Positive Affirmations and Their Benefits.

Often, most people are unaware of their own strengths and weaknesses, even when prompted. When coupled with negative phrases that you often use, e.g. "I can be such an idiot!", which whilst meant to have a positive effect can actually result in negative consequences. The extent of the message and resultant programming into your subconscious can be extremely harmful! What separates people are their attitudes about themselves, and this is where positive affirmations come into play.

Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations are statements that assert the existence or truth of something positive. This can be done as your subconscious is told that the truth exists, and the realization of this truth is favorable to your personal wellness. Positive affirmations are also known as a form of auto-suggestion, or self hypnosis.

Positive affirmations are a very powerful tool used to change how each individual thinks and feels about themselves, which translates into his attitude and actions when facing others. Positive affirmations work for everyone, as its very nature merely amplifies what already is in our minds. This can be our attitudes, our thought processes, and everything else that runs across your mind. With constant use of positive affirmations, you will be able to reprogram your internal subconscious mind, changing the negatives into the positives.

A good way to remain positive is by constantly conditioning the thoughts that are in your mind. The effectiveness of positive affirmations lies in that it needs to be transformed into action. What makes it work is your confidence in it working. Similar to a self-fulfilling prophecy, if you continually repeat it to yourself, the subconscious mind will make it become the truth. The best way to go about doing so is by continuously sowing positive thoughts and nurturing them.

Benefits of Positive Affirmations

The main benefit of positive affirmations is that it can be applied to any and every aspect of your life that you wish to improve. This can be with regards to your career, health, relationships or finances.

There are other benefits to utilizing positive affirmations for the subconscious mind. People who constantly affirm their minds with positive words and thoughts have stronger and more active muscles. On the other hand, if you give free reign to negative thoughts you will find yourself often feeling tired.

Positive affirmation also has an impact on your energy level, and a cheerful individual is usually one with many positive thoughts and programming. Hence, experts have advised that it is beneficial to start every day with positive thoughts and words, which will act as a multiplier on the other aspects of your life.

Lastly, positive affirmation allows you to fulfill your capabilities, strengths and talents. By constant repetition, you will eliminate the feelings of doubt and insecurity that bother you, making it easier to achieve a positive end result!

By. Greg Frost

How Do Appreciation & Gratitude Affect Your Life?

I am a big believer in using the power of gratitude to create positive changes. Being constantly aware of your many blessings, and feeling grateful for them, can have a huge impact on the quality of your life. When you are filled with appreciation, it quite literally changes the dynamic of your reality.

I find it truly amazing how one, simple, positive action can change so much in a person’s life. In fact, recognizing the profound power of gratitude is one of the things that have had a huge effect on my life. It has made me a more positive and caring person. It has also made me a better husband, father, and friend. I can honestly say that in some very tangible ways, gratitude has made my life better.

Harness the power of gratitude.

Now you might not get the same exact benefits as I have, but I can pretty much guarantee that practicing gratitude and appreciation can change your life as well.  There’s no doubt in my mind that the simple act of being grateful on a regular basis will change your perception in very positive ways. How many other simple strategies do you know that can make such a claim?

Let’s take a look at some practical ways that you can start incorporating gratitude into your life so you can start enjoying the benefits immediately. Of course, these are just some examples based on my personal experience and the experiences of others I’ve talked with. Obviously, not all of them will apply to you, so just choose the ones that you feel comfortable with.

7 ways to improve your life with gratitude.

1. Have a morning gratitude review. 
Make it a daily ritual to take one minute in the morning to think of all the people and things in your life that you are grateful for. You won’t get to everything in one minute’s time, but it’s enough to get you thinking in the right direction. A simple gratitude review will instantly set the tone for the rest of the day and help you focus your attention on other things to appreciate about your life. Can you think of a better use of one minute?

2. When you are having a hard day, make a gratitude list. 
We all have those challenging days from time to time. During those difficult days it can be hard to maintain a positive outlook. One of the things that can make a bad day much better is to take a break and make a list of all the things you are thankful for. No matter what you are going through, there are always things to be thankful for. Making a list of those things will shift your focus and make you feel much more resourceful.

3. Instead of getting mad at someone, show gratitude. 
I know this isn’t always the easiest thing because it requires a complete reversal in attitude. But I can promise you that it’s a great thing to do for your own peace of mind. If you get mad, try to bite your tongue and resist the temptation to react in anger. Instead, take some deep breaths, calm down, and try to think of reasons you’re grateful for that person. Find something, anything, even if it’s something very small. Then focus only on that reason to feel grateful. Slowly your mood will begin to shift away from anger toward a more empowering state.

