Positive Affirmations and Their Benefits.

Often, most people are unaware of their own strengths and weaknesses, even when prompted. When coupled with negative phrases that you often use, e.g. "I can be such an idiot!", which whilst meant to have a positive effect can actually result in negative consequences. The extent of the message and resultant programming into your subconscious can be extremely harmful! What separates people are their attitudes about themselves, and this is where positive affirmations come into play.

Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations are statements that assert the existence or truth of something positive. This can be done as your subconscious is told that the truth exists, and the realization of this truth is favorable to your personal wellness. Positive affirmations are also known as a form of auto-suggestion, or self hypnosis.

Positive affirmations are a very powerful tool used to change how each individual thinks and feels about themselves, which translates into his attitude and actions when facing others. Positive affirmations work for everyone, as its very nature merely amplifies what already is in our minds. This can be our attitudes, our thought processes, and everything else that runs across your mind. With constant use of positive affirmations, you will be able to reprogram your internal subconscious mind, changing the negatives into the positives.

A good way to remain positive is by constantly conditioning the thoughts that are in your mind. The effectiveness of positive affirmations lies in that it needs to be transformed into action. What makes it work is your confidence in it working. Similar to a self-fulfilling prophecy, if you continually repeat it to yourself, the subconscious mind will make it become the truth. The best way to go about doing so is by continuously sowing positive thoughts and nurturing them.

Benefits of Positive Affirmations

The main benefit of positive affirmations is that it can be applied to any and every aspect of your life that you wish to improve. This can be with regards to your career, health, relationships or finances.

There are other benefits to utilizing positive affirmations for the subconscious mind. People who constantly affirm their minds with positive words and thoughts have stronger and more active muscles. On the other hand, if you give free reign to negative thoughts you will find yourself often feeling tired.

Positive affirmation also has an impact on your energy level, and a cheerful individual is usually one with many positive thoughts and programming. Hence, experts have advised that it is beneficial to start every day with positive thoughts and words, which will act as a multiplier on the other aspects of your life.

Lastly, positive affirmation allows you to fulfill your capabilities, strengths and talents. By constant repetition, you will eliminate the feelings of doubt and insecurity that bother you, making it easier to achieve a positive end result!

By. Greg Frost

Mindfulness.

"Mindfulness is being aware of yourself, others, and your surroundings in the moment.  When consciously and kindly focusing awareness on life as it unfolds minute by precious minute, you are better able to savor each experience.  Also, being closely attentive gives you the opportunity to change unwise or painful feelings and responses quickly.  In fact, being truly present in a mindful way is an excellent stress reducer and, because of that, can be seen as consciousness conditioning, a strengthening workout for body, mind, heart, and spirit."
~ Sue Patton Thoele

Free Yourself By “Letting Go” of What You Can’t Control.

We all want to feel like we’re in control of our life and are masters of our destiny.

Think of a time when things started to feel out of control in your life. How did you feel? What did you do?

Did you do everything in your power to regain control, and cling to the little bit of direction you had left?

Many people become consumed with what they can’t control and obsessed with making things different.

"If we ever want true emotional well-being and spiritual freedom we have to learn to “let go” of what we can’t control."

When we dwell on what is out of our control, whether something that happened to us in the past, or something we’re awaiting in the future, it prevents us from experiencing the beauty in the moment and having peace of mind.

The paradox of control

The more we try to control things the less control we will experience. Things will inevitably be different than we expect and can change in an instant. When we can embrace that things are ever changing we begin to loosen our grip on the many areas of life we try to hold sway over.

When we desire control and don’t have it, it leads to worrying and agitation. We become irrational and start thinking about all the negative things that could happen. The more control we crave the more we begin to live from fear and desperation.

Here are a few ideas to help you “let go”.

Is it that you can’t or you won’t?

This is an important question to ask yourself to help you “let go” of the emotional burden that comes with a desire for control. Ask yourself, “Is this a situation where I can’t change or I won’t change.”

Sometimes we feel like we can’t make a change, “I can’t quite my job.” “I can’t give up this salary.” “I can’t get into college.” “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t…” Statement such as these set us up to feel out of control.

Usually it’s not that we can’t, but that we won’t.

When we can accept we won’t change it makes it much easier to let go and move forward. From this perspective, we have a choice in the matter.

Accentuate the positive

When we don’t feel in control it’s easy to focus on what’s going wrong and how terrible things are. We start to feel dis-empowered and lose perspective on our capabilities.

