the ones we all remember— are the ones where we come out of a crisis as a different person. The stories where we not only endure, but emerge stronger, happier, and wiser.
  
  It is the hero’s journey. Your journey…and mine.
  
  It is a journey where worry evolves into action, insight, then reinvention; where worry transforms into hope and promise. But, this journey takes choice. A decision has to be made.
  
  What will we do with worry as it creeps into our lives each day? Will we cry foul, play victim, and point fingers? Will we give in and let worry continue to rule our lives? Or will we take action and engage life? Will we reject negativity, seek stillness and embrace gratitude, searching out people who will nourish and make us stronger? Will we choose to meet our worries head on, with the knowingness that our challenges, however difficult they may be, contain the seeds to bring more purpose and meaning into our lives than we could have ever imagined?
  
  Make the right choice —the heroic choice.

By. Bill Apablasa     

The Secret to Not Caring What People Think.

Whether it is becoming plugged into our identity, quitting alcohol or even becoming more confident, our worry of what people think can really affect us. From the jobs we choose, to the people we date and the risks we take, we often limit our actions through fear of criticism or judgment from others.

This is a serious issue, and a problem many people experience, therefore I’ve taken my personal experience and the advice of others to reveal the secrets to not caring what people think.

Why we Care what people Think

First of all, I want to say that sometimes caring what people think is not a bad idea; the part of our mind that produces this fear is often in place to protect us. For example, if we didn’t care what anybody thought then we might go out and kill somebody or run through shopping centers completely naked. These are extreme examples but should help you understand why the mindset is in place.

I’ve spent months trying to understand why we care what people think, and as (surprisingly) usual, the answer is relatively simple and the heart of what this website is about. The reason we care what people think is because we base our identity on their judgments of us, positive or negative. Because we think that part of our identity is how people view us (funny, cool, confident, shy) then we must protect that so that our identity is not affected. "What people say about you is none of your business." - Sean Stephensen

Of course, your identity is not what people think of you, it is just…you. If you are doing something that makes you feel guilty within, then this is something you will have to deal with beforehand.

How to (partially) not Care what People Think

Personally, I don’t think it is possible to completely stop caring what people think of us, and I don’t think that is such a bad thing. We are social creatures and that is how we learn, if we are acting like an idiot and someone notices then informs us, we may realise that we could have been acting more appropriately.

I realise that this is a very important topic to a lot of people – myself included – and therefore I have gone into detail with the following information to ensure that there is enough content to answer most questions and concerns. 

Imagine how different the world would be if we could all push to do the things we want to do, be the people we want to be and live how we want to live. Imagine how different the world would be if we were all plugged in…that is the aim of this business.

1. Stop Over-thinking

Although this is a website about empowering the readers, you are not the most important person in the world, at least not to others. It is probably in the majority of occasions that you think you are being judged where people don’t actually care for the thing you are worrying about. Do you judge every single person that you meet, probably not.

If you do, you might want to sort out that side of your life first as there’s no wonder you care what people think of you. The best way to test it is to push your limits a little, do something that is a bit out of the ordinary for you and see how people react. Chances are that only your “friends” might notice the change and make comments, but a random stranger really won’t care.

2. Put things into perspective

To people that aren’t naturally concerned what others think about them, having an issue with it seems quite strange or even silly. The reason is that when you put ‘issues’ like this under the microscope you can see they are really not worth having. 

You only get ONE chance at life in the physical world and you are going to allow other people’s thoughts make it less enjoyable?

Sounds silly now doesn’t it.

Apart from the fact that life really is too short to worry about things like this, the other aspect is that people’s feelings change. For example, say one moment people insult you for wearing yellow trainers, therefore you think they shouldn’t be worn and that is the last time you wear them. What if this persons opinions change, and they start wearing yellow shoes themselves; is that the only time you’ll put your trainers back on?

I used to know a boy who was bullied for growing his hair long, yet within 6 months, more than half the boys in my year (including those who insulted him) grew theirs as well. People change their minds, so what they judge you on now might not matter in the future. Are you going to wait until something is deemed cool or acceptable to be the person you want to be? Hopefully questions like this help you put things into perspective.

3. Be confident in your actions

Seeing as it’s likely we’ll always have some thought towards the feelings of others, what if we could really eliminate the amount of times it happens? Well, you can. The trick, if you want to call it that, is to simply be more confident in the decisions and actions you are taking.

Have you never seen someone that might be wearing something out of the ordinary or acting different to the surrounding crowd but things just seem normal and they aren’t being judged?

If you are wearing yellow shoes and are clearly uncomfortable in your choice then people are going to target you because they can see that and they probably want to feel good about themselves. However, if you can wear the shoes with pride and confidence, whilst clearly not caring what other people think then you’ll notice the negative reactions to be very small if any.