4. Instead of criticizing, show gratitude. 
This is similar to the strategy above, but much less challenging. This simple tactic can literally transform an important relationship like a marriage. If you constantly criticize your spouse, your marriage will slowly deteriorate. Yes, it’s important to be able to talk out problems, but no one likes to be criticized all the time. So, when you find yourself feeling the urge to criticize, stop and get a grip on yourself. Now take a moment to think about all the reasons you are truly grateful for your spouse. Then share that gratitude, as soon as possible and watch as your relationship becomes stronger.

5. When you face a major challenge, be grateful for it. 
Many people will see difficulties as a reason to complain and feel sorry for themselves. Trust me, that attitude won’t get you anywhere. Instead, try to see the positive aspects associated with those difficult experiences. Could you appreciate them as an opportunity to learn and grow? This simple change in perception can transform a challenge into something positive with possible long term benefits. But for that to happen we need to cultivate an attitude of gratitude.

6. Express gratitude to others at every opportunity. 

Say thank you whenever someone shows you the least bit of consideration. Doing this will make you feel better and it will encourage others to be more considerate. There are plenty of rude and inconsiderate people in the world, but you can be a force for good simply by spreading some gratitude around. Be on the lookout for even small acts of kindness. When you notice them be quick to express appreciation and watch what happens. You can use the power of your gratitude to help others feel good about themselves.

7. Focus on what you have not what you don’t have. 
Have you ever looked around you and felt shortchanged because the place you live isn’t your dream house or the car you drive isn’t as nice as you would like? It’s easy to forget that there are billions of people who are much worse off than you are. Those people would be so grateful to have what you have.  When you compare your life to these people’s lives, you can’t help but feel grateful for the life you have.  You may not have everything, but you must admit that you have been blessed in many ways.

Make the shift and enjoy the benefits.

The more you focus on gratitude the more you will appreciate your life and the happier you will be. An appreciative attitude will also make you more aware of your blessings and prevent you from taking them for granted. Remember, the happiest people are not the ones who have the best of everything, they are the ones who are grateful for everything they have.

By. Jonathan Wells

12 Ideas to Lead You to a More Fulfilled and Peaceful Life.

How much do you love yourself? 

How much do you show it?

My guess is that your self-love often takes a backseat in your life, right? You take care of all the people around you, but forget about your own needs, desires and emotional and physical health.

We’re going to change that today with some powerful self-care tools.

Self-care is one of the most important practices you will ever learn in life. If you’re happy, taken good care of, relaxed, empowered and in tune with yourself and your yearnings, you’ll be able to live life to the fullest.

We all respond differently to self-care and self-love practices and we all need different tools at different times in our lives. Don’t hold on to one single self-care tool, but be creative and have a whole toolbox ready for you to fall back on when you’re tired, stressed, overwhelmed or simply in need of some radical self-love.

The following ideas will get you started on your journey to a more fulfilled and peaceful life.

1. Feed your mind with positivity

Unfortunately, we live in a society where negativity and lamenting about life, the economy and the world is almost a competitive sport. Who can complain more? You or me? But, you don’t have to play along.

You can play your own game: the game of positivity and self-empowerment. By feeding your mind with all kinds of positive statements about life, yourself and the world, you’ll subtly change your thoughts and your entire mindset. You’ll be empowered, more relaxed and, which is the most important part of all, completely at peace with who you are and what it is you want and cherish.

2. Be creative

Creativity is essential in every person’s life. When you let your creativity flow freely, you can release tension, let go of resentments, anger and blame and everything else that is keeping you from living freely and fully.

Put some music on and paint, scrapbook, write poems or stories, sing, play the piano, dance and express yourself in whatever form you want.

It’s crucial that you don’t judge yourself and your art and simply accept it for what it is: yours. Art can never be good or bad, ugly or beautiful. It just is. Art is all about perception, so perceive yours as truly you, nothing more, nothing less.

3. Sleep

Oh, sleep. How important it is and how often it is neglected, right? Life gets in the way, we get busy, work late, take care of our kids, spouses, partners, parents and more. We go to bed late, get up super early and drag ourselves through the day, grouchy, tired and without energy.

7 hours of sleep is a must if you want to be well-balanced, in a good mood and function on your highest level.

4. Plan an at-home spa day

I love at-home spa days. They’re more affordable than their public counterparts, but just as relaxing and rewarding. Have breakfast in bed, soak yourself in a long, hot bath, give yourself a massage, paint your nails, plug your eyebrows, apply a face mask, do a natural body scrub and take a long, well-deserved nap.

You’ll feel rejuvenated, energized, relaxed and more grounded than in a while.

5. Create your own sanctuary

Having your own sanctuary, in which you can withdraw when you need some alone time is balm for your soul. Create it after your own liking with the colors of your choice, the decoration that soothes and comforts you whenever you feel down. If you do it right, you will feel safe, taken care of, loved and at peace the moment you step into your little haven.