We may start catastrophizing about all the horrible things that could happen and have trouble looking beyond the immediate situation.

By learning to focus on what’s going right and not letting our situation consume our thoughts, we not only experience less distress but will be able to think more clearly and problem solve more effectively.

Stay mindful and breath

Mindfulness is an approach to experiencing life moment by moment. When we are mindful we can deal with our situation without being judgmental or critical of ourselves or the circumstances.

When we feel unpleasant we don’t have to get caught up in this. We can relax and step back, instead of brooding in this negative state.

Work to be mindful of your breath. Just pay attention to your natural breathing. You can also be mindful of your senses, or your thoughts. The goal is to remain present and nonjudgmental of what is taking place.

Being aware can help simplify a situation and make if easier to deal with it.

Visualize your desired outcome

Visualization is one of the most powerful ways to overcome fears and push past uneasiness. All successful musicians, athletes, and performers visualize themselves completing the task that awaits them.

Visualization is different than simply day dreaming or fantasizing about an outcome we desire. We must take action and put in the work necessary to make a change.

Despite what is taking place at the time we can visualize a successful outcome. This will give us psychological and emotional support to stay motivated and able to persevere, and it will keep our thinking focused on what we desire and prevent us from feeling overwhelmed or panicked.

Keep a sense of humor

Have you ever noticed that when things aren’t going the way we planned, even the smallest things can start to cause stress? When under stress we become overly serious and neglect the many moments of pleasure and gratification that surround us.

Humor can really cut tension and lighten-up a difficult situation.

When things seem bleak looking at things from a humorous perspective can help lighten the load. Look for humor in serious situations and use this as a tool to release your grip on control.

Focus on what you can control

When life seems completely out of control, there is always something amidst the chaos that can help us regain a sense of control.

It may be something very small, and if nothing else we can always learn to control our attitude.

We can’t control everything that takes place, but we can learn to focus on what we can do personally and how we can make a change. This helps us move beyond a victim mentality and to feel empowered to take action.

 Joe Wilner M.A. C.C.P.

When it comes to love.

"When it comes to love, so many times it is so hard to let go of what we can't control because we are busy holding on to false expectations. Emotionally attaching yourself to your own sentiments rather than facing reality can actually make you a victim of your own personal desires. Everyone is uniquely different, with personalities, standards and limitations. Where one can give abundantly, someone else may not be able to give at all. To put expectations on others of that which I expect of myself, is not fair to them or me. More times than not, this leads to disappointment and dissension. Hold on to hope, but let go of expectations. What will be will be. You can’t make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to the person to realize your worth." 

Wishing you...

"Wishing you laughter to put a song in your heart and fill your days with smiles.

Wishing you wonder to spark your imagination and add a special richness to life.

Wishing you beauty to delight our senses and color your dreams with joy."

~ Unknown

12 Things You Should Be Able to Say About Yourself.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
- Mae West

You know you’re on the right track when you can repeat each of the following headlines to yourself, honestly.  (And if you can’t, this list gives you something positive to work on.)

1.  I am following my heart and intuition.

Don’t be pushed by your problems.  Be led by your dreams.  Live the life you want to live.  Be the person you want to remember years from now.  Make decisions and act on them.  Make mistakes, fall and try again.  Even if you fall a thousand times, at least you won’t have to wonder what could have been.  At least you will know in your heart that you gave your dreams your best shot.

Each of us has a fire in our hearts burning for something.  It’s our responsibility in life to find it and keep it lit.  This is your life, and it’s a short one.  Don’t let others extinguish your flame.  Try what you want to try.  Go where you want to go.  Follow your own intuition.  Dream with your eyes open until you know exactly what it looks like.  Then do at least one thing every day to make it a reality.

And as you strive to achieve your goals, you can count on there being some fairly substantial disappointments along the way.  Don’t get discouraged, the road to your dreams may not be an easy one.  Think of these disappointments as challenges – tests of persistence and courage.  At the end of the road, more often than not, we regret what we didn’t do far more than what we did.  Read Quitter.

2.  I am proud of myself.

You are your own best friend and your own biggest critic.  Regardless of the opinions of others, at the end of the day the only reflection staring back at you inthe mirror is your own.  Accept everything about yourself – EVERYTHING!  You are you and that is the beginning and the end – no apologies, no regrets.