4. Learn to control your emotions

When you start to try things like pushing your limits or simply being more confident, you will undoubtedly have mixed emotions in your head. From stress, worry and fear, to relief and happiness, it can be a bit of a mind roller coaster; that is where controlling your emotions comes in.

The simple practice I learned from Eckhart Tolle goes a bit like this:

• Be conscious of an emotion inside you i.e. fear or worry
• Observe it within your mind
• Notice that if you are observing it, it can’t be a part of you
• Watch the emotion disappear

As soon as you observe an emotion, you are separating yourself from it and thus it can no longer exist.

5. Accept yourself for who you are

If you are constantly judging yourself then there will be no doubt to the fact that you’ll judge what other people think of you. The main cause for this is often self-limiting beliefs or society has made you think there is something wrong with you. Understandably, accepting yourself is not the easiest thing to do but there are things that help.

First of all, think of all the things that you don’t like about yourself and write them down. Now, look at them more closely and see if there is a possibility to change them. For example, if you are thin and don’t like that, then look at ways in which you can gain weight and bulk up. However, If you wish you were taller, it’s not exactly something you can change. For this, look at what could be worse, for example if you are 5″ 7′ and really don’t like that, just think that at least you are not 8″ 7′ or even 5″. You might not be at your perfectly desired height but there are people “worse off”.

These things are more of a temporary solution, as if you constantly look towards helping yourself by seeing people who are worse off or looking to change yourself, you can never accept you. As time goes by and you realise how unimportant the things you thought were, actually aren't and things get easier and your level of caring will plummet rapidly.

Glen Allsop

Eliminate the Negatives!

Stop reading the newspaper! Everyone acknowledges that the newspaper is mostly filled with negativity – murder, fire, war, disasters, etc. Stop feeding yourself with it! Believe me, you can’t help but be informed about major stories one way or another. We are bombarded. There is no need to go looking for it.

Stop watching TV news! The same issues that apply to newspapers apply to TV news. And there is one more caution in addition… When you go to sleep at night, the mind starts processing the last things it was exposed to. So, what’s the dumbest thing a person can do just before they go to sleep? WATCH THE TV NEWS!!! Stop watching it.

Stop seeking the negative on the internet! Ever hear the expression, “You get what you focus on”? If you seek out negativity, you find it and it becomes your reality. I had a friend who, as Y2K approached, was absolutely convinced that the world would come to an end (almost literally). Every night, he would spend hours on the internet reading about all the terrible things that were sure to happen at the stroke of midnight. He pleaded with me to stockpile food and water. He never spoke to me again after January 1, 2000. He really believed all his fears would come to fruition. He had sought out and focused on the negatives and came to believe them. Don’t dwell on seeking out and reading about negatives.

Stop hanging around negative people! Ever notice that all the folks with negative, small-minded attitudes always hang out together and all the successful, big-minded people hang out together as well? Coincidence? NO! Remove yourself from the negative crowd. Avoid negative people as much as possible.

Introduce Positives
Start hanging around positive people! Positive association is one of the keys to success. Positive association leads to creativity, partnerships, solutions, and bigger dreams. Mark Twain once said, “Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

Start reading! It’s often said that the books you read and the people you associate with determine where you will be in five years. Where do you want to be? Start reading books about people you admire. Read personal growth books, books on success principles, books about others who overcame challenges, and motivational books.

Start listening! Start using your windshield time as a time to learn and grow. Instead of mindlessly listening to music or talk on the radio, pop in a tape or CD. Listen to audio books, motivational CD’s, or even music that lifts and energizes you. Create a mix of music on tape or CD that gets you and your attitude fired up for that next meeting, presentation, or prospect.

By acquiring, maintaining, and protecting a positive attitude, you will see your success grow and your enjoyment of life improve. You’ll become more attractive (in every way) and will increasingly find other like-minded people to be around.

By. Michael Beck

5 Secrets to Loving Yourself.

Self talk, the little voice in your head, the tape that runs over and over; these are all powerful words to describe how you feel about yourself.  If your self esteem and self-talk tends to be filled with put downs and negative affirmations of the essence of you, then how can you ever love yourself?  If you do not love yourself, how can you ever expect anyone else to love you?  Love yourself first!  Love yourself enough.  Empower yourself and you do the work.  The Universal Laws of Attraction suggest that you get and receive as much love as you give out. 

1.  Change your thoughts. What are you feeding your mind?  Have a visual of a stop sign.  When you begin calling yourself down, immediately stop your little voice and replace it with all the wonderful things that you are.

2.  Change your energy.  Garbage in, garbage out.  What are you feeding your body?  If your are feeding it garbage also known as junk food, then how can you expect to feel good about yourself?  Feed your body with healthy foods such as fruits and veggies. 