6. Stay in bed and read

Treat yourself to a day in bed with a good book, escape into the world of your favorite author and lose yourself in the story of the hero of the novel.

7. Practice mindfulness or meditation

I’ve recently taken on practicing mindfulness and meditation and it has enriched my life in many ways. Give yourself the treat of 15 minutes a day to just be. Let your thoughts pass by without holding on to them and focus on your breathing.

If meditation is too big a goal for you, then practice mindfulness by focusing on the things you see, hear and feel. Be in the moment and let all thoughts of the past or the future be overwritten by the reality that is right in front of you.

8. Do yoga

Yoga is amazing for your body, mind and soul. Your body wants movement, needs movement and is happy whenever you give it just that. When doing yoga, you’ll be able to connect your mind with the sequence of asanas and you’ll be deeply in tune with your body and the universe. It’s a great spiritual practice and something I won’t want to do without anymore.

9. Learn to say no

Having firm boundaries is one of the hardest things to have, especially if you’re a born people pleaser and who isn’t right? But saying no, even if it feels uncomfortable at first, is crucial when you’re serious about honoring yourself. Always saying yes, always being there for others means always putting yourself last. Now, that goes against everything that self-love is about. So, say no to others more often and say yes to yourself.

10. Start something new

Starting a new hobby or journey engages your mind in many ways and releases the happiness hormone dopamine. Take up a pleasurable activity that you have always wanted to try to see how rewarding it is. Pursue a new road in your life and notice how empowered you’ll be.

11. Declutter your home

Having a lot of clutter in your home weighs down your mind and your mood. Taking a day to get rid of everything you don’t need, wear or use will lighten your emotional baggage and free up space for something new.

12. Be you

Be you with all the perfect imperfections and flaws you have. You’re enough the way you are. There’s nothing more destructive than pretending to be someone you’re not and constantly going after the approval of others. Instead, focus on being who you’re meant to be and being unquestionably proud of it.

by. Anne-Sophie Reinhardtnn

Dissolving Past Pain and Moving Forward In Your Life.

Have you ever been hurt so badly that you thought you’d never come out on the other side? Perhaps you’re still holding onto that grief. If you are, then it’s time to learn how to let go of past pain. You deserve to let it go and learn how to move forward with your life.

Holding onto past pain and anguish is a kind of self-inflicted torture that can cause serious health risks as well as emotional scarring. The truth is, when you cling to the past, you’re internally changing your present.

How can something you’ve kept inside for so long just be let go? It’s not an easy task, but it can be done with a little effort and self-reflection.

Here are some ways you can let go of past pain and disappointment, so you can move forward with your head held high:

1. Know what’s holding you back. What are you holding onto and why? Identify the things you’re keeping inside that you shouldn’t be.

• For example, maybe your best friend betrayed you in a way that broke your trust. Recognize this and figure out a way to finally deal with it. Get in touch with them again, then explain the pain they’ve caused.

• They may not even be aware they did anything to upset you. Whether or not they apologize isn’t important. While it may be nice, you can’t control others or force them to say sorry. However, by simply voicing your feelings, you are finding closure from the hurtful situation.

• Getting closure on something that was left open-ended can make a huge difference in letting things go.

2. Talk it out. If the person who caused the hurt is still in your life, talk to them about the way they made you feel. If that person isn’t available, try to talk to a close friend or professional therapist about the situation.

• Getting your emotions out in the open can help you get over any resentment or anger you may be feeling. Bottling up your emotions is never a good thing. Let it all out in a constructive way and you’ll be amazed at how much better you’ll feel.

3. Forgive and forget. It may sound easier said than done, but forgiving someone who has hurt you can be extremely therapeutic. Strive to let things stay in the past and don’t allow them to affect your present.

• Once you learn to forgive the people who’ve caused your pain, you will find it far easier to heal and move on with your life.

4. Make the first move. You’re in charge of your pain. You’re the one who carries it around with you and you’re the only one who can change its intensity. It’s up to you to take control of the pain and take the first step towards making yourself feel better.

• Acknowledge that your pain is real and that a positive solution exists.
• Confront the cause of the pain and do everything in your power to get rid of it.

The best way to move forward is to forgive the past. If you can’t change the past, you might as well learn to accept it and move on. You’ll be glad you did once you see just how bright your future can be when you regain control of your life.

Make the conscious decision, today, to live your life free from pain and resentment.

By.  http://www.mindreality.net

5 Secrets to Loving Yourself.

Self talk, the little voice in your head, the tape that runs over and over; these are all powerful words to describe how you feel about yourself.  If your self esteem and self-talk tends to be filled with put downs and negative affirmations of the essence of you, then how can you ever love yourself?  If you do not love yourself, how can you ever expect anyone else to love you?  Love yourself first!  Love yourself enough.  Empower yourself and you do the work.  The Universal Laws of Attraction suggest that you get and receive as much love as you give out. 