People who are proud of themselves tend to have passions in life, feel content and set good examples for others.  It requires envisioning the person you would like to become and making your best efforts to grow.

Being proud isn’t bragging about how great you are; it’s more like quietly knowing that you’re worth a lot.  It’s not about thinking you’re perfect – because nobody is – but knowing that you’re worthy of being loved and accepted.  All you have to do is be yourself and live the story that no one else can live – the story of your own unique life.  Be proud, be confident, you never know who has been looking at you wishing they were you.

3.  I am making a difference.

Act as if what you do makes a difference.  It does.

Is it true that we all live to serve?  That by helping others we fulfill our own destiny?  The answer is a simple ‘yes.’  When you make a positive impact in someone else’s life, you also make a positive impact in your own life.  Do something that’s greater than you – something that helps someone else to be happy or to suffer less.

You are only one, but you are one.  You cannot do everything, but you can do something.  Smile and enjoy the fact that you made a difference – one you’ll likely remember forever.

4.  I am happy and grateful.

Happiness is within you, in your way of thinking.  How you view yourself and your world are mindful choices and habits.  The lens you choose to view everything through determines how you feel about yourself and everything that happens around you.

Being grateful will always make you happy.  If you’re finding it hard to be grateful for anything, sit down close your eyes and take a long slow breath and be grateful for oxygen.  Every breath you take is in sync with someone’s last.

5.  I am growing in to the best version of me.

Judy Garland once said, “Always be a first rate version of yourself instead of a second rate version of somebody else.”  Live by this statement.  There is no such thing as living in someone else’s shoes.  The only shoes you can occupy are your own.  If you aren’t being yourself, you aren’t truly living – you’re merely existing.

Remember, trying to be anyone else is a waste of the person you are.  Embrace that individual inside you that has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else.  Be the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms.  Improve continuously, take care of your body and health, and surround yourself with positivity.  Become the best version of you.

6.  I am making my time count.

Time is the most valuable constituent of life.  Make the time for what does matter today.  Really being in the moment, finding passion in your life, seeing the world and traveling, or just seeing the world that’s around you right now, being with great people, doing amazing things, eating amazing food and savoring life’s little pleasures.

Remember, your time is priceless, but it’s free. You can’t own it, but you can use it.  You can spend it, but you can’t keep it.  Once you’ve lost it you can never get it back.  You really do only have a short period to live.  So let your dreams be bigger than your fears and your actions louder than your words.  Make your time count!

7.  I am honest with myself.

Be honest about what’s right, as well as what needs to be changed.  Be honest about what you want to achieve and who you want to become.  Be honest with every aspect of your life, always.  Because you are the one person you can forever count on.

Search your soul, for the truth, so that you truly know who you are.  Once you do, you’ll have a better understanding of where you are now and how you got here, and you’ll be better equipped to identify where you want to go and how to get there.  Read The Four Agreements.

8.  I am good to those I care about.

In human relationships distance is not measured in miles, but in affection.  Two people can be right next to each other, yet miles apart.  So don’t ignore someone you care about, because lack of concern hurts more than angry words.  Stay in touch with those who matter to you.  Not because it’s convenient, but because they’re worth the extra effort.

When was the last time you told your family and close personal friends that you loved them?  Just spending a little time with someone shows that you care, shows that they are important enough that you’ve chosen — out of all the things to do on your busy schedule — to find the time for them.  Talk to them.  Listen to them.  Understand them.

Many times it’s our actions, not just our words that really speak what our heart feels for another.

9.  I know what unconditional love feels like.

Whether your love is towards a child, a lover, or another family member, know the feeling of giving love and not expecting anything in return – this is what lies at the heart of unconditional love.  Life through unconditional love is a wondrous adventure that excites the very core of our being and lights our path with delight.  This love is a dynamic and powerful energy that lifts us through the most difficult times.

Love is beautiful and unpredictable.  It begins with ourselves, for without self-love, we cannot know what true love can be.  In loving ourselves, we allow the feeling to generate within us and then we can share it to everyone and everything around us.  When you love unconditionally, it isn’t because the person you love is perfect, it’s because you learn to see an imperfect person perfectly.

10.  I have forgiven those who once hurt me.

We’ve all been hurt by another person at some point or another – we were treated badly, trust was broken, hearts were hurt.  And while this pain is normal, sometimes that pain lingers for too long.  We relive the pain over and over, letting them live rent-free in our head and we have a hard time letting go.

Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness, it causes us to miss out on the beauty of life as it happens.  To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you.

11.  I take full accountability for my life.

Own your choices and mistakes, and be willing to take the necessary steps to improve upon them.  Either you take accountability for your life or someone else will.  And when they do, you’ll become a slave to their ideas and dreams instead of a pioneer of your own.

You are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life.  And no, it won’t always be easy.  Every person has a stack of obstacles in front of them.  But you must take accountability for your situation and overcome these obstacles.  Choosing not to is choosing a lifetime of mere existence.  Read The Road Less Traveled.

12.  I have no regrets.

This one is simply a culmination of the previous eleven…

Follow your heart.  Be true to yourself.  Do what makes you happy.  Be with who makes you smile.  Laugh as much as you breathe.  Love as long as you live.  Say what you need to say.  Offer a helping hand when you’re able.  Appreciate all the things you do have.  Smile.  Celebrate your small victories.  Learn from your mistakes.  Realize that everything is a lesson in disguise.  Forgive.  And let go of the things you can’t control.

By. Angel Hack

10 Ways Happy People Choose Happiness.

Happiness is a choice.  For every minute you are angry or irritated, you lose 60 seconds of happiness.  Be happy.  Be yourself.  If others don’t like it, then let them be.  Life isn’t about pleasing everybody.

If you have the courage to admit when you’re scared, the ability to laugh even as you cry, the nerve to speak up, even if your voice is shaking, the confidence to ask for help when you need it, and the wisdom to take it when it’s offered, then you have everything you need to get yourself to a happier state of mind.

Begin today by taking responsibility for your own contentment.  Here are ten ways to choose happiness:

1. Choose to be the best YOU can be. – Give it your all in everything you do, commit to your goals, and don’t compare yourself to anyone else.  John Wooden once said, “Success and happiness is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.”  Never try to be better than anyone else, but never stop trying to be the best you can be.  If you feel called to compare yourself to someone, compare yourself to an earlier version of yourself.
2. Choose to be around the right people. – Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded.  Relationships should help you, not hurt you.  Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be.  Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you – people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it.  Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  When you free yourself from negative people, you free yourself to be YOU – and being YOU is the only way to truly live.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.
3. Choose to focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t. – When you appreciate what you have, what you have appreciates in value.  Being grateful for the goodness that is already evident in your life willbring you a deeper sense of happiness.  And that’s without having to go out and buy or acquire anything new.  It makes sense.  You will have a hard time ever being happy if you aren’t thankful for what you already have.
4. Choose a good attitude. – What often screws us up the most in life is the picture in our head of how it’s supposed to be.  And the reason so many of us give up is because we tend to look at how far we still have to go, instead of how far we have come.  Remember, life is a journey, not a destination.  This moment, like every moment, is a priceless gift and an opportunity.  Be positive, smile, and make it count.  Pretend today is going to be great.  Do so, and it will be.  Research shows that although we think that we act because of the way we feel, in fact, we often feel because of the way we act.  A great attitude always leads to great experiences.
5. Choose to smile more often. – A smile is a choice, not a miracle.  Don’t wait for people to smile.  Show them how.  A genuine smile makes you and everyone around you feel better.  The simple act of smiling sends a message to your brain that you’re happy.  And when you’re happy, your body pumps out all kinds of feel-good endorphins.  This reaction has been studied since the 1980’s and has been proven a number of times.  Bottom line:  Smiling actually makes you happier.
6. Choose to take care of your body. – Taking care of your body is crucial to being the happiest person you can be.  If you don’t have your physical energy in good shape, then your mental energy (your focus), your emotional energy (your feelings), and your spiritual energy (your purpose) will all be negatively affected.  Recent studies conducted on people who were clinically depressed showed that consistent exercise significantly raises happiness levels in the near-term.  Not only that, six months later, the people who had continued to exercise were less likely to relapse into depression because they had a higher sense of self-accomplishment and self-worth.
7. Choose honesty. – Start being honest with yourself and everyone else.  Don’t cheat.  Be faithful.  Be kind.  Do the right thing!  It is a less complicated way to live.  Integrity is the essence of everything successful.  When you break the rules of integrity you invite serious complications into your life.  Keep life simple and enjoyable by doing what you know in your heart is right.  Don’t get involved with drama that doesn’t affect you.
8. Choose to help others when you’re able. – Care about people.  In life, you get what you put in.  When you make a positive impact in someone else’s life, you also make a positive impact in your own life.  Do something that’s greater than you – something that helps someone else to be happy or to suffer less.
9. Choose to let go when you know you should. – Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself.  Love is worth fighting for, but you can’t be the only one fighting.  People need to fight for you too.  If they don’t, you eventually have to move on and realize that what you gave them was more than they were willing to give you.  Some relationships and situations just can’t be fixed.  If you try to force them back together, things will only get worse.  Holding on is being brave, but letting go and moving on is often what makes us stronger and happier.
10. Choose to embrace the next step in your life. – You can hold on to the past, or you can create your own happiness today.  Never let success get to your head and never let failure get to your heart.  Every day is a new beginning and a new ending.  Embrace it, make the best of it, smile, and keep looking straight ahead.  And don’t forget, a smile doesn’t always mean a person is happy right now; sometimes it simply means they are strong enough to face their problems going forward.  Read The How of Happiness.