3.  Change your behavior 1.  What are you feeding your soul? Get an elastic band or something elastic and put it on your wrist.  When you catch yourself and stop yourself from saying something negative about yourself or others, transfer it to your other wrist.  Within one week of bringing this behavior to your conscious attention, you will likely be using more positive self talk.

4.  Change your behavior 2.  What are you feeding your emotions? Confront your fears.  What is the worst possible thing that can happen to you if you do that?  You will love yourself and be empowered with higher self esteem.

5.  Random Acts of Kindness.  Be an angel!  Choose to do something for someone else, preferably a stranger.  The research shows that when we do this we feel better about ourselves.  Keep it a delicious secret that you can hug to yourself!

By. Sherrie Hay

Reflection Questions

1. What are 4 things I say in my head when I get upset with myself? How can I consciously change that self talk habit?
2. What are 4 things I can do to pamper myself so that I feel good today?
3. One a scale of 1-10 how well do I love myself?  5 = average, 10 is top of the scale.
4. What are 4 ways in which I can easily perform an angel act or Random Act of Kindness?

Take a chance performing Life’s dance

Love yourself first!

"Instead of looking for love, give it;

constantly renew it in yourself and

you will always feel its presence within you.

It will always be there smiling at you,

gazing on you kindly."

(Omraam Mikhael Aivanhov)

9 Helpful Tips To Deal With Negative People.

1) Don’t get into an argument.

One of the most important things I learned is not to debate with a negative person. A negative person likely has very staunch views and isn’t going to change that just because of what you said. Whatever you say, he/she can find 10 different reasons to back up his/her viewpoint. The discussion will just swirl into more negativity, and you pull yourself down in the process. You can give constructive comments, and if the person rebutts with no signs of backing down, don’t engage further.

2) Empathize with them.

Have you ever been annoyed by something before, then have someone tell you to “relax”? How did you feel? Did you relax as the person suggested or did you feel even more worked up?

From my experience, people who are negative (or upset for that matter) benefit more from an empathetic ear than suggestions/solutions on what he/she should do. By helping them to address their emotions, the solutions will automatically come to them (it’s always been inside them anyway).

3) Lend a helping hand.

Some people complain as a way of crying for help. They may not be conscious of it though, so their comments come across as complaints rather than requests. Take the onus to lend a helping hand. Just a simple “Are you okay?” or “Is there anything I can do to help you?” can do wonders.

4) Stick to light topics.

Some negative people are triggered by certain topics. Take for example: One of my friends sinks into a self-victimizing mode whenever we talk about his work. No matter what I say (or don’t say), he’ll keep complaining once we talk about work.

Our 1st instinct with negative people should be to help bring them to a more positive place (i.e. steps #2 and #3). But if it’s apparent the person is stuck in his/her negativity, the unhappiness may be too deeply rooted to address in a one-off conversation, or for you to help him/her unravel it. Bring in a new topic to lighten the mood. Simple things like new movies, daily occurrences, common friends, make for light conversation. Keep it to areas the person feels positive towards.

5) Ignore the negative comments.

One way to help the negative person “get it” is to ignore the negative comments. If he/she goes into a negative swirl, ignore or give a simple “I see” or “Ok” reply. On the other hand, when he/she is being positive, reply in affirmation and enthusiasm. Do this often and soon he/she will know positivity pays off. He/she will adjust to be more positive accordingly.

6) Praise the person for the positive things.

Negative people aren’t just negative to others. They’re also negative to themselves. If you already feel negative around them, imagine how they must feel all the time. What are the things the person is good at? What do you like about the person? Recognize the positive things and praise him/her for it. He/she will be surprised at first and might reject the compliment, but on the inside he/she will feel positive about it. That’s the first seed of positivity you’re planting in him/her and it’ll bloom in the long-term.

7) Hang out in 3′s or more people.

Having someone else in the conversation works wonders in easing the load. In a 1-1 communication, all the negativity will be directed towards you. With someone else in the conversation, you don’t have to bear the full brunt of the negativity. This way you can focus more on doing steps #1 (Empathizing) and #2 (Helping the person).

8) Be responsible for your reaction.

Whether the person is negative or not, ultimately you’re the one who is perceiving the person is negative. When you recognize that, actually the negativity is the product of your lens. Take responsibility for your perceptions. For every trait, you can interpret it in a positive and a negative manner. Learn to see the goodness of the person than the negative. It may be tough initially, but once you cultivate the skill, it becomes second nature.

9) Reduce contact with them / Avoid them.

If all else fails, reduce contact with them or avoid them altogether. If it’s a good friend, let him/her know of the severity of the issue and work it out where possible. It’s not healthy to spend too much time with people who drain you. Your time is precious, so spend it with people who have positive effects on you.

By. Celestine Chua