1.  Change your thoughts. What are you feeding your mind?  Have a visual of a stop sign.  When you begin calling yourself down, immediately stop your little voice and replace it with all the wonderful things that you are.

2.  Change your energy.  Garbage in, garbage out.  What are you feeding your body?  If your are feeding it garbage also known as junk food, then how can you expect to feel good about yourself?  Feed your body with healthy foods such as fruits and veggies. 

3.  Change your behavior 1.  What are you feeding your soul? Get an elastic band or something elastic and put it on your wrist.  When you catch yourself and stop yourself from saying something negative about yourself or others, transfer it to your other wrist.  Within one week of bringing this behavior to your conscious attention, you will likely be using more positive self talk.

4.  Change your behavior 2.  What are you feeding your emotions? Confront your fears.  What is the worst possible thing that can happen to you if you do that?  You will love yourself and be empowered with higher self esteem.

5.  Random Acts of Kindness.  Be an angel!  Choose to do something for someone else, preferably a stranger.  The research shows that when we do this we feel better about ourselves.  Keep it a delicious secret that you can hug to yourself!

By. Sherrie Hay

Reflection Questions

1. What are 4 things I say in my head when I get upset with myself? How can I consciously change that self talk habit?
2. What are 4 things I can do to pamper myself so that I feel good today?
3. One a scale of 1-10 how well do I love myself?  5 = average, 10 is top of the scale.
4. What are 4 ways in which I can easily perform an angel act or Random Act of Kindness?

Take a chance performing Life’s dance

Love yourself first!

"Instead of looking for love, give it;

constantly renew it in yourself and

you will always feel its presence within you.

It will always be there smiling at you,

gazing on you kindly."

(Omraam Mikhael Aivanhov)

9 Helpful Tips To Deal With Negative People.

1) Don’t get into an argument.

One of the most important things I learned is not to debate with a negative person. A negative person likely has very staunch views and isn’t going to change that just because of what you said. Whatever you say, he/she can find 10 different reasons to back up his/her viewpoint. The discussion will just swirl into more negativity, and you pull yourself down in the process. You can give constructive comments, and if the person rebutts with no signs of backing down, don’t engage further.

2) Empathize with them.

Have you ever been annoyed by something before, then have someone tell you to “relax”? How did you feel? Did you relax as the person suggested or did you feel even more worked up?

From my experience, people who are negative (or upset for that matter) benefit more from an empathetic ear than suggestions/solutions on what he/she should do. By helping them to address their emotions, the solutions will automatically come to them (it’s always been inside them anyway).

3) Lend a helping hand.

Some people complain as a way of crying for help. They may not be conscious of it though, so their comments come across as complaints rather than requests. Take the onus to lend a helping hand. Just a simple “Are you okay?” or “Is there anything I can do to help you?” can do wonders.

4) Stick to light topics.

Some negative people are triggered by certain topics. Take for example: One of my friends sinks into a self-victimizing mode whenever we talk about his work. No matter what I say (or don’t say), he’ll keep complaining once we talk about work.

Our 1st instinct with negative people should be to help bring them to a more positive place (i.e. steps #2 and #3). But if it’s apparent the person is stuck in his/her negativity, the unhappiness may be too deeply rooted to address in a one-off conversation, or for you to help him/her unravel it. Bring in a new topic to lighten the mood. Simple things like new movies, daily occurrences, common friends, make for light conversation. Keep it to areas the person feels positive towards.

5) Ignore the negative comments.

One way to help the negative person “get it” is to ignore the negative comments. If he/she goes into a negative swirl, ignore or give a simple “I see” or “Ok” reply. On the other hand, when he/she is being positive, reply in affirmation and enthusiasm. Do this often and soon he/she will know positivity pays off. He/she will adjust to be more positive accordingly.

6) Praise the person for the positive things.

Negative people aren’t just negative to others. They’re also negative to themselves. If you already feel negative around them, imagine how they must feel all the time. What are the things the person is good at? What do you like about the person? Recognize the positive things and praise him/her for it. He/she will be surprised at first and might reject the compliment, but on the inside he/she will feel positive about it. That’s the first seed of positivity you’re planting in him/her and it’ll bloom in the long-term.

7) Hang out in 3′s or more people.

Having someone else in the conversation works wonders in easing the load. In a 1-1 communication, all the negativity will be directed towards you. With someone else in the conversation, you don’t have to bear the full brunt of the negativity. This way you can focus more on doing steps #1 (Empathizing) and #2 (Helping the person).

8) Be responsible for your reaction.