And remember, your mind is your private sanctuary; do not allow the negative beliefs of others to occupy it.  Your skin is your barrier; do not allow others to get under it.  Take control of your boundaries and what you allow yourself to absorb from others.

Never let someone’s opinion become your reality.  Never sacrifice who you are because someone else has a problem with it.  Love who you are inside and out.  No one else has the power to make you feel small unless you give them that power.  You are the only one who can create your happiness.

The choice is yours.  Choose happiness.

~ Marc and Angel Hack

12 Ideas to Lead You to a More Fulfilled and Peaceful Life.

How much do you love yourself? 

How much do you show it?

My guess is that your self-love often takes a backseat in your life, right? You take care of all the people around you, but forget about your own needs, desires and emotional and physical health.

We’re going to change that today with some powerful self-care tools.

Self-care is one of the most important practices you will ever learn in life. If you’re happy, taken good care of, relaxed, empowered and in tune with yourself and your yearnings, you’ll be able to live life to the fullest.

We all respond differently to self-care and self-love practices and we all need different tools at different times in our lives. Don’t hold on to one single self-care tool, but be creative and have a whole toolbox ready for you to fall back on when you’re tired, stressed, overwhelmed or simply in need of some radical self-love.

The following ideas will get you started on your journey to a more fulfilled and peaceful life.

1. Feed your mind with positivity

Unfortunately, we live in a society where negativity and lamenting about life, the economy and the world is almost a competitive sport. Who can complain more? You or me? But, you don’t have to play along.

You can play your own game: the game of positivity and self-empowerment. By feeding your mind with all kinds of positive statements about life, yourself and the world, you’ll subtly change your thoughts and your entire mindset. You’ll be empowered, more relaxed and, which is the most important part of all, completely at peace with who you are and what it is you want and cherish.

2. Be creative

Creativity is essential in every person’s life. When you let your creativity flow freely, you can release tension, let go of resentments, anger and blame and everything else that is keeping you from living freely and fully.

Put some music on and paint, scrapbook, write poems or stories, sing, play the piano, dance and express yourself in whatever form you want.

It’s crucial that you don’t judge yourself and your art and simply accept it for what it is: yours. Art can never be good or bad, ugly or beautiful. It just is. Art is all about perception, so perceive yours as truly you, nothing more, nothing less.

3. Sleep

Oh, sleep. How important it is and how often it is neglected, right? Life gets in the way, we get busy, work late, take care of our kids, spouses, partners, parents and more. We go to bed late, get up super early and drag ourselves through the day, grouchy, tired and without energy.

7 hours of sleep is a must if you want to be well-balanced, in a good mood and function on your highest level.

4. Plan an at-home spa day

I love at-home spa days. They’re more affordable than their public counterparts, but just as relaxing and rewarding. Have breakfast in bed, soak yourself in a long, hot bath, give yourself a massage, paint your nails, plug your eyebrows, apply a face mask, do a natural body scrub and take a long, well-deserved nap.

You’ll feel rejuvenated, energized, relaxed and more grounded than in a while.

5. Create your own sanctuary

Having your own sanctuary, in which you can withdraw when you need some alone time is balm for your soul. Create it after your own liking with the colors of your choice, the decoration that soothes and comforts you whenever you feel down. If you do it right, you will feel safe, taken care of, loved and at peace the moment you step into your little haven.

6. Stay in bed and read

Treat yourself to a day in bed with a good book, escape into the world of your favorite author and lose yourself in the story of the hero of the novel.