Whether the person is negative or not, ultimately you’re the one who is perceiving the person is negative. When you recognize that, actually the negativity is the product of your lens. Take responsibility for your perceptions. For every trait, you can interpret it in a positive and a negative manner. Learn to see the goodness of the person than the negative. It may be tough initially, but once you cultivate the skill, it becomes second nature.

9) Reduce contact with them / Avoid them.

If all else fails, reduce contact with them or avoid them altogether. If it’s a good friend, let him/her know of the severity of the issue and work it out where possible. It’s not healthy to spend too much time with people who drain you. Your time is precious, so spend it with people who have positive effects on you.

By. Celestine Chua

12 Ways To Keep A Positive Attitude.

Do you have a positive attitude? More importantly, do other people think you do? Staying upbeat can be challenging when things aren’t going well at work or with the family. Our society understands that and has responded to the problem with a bevy of positive attitude books and power of positive thinking messages. But then we struggle to understand how to have a positive attitude when you lose a job, a marriage fails, or a child is struggling with health problems. While it is possible to exude self-confidence that is reinforced by positive affirmations, it takes consistent effort. Below are 12 reliable tips for improving your state of mind to cultivate a positive attitude.

1. Give thanks for each day.

Whether you say it to yourself or pray about it, express gratitude for all the things you take for granted, including your place to live, family, employment, clothes, neighbors, transportation, education, sunshine, food choices, health, and freedom. Even if you have just some of these things, or small amounts of them—like a high school diploma instead of a college degree—be thankful that you have even that much. Americans enjoy the top 10% of the world’s wealth; now, that’s something to be glad about.

2. Count your personal blessings.

In addition to general gratitude, look for personal benefits in your life. These could include things like a clear mind, a fit body, nice furniture, a social life, leisure time, trustworthy friends, health care insurance, entertainment opportunities, and a host of other things that you wouldn’t notice unless they were taken from you. You can even make a list and add to it as more things come to mind. Then when you are feeling down, read your list to be reminded of all the good things in your life.

3. Do a good deed without telling anyone.

Isn’t it exciting to help people without their knowing it? Imagine the surprise on a single mom’s face when she receives an anonymous delivery of groceries or a gift card for a free oil change. How about a child’s delighted grin when he finds a bicycle with his name on it on the back porch or receives a gift certificate for the athletic equipment store? An elderly neighbor might gasp in shock to find her flower beds weeded one morning. There are plenty of good deeds waiting to be done by caring people like you. The surprising backlash is you will feel better about yourself and the world at large, too.

4. Forgive an old hurt.

Holding a grudge for weeks, months, or years can keep a sour expression on anyone’s face. Contact the person who has wronged you, using email, telephone, or a note card, and express your forgiveness in kind, not controlling words. You will feel empowered by your ability to demonstrate strength of character in humility and forgiveness, which can open the door to restored relations and help you feel better about your magnanimous actions.

5. Ask to be forgiven.

If you have wronged someone but stubbornly refuse to admit it, now is the time to seek forgiveness. Call or write to say you’re sorry. If the recipient of your apology gives you a hard time, thank him for listening and mention you have to get going. By remaining polite and respectful, your apology will let you get the old burden off your chest, no matter how the other person reacts. You’ll feel better, stronger, and freer automatically.

6. Appreciate your belongings.

Have you ever noticed the quality of your hand-sewn leather shoes? How about the unbeatable taste of Grandma’s award-winning apple pie recipe? Do you enjoy the feel of leather in your late-model car? Isn’t it great crashing on your sofa after a trying day at work?

All of these material comforts may seem small when compared to other things, but they are priceless in their own way, providing emotional and physical comfort as well as ownership pride and satisfaction. Be happy that you can afford leather shoes, and that you have a grandmother who bakes, and that you can relax in the privacy of your home. Many people do not have these things.

7. Compliment someone.

When you feel truly lousy and just don’t want to be bothered, say something nice to the next person you see, assuming it isn’t someone to avoid. Making a positive statement about a person’s appearance, attitude, health, or job performance can help him or her feel better, and you will feel good, too, for improving that person’s day.

8. Admire the view.

Find a comfortable seat outdoors and admire the scenery around you. This could be at a small urban park near your workplace during your lunch break, a cluster of trees in your neighborhood, or a country drive in the evening or over the weekend. Pastoral scenes help to rid your mind of stressful images and are conducive for helping you to relax and feel good about nature and life.

9. Donate something.

If you have something in your home that you’re not using, give it to someone who can use it. People in need of these things may appreciate an extra television, a second crock-pot, or a computer printer that you’ve replaced. If you don’t know someone who needs a spare, give it to a donation store and collect the tax receipt. Both outcomes should put a smile on your face.

10. Volunteer to help the needy.

If you have a busy schedule, perhaps helping once a year will be enough. Otherwise, try to donate a few extra hours each month to aid those in need. This might take the form of registering runners in a charitable marathon, delivering meals to shut-ins, or driving elderly persons to doctor appointments. There are numerous ways to offer assistance, which will make you feel needed and appreciated.

11. Sing a song.

Admit it—it’s hard to sing and stay in a bad mood! When you start to feel down and need to get back a positive attitude, hum or sing to yourself a childhood favorite or a contemporary pop hit. Either way, your spirits are bound to be lifted, boosting your self-confidence.

12. Smile!

Whenever you get a case of the grumps, look in the mirror and smile! You will truly smile at seeing your image in an artificial posture of gaiety. Practice your smile in front of the mirror until you find one you like—then share it frequently with those around you to demonstrate the power of positive thinking, as they probably will smile back, thus reinforcing your friendly efforts. Even when you’re sick, angry, or sad, remember to smile as you catch others’ glances at work, in the supermarket, and especially at home among your loved ones. A smile is contagious and promotes good will as well as a favorable impression of the one wearing it.

By Rose Alexander

Free Yourself By “Letting Go” of What You Can’t Control.

We all want to feel like we’re in control of our life and are masters of our destiny.

Think of a time when things started to feel out of control in your life. How did you feel? What did you do?

Did you do everything in your power to regain control, and cling to the little bit of direction you had left?

Many people become consumed with what they can’t control and obsessed with making things different.

If we ever want true emotional well-being and spiritual freedom we have to learn to “let go” of what we can’t control.

When we dwell on what is out of our control, whether something that happened to us in the past, or something we’re awaiting in the future, it prevents us from experiencing the beauty in the moment and having peace of mind.

The paradox of control

The more we try to control things the less control we will experience. Things will inevitably be different than we expect and can change in an instant. When we can embrace that things are ever changing we begin to loosen our grip on the many areas of life we try to hold sway over.

When we desire control and don’t have it, it leads to worrying and agitation. We become irrational and start thinking about all the negative things that could happen. The more control we crave the more we begin to live from fear and desperation.

Here are a few ideas to help you “let go”.

Is it that you can’t or you won’t?

This is an important question to ask yourself to help you “let go” of the emotional burden that comes with a desire for control. Ask yourself, “Is this a situation where I can’t change or I won’t change.”

Sometimes we feel like we can’t make a change, “I can’t quite my job.” “I can’t give up this salary.” “I can’t get into college.” “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t…” Statement such as these set us up to feel out of control.

Usually it’s not that we can’t, but that we won’t.

When we can accept we won’t change it makes it much easier to let go and move forward. From this perspective, we have a choice in the matter.

Accentuate the positive

When we don’t feel in control it’s easy to focus on what’s going wrong and how terrible things are. We start to feel disempowered and lose perspective on our capabilities.

We may start catastrophizing about all the horrible things that could happen and have trouble looking beyond the immediate situation.

By learning to focus on what’s going right and not letting our situation consume our thoughts, we not only experience less distress but will be able to think more clearly and problem solve more effectively.

Stay mindful and breath

Mindfulness is an approach to experiencing life moment by moment. When we are mindful we can deal with our situation without being judgmental or critical of ourselves or the circumstances.

When we feel unpleasant we don’t have to get caught up in this. We can relax and step back, instead of brooding in this negative state.

Work to be mindful of your breath. Just pay attention to your natural breathing. You can also be mindful of your senses, or your thoughts. The goal is to remain present and nonjudgmental of what is taking place.

Being aware can help simplify a situation and make if easier to deal with it.

Visualize your desired outcome

Visualization is one of the most powerful ways to overcome fears and push past uneasiness. All successful musicians, athletes, and performers visualize themselves completing the task that awaits them.

Visualization is different than simply day dreaming or fantasizing about an outcome we desire. We must take action and put in the work necessary to make a change.

Despite what is taking place at the time we can visualize a successful outcome. This will give us psychological and emotional support to stay motivated and able to persevere, and it will keep our thinking focused on what we desire and prevent us from feeling overwhelmed or panicked.

Keep a sense of humor

Have you ever noticed that when things aren’t going the way we planned, even the smallest things can start to cause stress? When under stress we become overly serious and neglect the many moments of pleasure and gratification that surround us.

Humor can really cut tension and lighten-up a difficult situation.

When things seem bleak looking at things from a humorous perspective can help lighten the load. Look for humor in serious situations and use this as a tool to release your grip on control.

Focus on what you can control

When life seems completely out of control, there is always something amidst the chaos that can help us regain a sense of control.

It may be something very small, and if nothing else we can always learn to control our attitude.