7. Practice mindfulness or meditation

I’ve recently taken on practicing mindfulness and meditation and it has enriched my life in many ways. Give yourself the treat of 15 minutes a day to just be. Let your thoughts pass by without holding on to them and focus on your breathing.

If meditation is too big a goal for you, then practice mindfulness by focusing on the things you see, hear and feel. Be in the moment and let all thoughts of the past or the future be overwritten by the reality that is right in front of you.

8. Do yoga

Yoga is amazing for your body, mind and soul. Your body wants movement, needs movement and is happy whenever you give it just that. When doing yoga, you’ll be able to connect your mind with the sequence of asanas and you’ll be deeply in tune with your body and the universe. It’s a great spiritual practice and something I won’t want to do without anymore.

9. Learn to say no

Having firm boundaries is one of the hardest things to have, especially if you’re a born people pleaser and who isn’t right? But saying no, even if it feels uncomfortable at first, is crucial when you’re serious about honoring yourself. Always saying yes, always being there for others means always putting yourself last. Now, that goes against everything that self-love is about. So, say no to others more often and say yes to yourself.

10. Start something new

Starting a new hobby or journey engages your mind in many ways and releases the happiness hormone dopamine. Take up a pleasurable activity that you have always wanted to try to see how rewarding it is. Pursue a new road in your life and notice how empowered you’ll be.

11. Declutter your home

Having a lot of clutter in your home weighs down your mind and your mood. Taking a day to get rid of everything you don’t need, wear or use will lighten your emotional baggage and free up space for something new.

12. Be you

Be you with all the perfect imperfections and flaws you have. You’re enough the way you are. There’s nothing more destructive than pretending to be someone you’re not and constantly going after the approval of others. Instead, focus on being who you’re meant to be and being unquestionably proud of it.

by. Anne-Sophie Reinhardtnn

Mastering The Art of a Worry-Free Life.

Here are 6 ways to embrace the Art of a Worry-Free Life:

• Step 1: Accept That Worry Doesn't Help
  
  

  “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.” - Mark Twain

  
  I wouldn’t object to worrying if it was more practical in improving our lives. But, the fact is, worrying won’t pay the rent or stop an aneurism from exploding in our brain. And I’ve never seen a hurricane that could be stopped by a few hours of nail biting.
  
  Worrying does nothing to help us deal with what we’re anxious about. It doesn’t make us more creative, smarter, engaging, or productive. Go ahead, worry 24 hours a day, 52 weeks a year…and see for yourself if one second of that worrying does anything to make your life better. And while seeing through this illusion of worry won’t immediately put you into a Zen-like state of bliss, it will hopefully give you more energy, while freeing up your mind long enough to see practical solutions to your problems. It will hopefully lead you to action.
• 
  
• Step 2: Stay In The Moment
  
  

  “Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.” - Author Unknown

  
  The problem with worry is that it exists almost entirely in the past and the future.
  We spend so much time and energy worrying about what has already happened, or what we think might happen in the future, that we have no time for today. This not only keeps our worries spinning alive, but weakens us, kills our spirit, and robs us of joy.
  
  Staying in the moment —living in the now— is at the heart of any worry free program. Volumes have been written on the subject and, to be honest, you could spend a lifetime mastering it. Here is what you can do right now to get started:
• Engage in activities that keep you in the moment. Deep breathing exercises work, as will yoga, meditation, gardening, reading, running, swimming; a walk in the woods, a bike ride at the beach. Nature helps, so does humor, volunteering, and doing virtually anything you’re passionate about.
• 
  
• Surround yourself with people who live in present moment awareness. Children are good for this, so are older people, outdoor types, athletes and creatives. With a little effort, you’ll find your own role models. Spend enough time with them and it’ll rub off. Note to your new self: At first these people might get on your nerves. That’s your worried, uncomfortable self cringing at the idea of letting go. Stay with it.
• 
  
Catch yourself living in the past or the future as often as you can. Notice regret as it pops up, or guilt, or longing. Recognize when you start thinking about what might or might not happen tomorrow. Catch all these “past and future” moments, then bring yourself back to the moment you’re living in.                                

Step 3: Stop Looking For Bad Things To Worry About

• “He that seeks trouble always finds it.” - English Proverb

  
  Turn off the news, switch off talk radio, stop reading newspapers, and avoid all conversations with people who only want to talk about how screwed up the world is. You know who they are.
  