We can’t control everything that takes place, but we can learn to focus on what we can do personally and how we can make a change. This helps us move beyond a victim mentality and to feel empowered to take action.

By. Joe Wilner

How To Attract Anything You Want In Life.

Is it really possible to "attract anything" into your life? You bet! It's possible and you can do it anytime you want. The process of attracting things you want into your life might look odd at first, but will work like magic, if you have faith in the process.

This process is called The Law of Attraction. Though there is no concrete scientific evidence that this law works, there are millions of people who have used the law and achieved everything they wanted including money, wealth, relationships, new business ventures etc.

The easiest way to understand this law is to compare yourself to a magnet. Just like a magnet has the power to attract certain things towards it and cling to it, you too can attract whatever you want. In case of the magnet, its core is already built up of stuff that makes things attract to it. But, in your case, you have to "build your own magnet". This is very simple provided you follow some simple steps.

1. Make a list of all the things you want in your life. Don't be afraid that you might not be able to achieve some of those goals. If you are afraid, you are working against the law and there is no point of going forward in this exercise.

2. An easy way of achieving step 1 is to think what all you would want in life if you can already afford them. Imagine you are already a millionaire (or a billionaire). What would you want in your life? Where would you live? What type of house would you live in? What kind of "toys" you would own? Who would be living with you? Write it as clearly as possible.

3. Now point out the single most important goal. Let's say it is about owning your dream house.

4. Set a deadline for achievement of your goal.

5. Write this goal on:
1 small card which can fit into your wallet
1 poster

6. Everyday spend some time early in the morning to visualize your goal. Imagine as if you are already living in your dream house. You might want to put on some music to help you relax and visualize better. 

7. The more times you do the above exercise, the better it is. You start believing it is real and very soon it will.

8. In the coming days, you will be surprised to meet new people who can help you in achieving your goal. You will get exposed to new knowledge about your goal. This is when you will start experiencing the Law of Attraction. The more clearly you can visualize and feel the achievement of your goal, the sooner you will start experiencing the power of this law.

9. Never ever doubt your capabilities. Do not indulge in negative thinking. Think positive always.

Repeat the steps 3 to 9 for all major goals of your life. If you follow the above 9 steps, you can attract anything you want in your life! 

By. Nishant Kasibhatla

If you are interested in learning more about the "Laws of Attraction" I recommend you purchase the book "The Secret" By. Rhonda Byrne

How to Stop Obsessive Thoughts?

If you have reached a point in your life where you want to be rid of the continuous torture of the “thought generating” mind then it’s your good fortune. Obsessive or negative thoughts can make living miserable when you are plagued by them, but this very situation can become the invitation to transcend mind and be free of suffering forever.

Can you stop obsessive thoughts? – If you could it would be great, but the truth is that it’s slightly more complicated than just suppressing your thoughts which at-most you can do for a few seconds. Plus suppressing thoughts is even worse than enduring thoughts. It builds up a lot of negative energy inside.

So how to stop thinking horrible thoughts? The secret to stopping obsessive or negative thoughts is to detach from the mind. You cannot fight mind with the mind. That’s what this article is about. Let’s look at this in more detail.

If you believe that you are your mind, that’s a false notion again. If you are your mind then how can you observe the thoughts? So you must be separate from the mind to see what the mind is doing.

So the mind generates thoughts, which are mostly just energy forms. These thoughts pass through like clouds. We identify with some of these thoughts and obsess about them. So in truth all thoughts are just neutral energy forms, it’s “your” interest or association with the thoughts that makes them obsessive. If you can understand this truth, you have taken the first step towards getting rid of obsessive thoughts.

How to Stop Obsessive Negative Thoughts?

If you are asking this question, ask yourself another question – “is this question not another thought? It’s a thought about killing thoughts”. All your attempts at suppressing and stopping thoughts will fail because you will be using the mind to stop the mind. The police man and thief are both the mind, so how can the police man catch the thief?

So you cannot kill the mind by force. The mind dies its own death by the poison of disassociation.

What gives power to a thought? – Your interest. If you have no interest in a particular thought then it loses its hold over you. You can try this out now. Let the thoughts flow through your mind but don’t take interest in them. Just stay as a bystander or a watcher and let the thoughts float.

Initially you might have a hard time watching thoughts because of your inherent habit of associating with each thought that arises. It helps to know that you are not your thoughts, that thoughts are just energy forms created in the mind. Why does the mind create thoughts? No one knows – it’s just something it does, why bother. Do you ever ask why does the heart beat?

With a little practice you will get really good at watching thoughts and not involving yourself with them. You will stop giving power to thoughts by not giving them your interest. Thoughts die immediately when they are deprived of this fuel of interest. If you don’t associate with the thought or give power to the thought, it will wither away quickly.