  The more you think, talk, or obsess about something, the faster you’ll bring more of it into your life. After all, it’s hard enough to stop worrying about your own problems, let alone have to take on those of the world. Don’t pile on more.
• 
  
• Step 4: Start Looking For Good Things to Be Happy About
  
  

  “He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, 
  but rejoices for those which he has." - Epictetus

  
  It’s a law of the universe that two objects can’t occupy the same place at the same time. This applies to our thoughts as well. It’s not enough to want to rid ourselves of worried thoughts, we need to replace those worries with something positive to think about. In other words, stop focusing on the approaching hurricane and start thinking about the family you’re huddled around with in the basement.
  
  Worry isn’t going to go away easily. We have to fight it with everything we have. And what we have are our children, our spouses and loved ones, sunsets and stars, oceans and mountains; our beating hearts and strong minds; our endless capacity to love, laugh and find joy. It’s called gratitude…and it works.
• 
  
• Step 5: Be Prepared, Then Let Go
  
  

  “Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.” - Herman Hesse

  
  Living a worry-free life doesn’t mean we should pretend our world isn’t filled with challenges. We need to be ready for what comes. And nothing combats worry more than action.
  
  So, wear sunscreen, pay off credit cards, eat more greens, learn fractions, and when that hurricane approaches, board up the windows, stock up on supplies and head to the basement. What we can’t do is tell the hurricane to make a u-turn when it comes to our street. That’s the point we need to let go. It’s called surrender, trust, or the simple knowing that there is something larger than ourselves and the problems we face. All of which leads to our 6th and most important step.
• 
  
• Step 6: Use Worry To Find Meaning In Life
  
  

  “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” - Khalil Gibran

  
  While the previous five steps will take us far in alleviating worry, to achieve lasting relief, we need a shift in perception. We need to re-interpret our worries in light of what they have to teach us. Granted, not everyone will want to do this.
  
  It isn’t easy asking someone to look beyond his or her struggles in search of a greater truth. It’s like asking someone to see the rainbow when they’re stuck in the middle of a storm —easy advice to give, not so easy to take.
  
  Yet, it is the exact step that will bring us peace.
  
  The key is to cultivate this spirit of living before the storm hits. It’s no secret that we all have our stories, our own scars. You have yours. I have mine. They may take different shapes, or arrive at different times in our lives, but nobody is immune from pain, sorrow and challenge. It is only how we write the endings to our stories that are different — how we will each work through, and then learn from our experiences.
  
  And, of course, the best stories —the ones we all remember— are the ones where we come out of a crisis as a different person. The stories where we not only endure, but emerge stronger, happier, and wiser.
  
  It is the hero’s journey. Your journey…and mine.
  
  It is a journey where worry evolves into action, insight, then reinvention; where worry transforms into hope and promise. But, this journey takes choice. A decision has to be made.
  
  What will we do with worry as it creeps into our lives each day? Will we cry foul, play victim, and point fingers? Will we give in and let worry continue to rule our lives? Or will we take action and engage life? Will we reject negativity, seek stillness and embrace gratitude, searching out people who will nourish and make us stronger? Will we choose to meet our worries head on, with the knowingness that our challenges, however difficult they may be, contain the seeds to bring more purpose and meaning into our lives than we could have ever imagined?
  
  Make the right choice —the heroic choice.

By. Bill Apablasa     

The Secret to Not Caring What People Think.

Whether it is becoming plugged into our identity, quitting alcohol or even becoming more confident, our worry of what people think can really affect us. From the jobs we choose, to the people we date and the risks we take, we often limit our actions through fear of criticism or judgment from others.

This is a serious issue, and a problem many people experience, therefore I’ve taken my personal experience and the advice of others to reveal the secrets to not caring what people think.

Why we Care what people Think

First of all, I want to say that sometimes caring what people think is not a bad idea; the part of our mind that produces this fear is often in place to protect us. For example, if we didn’t care what anybody thought then we might go out and kill somebody or run through shopping centers completely naked. These are extreme examples but should help you understand why the mindset is in place.

I’ve spent months trying to understand why we care what people think, and as (surprisingly) usual, the answer is relatively simple and the heart of what this website is about. The reason we care what people think is because we base our identity on their judgments of us, positive or negative. Because we think that part of our identity is how people view us (funny, cool, confident, shy) then we must protect that so that our identity is not affected. "What people say about you is none of your business." - Sean Stephensen

Of course, your identity is not what people think of you, it is just…you. If you are doing something that makes you feel guilty within, then this is something you will have to deal with beforehand.