What Are Thoughts?

Past events get stored as memories. Your mind conditioning and beliefs are also stored as memories. All this is unconscious storage; the mind does all this in auto mode. Perceptions and interpretations are created in the mind based on its past “external” conditioning and also its natural conditioning (genetics). These interpretations, perceptions and judgments come up as thoughts in the mind, and they can positive or negative depending on the mind’s conditioning. Thoughts are generated based on the past incidents/memories, future projections and interpretations on the present life situation. It’s like a computer trying to predict or conjure up projection based on the data it has collected so far.

When thoughts are negative in nature (thoughts of worry, anxiety, stress, lack, resentment, guilt etc) they produce resistance to the movement of your life, and this resistance is felt as suffering. Negative thoughts will always stand in resistance to the movement of your life, like blocks of stone in the midst of a swift current of water. Life is a stream of pure positive energy and hence any negative thought will stand in opposition to it, causing friction which is felt as suffering in the body.

The thoughts in your mind gain power from your attention and interest. Your attention is the fuel for your mind. So when you give attention to negative thoughts in the mind, you are unconsciously fueling it and thus attracting more momentum for these negative thoughts. The momentum of negative thoughts in your mind will slow down, and ebb away, automatically when you stop feeding your attention to it. Stay as an open space of awareness without contracting your attention on the negative thoughts of the mind, and soon they will lose their momentum.

You can focus on the positive thoughts generated in the mind, and thus develop a positive momentum in your mind. Every time your mind produces some positive thoughts, e.g thoughts of love, joy, excitement, abundance, beauty, appreciation, passion, peace etc, focus on it, milk it, and give attention to it. This will cause your mind to attract more positive thoughts and thus build a positive momentum. Whenever it thinks negatively, don’t give it attention or interest, this will cause the ebbing away of the momentum of negative thinking. It’s really that simple. Once you understand the mechanics of how thoughts gain momentum in the mind, you will be in total control of your state of being.

The Practice of Watching the Mind

All you need to do to get rid of obsessive thoughts is to watch the mind without getting involved. You will get really good at this with just a little practice. This practice, or “sadhana” as called in Hindu scriptures, is the root of awakening from the illusion of mind.

Without trying to understand this practice just implement it. The more you try to understand the more mind gets involved. Just watch the mind and you will soon see that you are not the mind at all. That the mind is like a machine in your head that generates thoughts based on your attention/interest. Be free of your mind by depriving it of your interest. This is the only direct path of becoming free of the mind.

Written by: Sen - CalmDownMind.com

Feel Less Frustrated When Stressed.

Often when people are stressed they feel more frustrated and emotionally reactive to events that would normally affect them less. In fact, increased frustration, irritability and sensitivity can be signs of burnout as well. If you find yourself feeling less patient, more frustrated, more emotional, and less able to handle the stresses of your life, there are several things you can do to feel better:

Here's How:

1. Find Quick Stress Relief
   Stopping your stress response relatively early on can help you to respond more calmly rather than reacting to stress in a way that you might regret. Quick stress relievers such as breathing exercises or Progressive Muscle Relaxation, for example, can calm you down and help you feel less frustrated and more able to handle what comes. Then you can take the next steps with a clearer head. Learn more about quick stress relievers so you can be prepared for what comes.
2. Change Your Attitude
   Much of whether or not we see something as stressful depends on our habitual thought patterns and how we process the world around us. For example, those who see things as under their control tend to be less stressed about what happens to them, as they see that they always have options for change. Studies have shown health benefits to optimistic ways of thinking as well. Learn more about how to develop a resilient state of mind, and you’ll feel less stressed.
3. Change Your Lifestyle
   If you feel yourself to be continually on edge, it’s possible that something needs to change in your life. If you cut down on commitments, take good care of your body, and make other healthy lifestyle changes, you’ll be dealing with less overall stress so you’ll be more effective at managing the stress that you do encounter. Read more about the most effective changes you can make to lead a healthy lifestyle.
4. Draw on Social Support
   Often people are helped by having the release and support of sharing their troubles with close friends, family or loved ones. While it’s not healthy to constantly complain about an endless list of woes, talking to a trusted friend about frustrations now and then (and returning the favor by being a good listener) can help you process what’s going on with your life, and enable you to brainstorm solutions. If you don’t have someone you’re comfortable sharing your situation with, seeing a therapist or starting a regular journaling practice have both been shown to have benefits as well.
5. Have Some Regular Stress Relief Activities
   To maintain a less stressed lifestyle, it’s important to have some regular stress relieving activities in your life. Those who regularly walk, meditate, or enjoy other stress relief activities in their lives tend to feel less stressed in general and less reactive to specific stressors that arise through the day.

       Elizabeth Scott, M.S.