How to (partially) not Care what People Think

Personally, I don’t think it is possible to completely stop caring what people think of us, and I don’t think that is such a bad thing. We are social creatures and that is how we learn, if we are acting like an idiot and someone notices then informs us, we may realise that we could have been acting more appropriately.

I realise that this is a very important topic to a lot of people – myself included – and therefore I have gone into detail with the following information to ensure that there is enough content to answer most questions and concerns. 

Imagine how different the world would be if we could all push to do the things we want to do, be the people we want to be and live how we want to live. Imagine how different the world would be if we were all plugged in…that is the aim of this business.

1. Stop Over-thinking

Although this is a website about empowering the readers, you are not the most important person in the world, at least not to others. It is probably in the majority of occasions that you think you are being judged where people don’t actually care for the thing you are worrying about. Do you judge every single person that you meet, probably not.

If you do, you might want to sort out that side of your life first as there’s no wonder you care what people think of you. The best way to test it is to push your limits a little, do something that is a bit out of the ordinary for you and see how people react. Chances are that only your “friends” might notice the change and make comments, but a random stranger really won’t care.

2. Put things into perspective

To people that aren’t naturally concerned what others think about them, having an issue with it seems quite strange or even silly. The reason is that when you put ‘issues’ like this under the microscope you can see they are really not worth having. 

You only get ONE chance at life in the physical world and you are going to allow other people’s thoughts make it less enjoyable?

Sounds silly now doesn’t it.

Apart from the fact that life really is too short to worry about things like this, the other aspect is that people’s feelings change. For example, say one moment people insult you for wearing yellow trainers, therefore you think they shouldn’t be worn and that is the last time you wear them. What if this persons opinions change, and they start wearing yellow shoes themselves; is that the only time you’ll put your trainers back on?

I used to know a boy who was bullied for growing his hair long, yet within 6 months, more than half the boys in my year (including those who insulted him) grew theirs as well. People change their minds, so what they judge you on now might not matter in the future. Are you going to wait until something is deemed cool or acceptable to be the person you want to be? Hopefully questions like this help you put things into perspective.

3. Be confident in your actions

Seeing as it’s likely we’ll always have some thought towards the feelings of others, what if we could really eliminate the amount of times it happens? Well, you can. The trick, if you want to call it that, is to simply be more confident in the decisions and actions you are taking.

Have you never seen someone that might be wearing something out of the ordinary or acting different to the surrounding crowd but things just seem normal and they aren’t being judged?

If you are wearing yellow shoes and are clearly uncomfortable in your choice then people are going to target you because they can see that and they probably want to feel good about themselves. However, if you can wear the shoes with pride and confidence, whilst clearly not caring what other people think then you’ll notice the negative reactions to be very small if any.

4. Learn to control your emotions

When you start to try things like pushing your limits or simply being more confident, you will undoubtedly have mixed emotions in your head. From stress, worry and fear, to relief and happiness, it can be a bit of a mind roller coaster; that is where controlling your emotions comes in.

The simple practice I learned from Eckhart Tolle goes a bit like this:

• Be conscious of an emotion inside you i.e. fear or worry
• Observe it within your mind
• Notice that if you are observing it, it can’t be a part of you
• Watch the emotion disappear

As soon as you observe an emotion, you are separating yourself from it and thus it can no longer exist.

5. Accept yourself for who you are

If you are constantly judging yourself then there will be no doubt to the fact that you’ll judge what other people think of you. The main cause for this is often self-limiting beliefs or society has made you think there is something wrong with you. Understandably, accepting yourself is not the easiest thing to do but there are things that help.

First of all, think of all the things that you don’t like about yourself and write them down. Now, look at them more closely and see if there is a possibility to change them. For example, if you are thin and don’t like that, then look at ways in which you can gain weight and bulk up. However, If you wish you were taller, it’s not exactly something you can change. For this, look at what could be worse, for example if you are 5″ 7′ and really don’t like that, just think that at least you are not 8″ 7′ or even 5″. You might not be at your perfectly desired height but there are people “worse off”.

These things are more of a temporary solution, as if you constantly look towards helping yourself by seeing people who are worse off or looking to change yourself, you can never accept you. As time goes by and you realise how unimportant the things you thought were, actually aren't and things get easier and your level of caring will plummet rapidly.

Glen Allsop